Archive for February, 2009
Happy Birthday Duchess
I would like to share with you a special but reflective day for me. Part of me realizes that some people may find it odd to celebrate the birthday for a life already lost, I do not. I gave this birth date, February 28th, to my dog Duchess because nobody knew exactly what month she was born but they did know with some certainty the year, 1991. She past away in late August 2007 and every day since I still think about her.
Losing your pet can be devastating especially in the beginning, the tears that flow burn your cheeks and you truly do not know what to do with yourself. After spending 15 years with my Duchess there was a routine established, conversation (she was a good listener:) and play. The care of her was always my focus, I built my life around her well-being and I was rewarded one hundred times over.
Today, would have been a day to awake as always with me cupping my hands around her fuzzy face and giving her a big smooch on the forehead. A little Happy Birthday would be the song of the day and she would love the attention. You would know she was enjoying herself not only by the hops and huffs, but she had a face that gave you expressions. She would let you know if she was enjoying her experience or not. Since this day appealed to her need to be the center of attention, the smile was obvious.
I was pretty strict on her diet because even when I first received her from the city pound, they explained that she was allergic to certain foods. Even the pound-keeper had bought her a different bag of food than the others to accommodate her specific needs. With all the accommodations and attention she received you now know why I gave her the royal name of Duchess. On her birthday though her diet included even more of her favourite treats, cheese and ice cream.
Receiving ice cream at any other time of year meant licking what was left in our bowls, or a little dab for her to chase around in hers. For many years though, birthday ice-cream meant a trip to Dairy Queen where I would order the baby size coned. The Drive-thru staff would love to see Duchess hanging out the back window with the excitement for her impending good fortune. I would hold on to the cone while she devoured it, it always amazed me that dogs must not get brain freeze.
This whole month I have been aware this day was coming, a day to celebrate her birth and life but I miss her love. A dogs love in unlike any other, it is the kind of love I do not believe humans can give to each other easily.
As many of you pet parents out there will know, they are our confidants and we can be sure in the knowledge that what was said remains between us two. No matter how bad our days become or the changes that come upon us, at our side is that precious soul. What you look like or dress like means nothing to them. They don’t seek out another, you are worthy of their love and devotion and they will protect you no matter what. To know them is to know unconditional love; they are yours and you theirs until the last breath.
Many times I dream about Duchess, we play and she hangs out with me in whatever I am doing in that dream. Sometimes I have to save her, sometimes she has to save me. I have had dreams where she comes up on my bed and lays at the foot of it and others where she is beside the bed staring at me like she used to do. I’m so happy when I get to hold her in my dreams, sometimes it was like I could really feel her and smell her. Amazing what the brain can do to conjure up those experiences. I am so thankful after all this time to still have those moments.
So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY PRECIOUS BABY BEAR! I LOVE YOU DUCHESS. Thank you still for your presence in my life, thank you for all the years you gave me, you are with me always.
Posted in 
Baby vs. Career Articles
Recently, I had the opportunity to speak to the issue of motherhood and careers. Caitlin Crawshaw who writes for the Edmonton Journal and Canwest, among other publications, tackled this issue in a series of articles published across Canada. (See links below)
No matter how many interviews I have done, I always find it hard. The questions arise: Am I going to quoted properly or edited to death? Is the message clear or convoluted? If they take my picture will I be having a good hair day?
In this case the articles were interesting, the quotes were good overall, the information valuable, but the pictures had me running to my hair stylist and taking a hard look in the mirror. The dreaded up-shot, big desk in front of my body, in one shot where I look more expansive through the middle I had to question whether I was pregnant, and what is up with the photo quality…my hair! Yes, I admit it, my vanity was awakened. This is running across Canada, it is on the net, there are people who haven’t seen me in ages who might open that page and do a double take. OH THE VANITY OF IT ALL!
My Mum called to let me know I was in the Vancouver Sun paper. Her partner, who has known me for almost thirty years, religiously perusing his paper every day flipped to the Working page and said, “hey there is a woman on here that looks sort of like Jennifer”. I said, “so how is the article?” She says “well the article is good, but your picture…well?” Not a good sign when your own mother has to temporarily forget the quality of the written word and give the impression something really bad has happened. Of course, it is eventually followed by the positive spin on the merits of the article itself.
This was a worthwhile piece to explore, the series and the information provided by various women and experts was important. I always feel privileged to participate in any discussion that results in all of our learning and provides well needed support to others.
I have also learned another valuable lesson; if it feels wrong, speak your mind. The lighting the was off, the up-shot is never flattering and I generally don’t stay behind my desk when speaking with my clients, I like to sit face to face whenever I can, I could have moved to the chairs. The photographer asked that I look up and pretend like I am talking to somebody, I’m bad at faking that stuff… face began to flush. I’m so bad at the pretending that I had to call in a colleague to help me pretend, I’m so thankful for Penny.
It is all in good fun that I write this side of my experience, and it is no way that I want to belittle the hard work of Caitlin and the articles. It was well worth it and lending my voice is a pleasure. I have taken the time to vent on behalf of my ego, and I was reassured with a story Caitlin provided of her own photo horror story. I love to find the humour and I have arrived there without exception. Check out the links to the series, I hope it helps women with their career and family aspirations.
Baby time or time to get ahead
Get ducks in a row before starting mat leave
Engineers Without Borders
I am posting this information for all of you . This message is from Heather and she is an Engineer in Bellingham, Washington. The following is in response to my Spirit of Giving post and she has provided more worthwhile organizations to be informed about. I encourage people to link to the sites provided and see if there is a way for you to aid in their success.
Hi Jennifer,
Here is the beginning of some information I promised to forward you about an awesome organization and project I am involved with that provides support and compassion to those less fortunate.
As you know, I am an active member of the Northwest Washington Chapter of Engineers Without Borders-USA (EWB-USA) located in Bellingham, Washington. EWB-USA is a non-profit humanitarian organization established to partner with developing communities worldwide in order to improve their quality of life.
Besides helping with chapter organization and fundraising (grants, sponsorships and fundraising events), I have jumped in with both feet to work more specifically with our Thailand Orphanage Project - which was accepted officially by EWB-USA just last week. Yay!!
On this project, our chapter will be working with Displaced Orphans International to design and construct a building for one of their orphanages so that they can become more self-sufficient. This building will allow them to produce their own soap and fertilizer, and will be used as a template to develop similar structures in future phases of this project for the other orphanages under DOI’s stewardship.
To learn more about DOI you can click on the following link: http://www.displacedorphans.com/about_displaced_orphans_international.php
In the next week or so I will have more specific information on this project that I can share with you in a second post.
Until then, our chapter contact information and opportunity to donate is at the following link: http://www.ewb-usa.com/chapters.php?ID=1061.
NOTE: The Thailand project is so new it is not currently listed on this site, however we hope to have it included in our project list within a few weeks. Until then, if anyone wishes to donate specifically to this project, you can contact Gary Fortenberry (gary.fortenberry@ch2m.com), our chapter’s president.
To find out more about our other project: the Ghana Clean Water Project, please follow these two links: http://www.ewb-usa.com/project_search.php?op=project&ID=486 and http://www.ewb-usa.com/project_search.php?op=phase&ID=586
Thank you for all your hard work to keep this site going, and in providing women everywhere with invaluable support and encouragement to help them realize their full potential. You are awesome!
Until next time…
Heather
Friday the 13th
Dating back many, many years the week leading up to Valentines day has always been associated with romance and appreciation for those we love. The inflated price on bouquets do not detour us, card sales are second only to Christmas and reservations for a dinner for two abound. There is something about that positive energy it can create, just a sense that no matter whether you are giving your pet a little cuddle, yourself a chocolate treat, your child a hug, or your mate a reminder how much you care, it all feels good. (especially when you get past the commercialism)
But not this time. Before our February 14th day of love, respect and appreciation could get out of the gate; in my neck of the woods we were treated to the ultimate in anti-romance, the opposite of good luck, the antithesis of positive energy and love, first it was My Bloody Valentine and then we got the opening of Friday the 13th, the movie! Did I ever say, how much I HATE horror movies, especially slasher flicks!
The trailer for Friday the 13th graced the television screen and discussions began on the blogs, I couldn’t help but read one post, I liked what one guy said about the slasher movies, and in particular his feeling about this one. “A big yawn, as everything is predictable and you know the babe’s who have sex will be offed, while others are getting off… on the violence.” That to me speaks to it all.
It is unfathomable to me why anyone needs to put those visions in their head, and especially why they would want to immerse themselves in such dark energy. It is not to hard to guess what would be the thing that stands out about the “babes” in this movie? Being that it panders mostly to adolescent males, I guess I have my answer.
Apparently, there were two other actresses who walked away from the roles due to the graphic nudity involved. Now if that is the case, we may have just heard from two young women with strong personal values, professional integrity and self respect. For the other twenty somethings that went looking for fame in this flick, exploitation was obviously not a turn off for them, dollar signs are enough. For those that watch it, they are immune to the demeaning language and the use and abuse of women. Who cares about that, it’s all in good fun.
Many years ago I saw Friday the 13th, the beginnings of Jason and his scary mask. Somehow I just couldn’t see why anyone would want to pay to be frightened, or watch the simulated sex and torture of victims. In fact the whole notion of watching movies about a part of society we would just as soon eliminate, “serial killers”, seems a bit odd to me. In some ways when these movies make their way into our theaters and TV screens it becomes a real eye opener into the warped psyche of a portion of society.
It is always disgusting to me, the gratuitous sex, nudity, gore and violence, especially as it relates to the female characters. This year I was given even more reason to put it in second place of my all time “hates“, due the insensitive but lucrative timing of its opening. What should I expect though from people like this. They are people who attach the word fun to the making of such films, laugh at suffering, revel in pain, and it takes more of that as time goes by to get a rise out of them.
I read a book that spoke to the issue of violence in our entertainment and media; and the “pain bodies” addicted to negativity and unhappiness who feed off of it. Here is an excerpt from Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth in which he writes, ” If you were not familiar with our contemporary civilization, if you had come here from another age or another planet, one of the things that would amaze you is that millions of people love and pay money to watch humans kill and inflict pain on each other and call it “entertainment”. Why do violent films attract such large audiences? There is an entire industry, a large part of which fuels the human addiction to unhappiness.” He goes on to say: “What is it in humans that loves to feel bad and calls it good? The pain-body, of course. A large part of the entertainment industry cater to it.” Finally he states: “Pain-bodies write and produce these films, and pain-bodies pay to watch them.” I like that he also included which I must condense…“If films show violence in in its wider context…then those films can fulfill a vital function in the awakening of humanity.” He clearly outlines if you choose to read the book what that wider context is.
Yes, I don’t have to go see Friday the 13th and other horror movies if I don’t like it, and I don’t. Somehow things like this infiltrate your environment anyway through people you know, discussion forums on a favourite site, passing conversation. We can’t live in a bubble.
Frankly though, now I have got my disdain for it’s presence off my “unexposed chest” I feel better…more love and light can surround me again. Sometimes you just have to write about something that bothers you so that it stops rewinding in the brain and this was one of those times.
A Midwife’s Spirit
“The Spirit of Giving” is certainly alive in the blog I have just been directed to, it is truly inspiring. Georgia Gilliland Macad is a Canadian who writes from Kalinga, Philippines. (See my blogroll for the link)
Georgia is a midwife who is using her expertise to support the women of Kalinga and surrounding areas by providing pre-natal, delivery and post-partum care. Health education, spiritual encouragement and mobile midwifery services is also a part of the care she provides.
This is what I noticed, see if you agree. Look at her face, her smile…does that not look like someone who is living a purposeful life. With all that she must see in a day, a week, month or year, and the stories that will come from this incredible journey. Truly amazing vision!
Again our contributions can be large our small to our world. Our help, humanity and compassion extending a few feet to the person in front of us or across this planet to a village in the Philippines. It does not matter how far your reach is, as long as you don’t stop reaching out.
