Archive for January, 2009

As some of you may know I like to volunteer my time and give to various charities. Since I was first out on my own, earning my own dollars, I have done both of these things. I believe in the power of volunteerism to enhance the skills of an individual, develop a connection to others and to build a better community. I have met incredible people through volunteering and essentially began my career as a volunteer. I had a wonderful mentor, a woman named “Pat” who gave generously of her time, expertise and wisdom to my development.

I also have supported many different charities over the years, especially those benefiting women, children and our precious animals.

Adoption has become very rewarding for me but not in the way you would think, over two years ago I adopted a baby elephant named “Lempaute”. I had watched 60 Minutes in which they featured an incredible woman whose name is Dr. Dame Daphne Sheldrick. In Kenya, she and her team head up The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, a charity started in memory of her late husband David Sheldrick MBE. I have loved the opportunity to participate in the saving and care of these magnificent animals and greatly appreciate the people who work tirelessly along side them. I really look forward to the pictures and updates I receive. www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org

The SPCA has received in the past, my time for dog walking which subsequently precipitated me becoming a dog parent for 15 years. The society has also received multiple financial and food donations over the years. It is a job I could never do, as I know my emotions would get in the way, but giving helps.

Supporting women’s organizations is important to me too. Giving to the programs and shelters for abused women, preparing gifts for women in need, providing career coaching services, investing in the Girls Growth Fund and much more. I am always looking for more charities related to women, children and animals to focus my attention on, for information as well as to help.

Worldwide there are programs that need our time, energy and money and I believe it is in service to others that we gain the most. I encourage all women out there to see if in 2009 they can spare a dime or the time for one charity.

Maybe consider a career in the not for profit sector, there are plenty of organizations out there that may need your expertise. A good website in Canada for charities and employment is www.charityvillage.com. Become informed if nothing else, because when you are informed it allows you to pass on a message to others who may be in a better position to help.

Women who have influenced us through their service, started only with a thought to do something about an issue that was important to them. What grew from that affected their immediate family, then affected their community and with great vision went on to affect our world. Whatever you decide as your contribution it will be appreciated, great or small.

Future posts will help us all to become better informed of worldwide issues, feature women of influence and hopefully spark your interest in the spirit of giving.

Today I wondered, what happens when I Google the words “woman” and “man”?

When I Googled Man I received Wikipedia’s definition of Man first on the list, next was something on metropolitan area networks, Mans Group: foremost industrial players in transport related engineering, Weedman, Spider Man and various other mainly industry/career related hits. No side bar with any links or related searches directing me to various other sites.

Then I Googled the word Woman. The first thing I see is pictures of women, supposedly fun and sexy including one with her legs up in the air lying on a bed (no explicit nudity). Wikipedia was up next, then a site to meet Russian women for mail order brides, farther down the list is businesses and organizations for women.

Interestingly, down the side bar is a whole lot of direction towards sites, especially if you want to meet “naughty woman”, “sexy Ukranian or Asian girls” and apparently “what every woman wants from her man, a thicker, harder”….well you get the picture. On the subsequent pages you will find more businesses, support, magazines and the like for women, but I couldn’t help but reflect on the initial difference .

I kept hitting “Next” when Googling Man and came up with nothing explicit or hyper sexualized and still no related search tags at the bottom. But, Woman kept on receiving its share of related search tags, girls, hot woman, playboy, woman worship, woman quotes etc. Type in girls and you will hit the mother load, no pictures of actual girls, but of woman in more of their “girls gone wild” poses.

It is one of those observations I just wanted to share. I’m not sure what it means, but I could not help but feel that the translation was, a little less reverence for “woman” than “man“.

Despite what I observed, I still like the word “Woman”. It is beautiful, especially when you repeat it a few times, try it…it seems powerful in its structure, spiritual in its nature and grounded in its truth. It is worth repeating and it is better to do a search from within, as the sites you will find there are far more impressive.

I have just finished speaking to my dear friend Lise. As some of you might know she is also known as Chemo Woman, a superhero in the fight against cancer. However, I see more in her than the daily battle with the treatment she is receiving. I see what is evident in this picture which was taken earlier in 2008.

Look at that smile! Among all the attributes that Lise has there are three things I always thought was cool about her, great smile, she is photogenic and this woman was known for her legs. (Insert Rod Stewart’s Hot Legs song)

Now, she has been my friend since we were thirteen and many things have changed over that time, except those three things. You may wonder why am I focusing on that, well because I know that when she reads this, she will get a chuckle. I am coming clean, I envied my friend’s smile, photogenic face and legs.

This is a time when her body is doing some crazy things while it processes a chemical cocktail. I can assure you, without giving away any of our secrets, this is the worst cocktail she has had in her body. I love the fact that all women friends out there may realize the depth of our relationship. We are the keepers of so much information as it pertains to our women friends and some of it will remain between us and others things are fair game for disclosure.

We are counting down the weeks till this dance with treatment is over and when it is done we will throw a big party, with food and cocktails more befitting a celebration. I suggest she wears a skirt, flashes that big smile so we can have her grace yet another photo album or frame.

Hang in there my dear friend.

How can I not write about this, along with millions of other people throughout this wonderful world. I was up early to watch the coverage, and hours later still have my eyes and ears on this historic event. I just headed into my office now with my laptop in front of me and my little TV screen on my desk.

This is the first time I have ever watched an inauguration, it never really touched me in the way this has. The energy is infectious even though it is coming to me through the television, is it possible to feel the change and celebration miles or in my case a country away?

Today holds within it so many incredible things least of which is the sense of community. A collective consciousness draped lovingly in its hope for the future. It is a unifying experience and something that can never be duplicated.

As a Canadian viewing this, I see beyond the borders, languages, cultures, religions that make up the mosaic of the US and Canada. Beyond the talk of politics and the direction it may take, the partnerships formed and the vision of the leadership. Beyond all of that is the good will and civility that appears to serenade us. A composition that honors all of the world citizens and welcomes us to join not only in celebration but also in its success.

I want to drink this in and keep in my mind the smile of the new President. I wish our neighbours to the south all of the best. As President Obama serves you, know that you are supported in your efforts to serve this President, he who leads by example and inspires us all.

I don’t normally take the time to talk about my own health but lately my body seems to waging a war inside. It appears that due to some unexplainable reasons there is a war erupting within my body. It is a battle of the muscle groups!

From what I can gather from my intelligence, each group is jockeying for power and control. The sources conclude it may be due to weather changes, but that has not been confirmed. What I do know so far is:

The calf muscles decided that the morning is a good time to attack thus rendering me unable to properly put my feet on the floor. The neck muscles thought it would be great to go on the offensive with the inability to turn my head without major restrictions. The hips are a night time stalker, waiting until midway through my sleep to tense up, causing me to flip sides every twenty minutes or so. The knees have been put out of this bedtime battle with the long time use of a pillow between them. A pillow my husband likes to jokingly refer to as my “crotch rocket” but I tried to explain the pillow is for my knees, not my crotch.

The shoulder blades are restricting some natural movement with the left side showing off its unique ability to protrude out from time to time. Not very stealth like. The hands amazingly have remained fairly cooperative, hence allowing me to send out this message. I’m trying not to antagonize any remaining muscle groups given that the battle for pain supremacy could get worse if I do anything to provoke the body.

Good eating habits have been implemented, a stand by on all athletic missions that may lead to further injury. Stretching is permissible and light weights have been dispatched in an effort to give each muscle group a sense that they are being listened to. What I am hoping to accomplish is some peace, an end to the conflict.

All of this has caused some exhaustion due to sleep irregularities, but I am confident this too shall pass. A peace agreement will be drawn up yet again, and I will hopefully obtain yet another seize fire. Fibromyalgia is an ongoing battle but I always manage to eventually get all sides to at least work together…until some symptom decides to crop up and spoil it.

Vegas! the lights, the hotels, the shows; just ignore the rest of its notorious history. “Prostitution, gambling, and anything else your heart desires, made to measure in Vegas baby!  Check out the brothels: The women are beautiful and they love what they do, (or else they wouldn’t be there) it’s a pleasure dome, bring your money!”

“81 percent of women working in the legal brothels of Nevada would like to escape it“, does that sound like women who like what they are doing? This information was based on research interviews of the women in legal brothels. (Go to nevadacoalition.org and the book Prostitution and Trafficking in Nevada: Making the Connections.)

More emphasis seems to be placed on the attraction to buying and selling women in some counties within the state of Nevada, then deterring the exploitation. Though it must be said that prostitution is not legal in the county in which Las Vegas resides, it certainly seems the reputation precludes the reality.

For those that work with women within the industry itself, there may be a different perception than the glitz and glamorous lifestyle one may be lead to believe exists. Many women victimized by the industry have indicated a need for safe passage out, that does not jeopardize their life or their family, along with retraining, education and psychological and/or addiction counselling. But why invest in that, when each county is receiving a hefty tax base from the selling of women’s bodies. On top of that, is the underground sex market. Vegas was declared a major center for the sex trafficking of minors, now that is a whole other can of worms.

“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas“. No, it does not. Thailand, Amsterdam, and many more destinations for sex tourism, circle our globe dealing in the same philosophy and misogyny. In fact here in Vancouver, sex trafficking and exploitation is also a problem and will become even more so in the time leading up to the 2010 Olympics. Prostitution is not legal in Vancouver, but along with it are the strip clubs, porn establishments and massage parlors, embedded just like any other large city. I guess the only difference between Vancouver and its known under-current of depravity is that Vegas advertises their sin city. I’m not sure that most of us are too happy about contributing to prostitution, exploitation and organized crime in our own neighbourhoods, but apparently for some it is nice to go partake in another community.

You see, I’m not interested in lining the pockets of people, towns or establishments that knowingly participate in the buying and selling of humans. A woman or child’s body is not for sale in my books, it is to be cherished in the same way I cherish mine. Whether you want to believe that the smiles and propaganda that is perpetuated is true, and that any human would “choose” to be three holes for penetration, or dance nude because they couldn’t dream of being anything else, is up to you. The girl or woman performing any act on the street, stage or screen is just as faceless; and those that pay, care not how she got there or what or whom is keeping her there.

I also refuse to not link what happens in areas such as Vegas, Bangkok, Amsterdam, Vancouver or any place in the world, to a growing profitable business of human trafficking. They are linked to this despicable act against human souls along with the social apathy and politics that keeps it prevalent. Unlike drugs, one human body can be sold over and over again, it is a resource that keeps on giving. Until it no longer is profitable, then it is expendable like any trash.

Sometimes it may be hard to tell that we are walking into an establishment that is linked to crime or profits from the sale of women or children. However, I think it is safe to assume that any place that offers a woman’s body for consumption, or any town or country that advertises itself as a destination for such, isn’t hiding who is buttering their bread.

Go green and leave your car at home! Such a great message and during the last weeks of snow you would have thought that is just the time to jump on the band wagon.

The problem is that, as I drove by in my Eco-friendly car I noticed the sidewalks leading up to the bus stops were completely covered in snow. Those pedestrians that were brave enough, or just willing to take their life in their hands, inched along the roadway while cars went by. On top of that, was the not so nice realization that even if I wanted to stand at the bus stop I couldn’t. The city plowed the snow two, to three feet high, and the walkways and bus stops were no exception. Knee deep mountains of the sludgy white stuff awaited any persons heroic steps to transit.

In our local paper a poor 80+ year old man recounted that after making his way to the bus stop, the bus driver did not see him. Realizing he was on his own, he decided to start walking. He fell flat on his back and remained undetected by passing motorist for some time before finally being seen by a family. They kindly drove him in their van, back to his home where he is recovering from his transit nightmare.  Thankful for the good Samaritans, not so warm feeling for the city crews, snow conditions and bus.

I really felt for that man and others who valiantly braved the cold, and used the transit we are all encouraged to embrace. I would consider using transit, but there are some draw backs, snow or no snow. I was aware of this while in the comfort of warm car, listening to my tunes.

First of all, I only needed to shovel my way from my back door to the car. Thankfully I didn’t have to worry whether my car would be there on time and it can’t drive away without me. Next, the hours spent circumnavigating the city to get from point A to point B always seems to be quicker in my car than by transit. In the time it takes some buses to get to a destination, I could have been there and back again.

Somehow, I am also not interested in taking Vancouver’s SkyTrain. This above ground system seems to have its share of below ground losers that congregate around to hassle riders. How many times last year did we hear of attacks on people, especially women. TransLink’s answer was to give women a pink whistle, that was less than encouraging for me. Their own security and safety video may have eased the mind of some, but the fact it has to be advertised may indicate a public relations intervention was required.

It certainly eased my mind (not) when in pointing out the silent alarm bar, the CEO Kelsey states “probably by the time you get to next station you will have a sky train attendant or police officer or some authority respond to check the car, to check that everyone seems OK”. That helps to know that “probably” somebody will be there. Once I’m off the train, walking to my next stop, well that is even more risky. Glad I have that pink whistle.

I’m sorry that my “Greenness”  does not extend to using transit. I like the comfort of my warm car, not the braving of the elements as I stand and wait at the transit stops. I can control the air in my car, which means body odor and harsh perfumes don’t permeate my senses. The music is soothing, the visuals are my choice and by God, if I so choose I can take another route if need be. Oh…the freedom! Insert the picture of my hair flowing in the wind as I stick my head out my side window, like a happy puppy.

When transit fulfills my core needs; safety, availability, friendly service, timely arrivals and departures, plenty of space so that I’m not in the armpit of Joe, the pillow for snoring Pete or the prey for a pervert, then maybe I will consider it. Until then, I will stay in my Eco-car, green enough with its gas consumption but bright orange as it makes it way down the street.

Slow out of the starting gate, I find myself in these first two weeks of January 2009 just a little tired. Xmas complete, new year arrived with just the right amount of fanfare, birthday came without feeling any different than the one before, but I’m sluggish.

The fact that I have no resolutions to kick start probably has something to do with that. Maybe I need to set some life or career goals? However, that requires deeper thought than I can muster right now, so lets skip that. How about if I begin a written journal, I bought that lovely journal several months ago and have yet to print a word in it. Oh…I don’t know then I would need to come up with something to say about my day, I’m not feeling that inclined.

I could read, I do have a few more books courtesy of the sales bin at the local library. Of course, then I would be sitting even more which could be accounting for the increased weight gain. Maybe more exercise? The two days at the gym last week nearly wiped me out, still feeling the pain. I guess I should get in there again though, I really hated trying on another pair of pants and finding they have shrunk???

You know what I will do, tonight I’m going to put in my Mary Tyler Moore DVD. If anyone can “turn the world on with her smile”, its Mary. Maybe she will inspire me to get moving, yup that is what I’m going to do, sit, laugh and be inspired.

Mary Tyler Moore Theme Song

Do you ever have something that keeps presenting itself to you and finally you decide to look at it closer? I have had that experience many times and now I’m going to open it up.

I have met a lot of people over the years, it has been an honor and a blessing to share in their lives. Some come with extensive experience and education, others moderate to little. Some from financial privilege, others from poverty. Interesting and profound stories told, lives so full sometimes I could barely take in anymore.

In the circle of business I have worked along side people with pretty impressive backgrounds, some wear that like a crown around their head, others don’t feel the need to advertise. There have been so many conversations that have inspired me and some that bore me to tears. I find that particularly so of people who have spent most of their time educating themselves and not enough time living beyond the books. When I have to listen to one more “academic” blow hard speak (those individuals that weave in their credentials no matter what the topic) I am reminded of a woman whose intelligence and inspiration impressed me more than any MA or PhD ever could.

She sat in my classroom, enrolled in a course for people who were going through a career transition, she had worked for most of her life as a caregiver. I will call her “Joy”. Now in her fifties Joy found herself no longer employed because the agency that she worked for had implemented a new standard of education and certification, a standard she did not meet. She loved her occupation and could not fathom what was happening so late in her life.

The manager that took over the agency/facility, came from a high academic background and made that quite clear to everyone. He felt that all staff should be at a higher level of education and all those that are not must be let go immediately.  Maybe this was necessary, but the way in which this manager handled this woman was not. Joy felt belittled, she was belittled through comments made by her superior, and her self worth plummeted. All of this transpired because despite Joy’s years of experience and a related certification, she had a grade four level education and what was being proposed for her upgrade was way beyond her abilities.

So, how did she get her certification in the first place? Well, she had a sister who helped her with the reading and study, her memory was excellent and most tests were completed verbally, some written. She knew her stuff, she just couldn’t read or write it fast enough.

You see this woman came from a rural community in Alberta, Canada. A large family meant that only the boys were educated, though her sister later went on to further education. Joy was relegated to helping at the home and caring for family members. This provided the back drop for her eventual career as an in home and care home support worker.

Over the three days I had Joy in my classroom her wonderful personality emerged. I also watched her struggle to complete exercises, but she carried on. Through breaks (I would have to make her take five minutes for herself), and after class, Joy would work on completing assignments and I would help her as much as I could. She didn’t give up, except one day when it was all too much. She cried for a moment and then we began to talk. The class had gone home for the day and it was her and I.

She told me about her job, caring for paraplegics and quadriplegics, seniors and so many other people with physical challenges. Her knowledge was incredible, the terminology she used impressive, she spoke with such deep connection to the profession and most notably her clients. I had been around others from this profession but none could tell me as eloquently as she could about the physical, medical, emotional needs associated with caring for individuals. There were plenty of profound statements about life and people to which I sat afterward and pondered. Joy was unique and wise.

Joy had heard all of her life that she was dumb, a phrase many have heard too. She came to know early on in life that her thirst for knowledge was not going to come through the traditional education system. A girl who someone decided did not need to be educated, became a woman who opened up to learning in ways few would understand.

I turned to her and looked her right in the eye and said “I just want you to know I am honored to have met you and I thank you for teaching me, you are one of the smartest people I have ever met, thank you.”

We gave each other a gift that day, what she gave me was magnificent. I meant what I said, she remains one of the smartest people I have met. Her nose wasn’t buried in books for years on end, she didn’t hide in the classrooms studying and pontificating to others. There is no letters after her last name, that she can fall back on to say “here is what I have accomplished, now I am a “scholar” an “academic”.

Joy is an example of someone who was built for life, she was compassionate, instinctive and hard working. She capitalized on her strengths and despite her learning challenges she rose above. Joy wasn’t one for labels though, so don’t bother analyzing what her disability was, she didn’t much care to look at herself that way. The only people who brought her down were the ones that thought they were so high up.

What has been presented to me time and time again, is too many people with a lot of credentials that are not that life smart. On the opposite end is so many people that were over looked, that if given the chance could have made for great employees despite their lack of credentials. What I also noticed is Joy spent the whole time talking about her clients and information poured from her with very little use of the word “I” or “my” . Maybe that is because she didn’t have to add in any mention of her thesis, course evaluations or review her CV with me. That was refreshing.