Archive for March, 2009

Time for a little life humour.

OK, I’m in IKEA returning an item and before embarking on my spending spree to redecorate my office, I hit the ladies washroom.

Busy place,  with only two stalls open I walk in and get my self…..well situated. On the left of me, a stall is already occupied and then a woman proceeds to enter the stall on my right. I can hear her speaking on her cell phone, surely she is going to hang up, right? No.

I can hear the faint sound of a male voice, she continues her conversation and then the inevitable. A flush! Loud and clear from the stall to my left, I follow up with my flush, even louder as it is within a foot or so of her cell phone. The guy on the other end of her phone, I believe, has clued in as I hear; “I’m in the bathroom…Oh, Ok, I’ll call you back”.

Now, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I would have hung up before I entered the washroom. Hasn’t cell phones already infiltrated too much of our public areas. We have adapted to people seemingly talking to themselves as they walk through the mall or chat while dining at the restaurant. We loathe the person who is driving, eating and talking on their cell phone, but come on!

Can we not sit on the toilet in a public restroom without having what we are doing ride the airwaves? Some public places need to remain cell phone free zones. Personally, I vote for restroom stalls.

NO CELL PHONES ALLOWED!                    All In Favour, Flush!!

As some of you know from a previous post I am a supporter of the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust in Kenya.

So, it is by no accident that I chose to feature a woman who I felt was important for you to know in my column Worldly Women. Wendie Wendt is based in the United States and works tirelessly to assist the Trust through fundraising. She volunteers, along with a group of other dedicated people, to support the Trust and it’s effort to help elephants.

Dame Daphne Sheldrick, whom you will also learn about in the interview is inspirational. She has been featured on 60 Minutes twice and I understand a third show may be in the future. We will have to see, but until then take some time to get to know this worthwhile organization.

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Have you ever felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole? Have you had times when you thought, “I must be speaking a foreign language because this person is just not understanding me.” Have you ever just wanted to throw up your hands and say “alright already I will conform to your ideal of who I should be” because it is so much easier than feeling like an alien on your own planet. Well I have, and it is only by the grace of friendship that I got through one of those days just fine.

I had such an interesting experience recently, whereby in one day three of my friends unknownst to each other, all sent powerful messages of friendship to me via email. One friend wrote powerful words celebrating our friendship, words so beautiful that I had tears rolling down my cheeks. One whose words in loving simplicity helped me feel good about “dancing to my own music” and the last friend sent inspired pictures and messages that let me know I was in her thoughts.  In one morning I was showered with reminders how much I value my friends, they truly love me for who I am. None of them knew the day I had been experiencing, but each of them changed it from a negative to a positive.

Valued friendships are cultivated, nurtured over time and we need those relationships. Trapped in our own self importance we provide little to those around us, but with the willingness to open our true self to others we just may gain a friend. My good fortune is that I have a few very great friends in my life and it is times when I am gasping for air that they provide the oxygen.

So, who are those people for you? Speak their name!

The person or person’s that never make you question who you are or why you think the way you do. The friends that hold your heart carefully and understand the moments in which they need to step up on your behalf. Talk to me about the friends that though time can pass and miles may separate you, the conversation picks up as if it never stopped.

For no other reason than possibly that our souls connect, can I explain a day where I was fully supported and made to feel special without seeing any of my dear friends physically in front of me. Friends are to be valued and I value each of mine deeply.

I want to update you on my niece Callie. She is back home now and doctors are determining what medication will address her seizures. She is getting back to normal, but the medication she is currently trying makes her a little sleepy.

This has not interfered however with her need to watch Sesame Street, we can all relate to that. No matter how sick we may be, or what medication we may be put on, nothing will get in the way of our favorite show. One eye could be half closing, head may start bobbing but this is Sesame Street…”I…must…stay….awake.”

Callie was playing again with a set of letters which she hands off to her Mum so as they can arrange words. Though this is helping her learn, the joy I’m sure is being home, surrounded by her things and just spending time with Mum. In April, she will be making her way to BC Children’s Hospital for check ups, the family will take this opportunity to visit and shower her with more love and gifts. Coincidentally, Callie’s original birth date was set for April, so while she is here we will break out the birthday gifts. What child wouldn’t love two birthdays a year?

I have bought her Sesame Street’s Elmo’s Sunny Days Building Set, it has lots of features that help in a child’s development. Beyond the educational merits, it was Elmo and Ernie that had me smiling and I won’t have to clean up the mess created.

I phoned my sister to get today’s update. While my sister tries to get a nap and Callie tries to fight nap time, I can’t help but think about all those mother’s out there who can’t remember the last time they did something just for themselves. Sleep a luxury, privacy long lost, manager of all things, feeling like they are mastering none. Parenting is an incredibly rewarding and challenging job; but is made even more so when you are a parent of a special needs child. Those parents are the true champions.

I would like to introduce you to my niece Callie. She is a special child who brings so much joy to anyone who meets her. Callie is five years old and looking mighty happy and healthy in this picture; but when she was born she only weighed 1lb 4.3 ounces.

She is a real tough little girl who spent nearly nine months in the hospital before she could go home. Since that time Callie has brought her bright beautiful energy out into the world, and has shown us that with all the courage and love that envelopes her, she is built for life!

This picture was taken in New York at the Ronald McDonald house, it was Halloween and she was dressed up as a fairy. You know, this little girl was going through a lot of specialized therapy for many weeks during her stay in New York, but if she was worn out that smile didn’t show it.

I’m proud of Callie. I’m proud of her parents, they are tireless in their efforts to make a good life for Callie and she could not be loved more. I am amazed by the contributions people and organizations have made; people who have touched this life through nursing, therapy, equipment and care. My sister works 24/7 to care for Callie, her husband works so hard as a provider and father, but still it takes a village to raise this beautiful child.

I had begun my day with the intent to write this post and in the midst of it was informed that Callie has been admitted to emergency with seizures and pneumonia. At this time, they are running various tests and she may be there a few days. I asked that you keep her in your thoughts and help this fairy fly free so she can take her little wand out and continue to touch many more people with her joy-filled spirit.

Today is International Women’s Day! Around the globe millions of women are recognized and honored. If there was ever a day that truly was worth celebrating, it is this one. For me it is right up there with Veterans day, where we are called to remember the men and women who sacrificed and served to protect freedom.

On March 19, 1911 men and women gathered at various events to mark this special day; they campaigned to address issues like women’s right to work, vote, and be trained, to hold public office and to end discrimination. Prior to and since 1911 millions of women and men rallied to recognize women’s contributions to society and to protect their rights as citizens of this world. Today, in approximately fifteen countries it is an official holiday; traditionally men bestow gifts and flowers to their mothers, wives, girlfriends, daughters, or colleagues.

Though many of us lead a relatively free and protected life, alas many others do not. Every year there are women around this world that die for their beliefs, fighting for their right to be educated, to control their own bodies, to be considered person’s under the law.  Women are in the cross fire of conflict and trafficked, female infanticide is still practiced and young women undergo custom imposed mutilation. If we were to add up all the women that die around this world every year for any of these reason, it would be in the millions.

All of the women today and throughout history that voiced their unpopular opinions and marched on our behalf should be held up high by our praise.  It has long been my opinion that we don’t honor these women enough, instead many take for granted all that was afforded to us through their efforts. We matter because they made it so!

Many of us can work in any profession we choose, receive an education, have the option to have children or not, and in some countries enjoy paid maternity and parental leave. We can aspire and obtain positions in public office, wear what we please and think what we think without retribution.  This, my friends, is due to the women of the world that dared! Men, women and essentially families are reaping the fruits of their labour.

I’m proud to be a woman, but I believe more work could be done to show us greater respect and esteem. I’m proud to call myself a feminist… yes, I am saying the “F Word”. The definition of feminist is “a woman or man who believes in the full social, economic, political equality of women and men.” Keep that in mind when you enjoy any of the aforementioned ideals in your personal life.

To the women that spoke and fought on our behalf, I salute you. To the women who have endured and broke free from violence, neglect, or exploitation, I salute you. To the mothers that bring us life and those that nurture their children despite daily hardships, I salute you. To the women whose unpopular voice was mocked or silenced, I salute you. To the women and men who celebrate this day, I salute you. To the women in my life, I salute you!

Rihanna abused by her boyfriend and many are stunned!

Here is my confession, up until this story broke I did not know who either Rihanna or Chris Brown were. What I do know is with “reported” stats indicating 1 and 4 women (and girls) have been victims of abuse, Rihanna’s case is not unique.  The truth is violence against women has been condoned throughout history, even as we live in the year 2009, it is firmly intact. Though awareness has grown about the problems we as a society face from its existence, and laws are enacted in most parts of the world, the fact is that abuse remains.

I have worked extensively with women who have been victims of sexual assault and partner assault. The victims of assault are from all social, economic and cultural backgrounds. Famous or not the cycle of abuse is very powerful, Rihanna is revolving around in it right now and people seem to want answers.

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OK, this will be a quick post that will surprise those closest to me and will mean little to those that are not. I have just made a beef stew.

The thought of spending any time in the kitchen is what has been humorously described as “my trauma”. It is not that I can’t cook, it is that I don’t like to. There are certain recipes that I am comfortable making but my expertise lies mainly with the eating and the clean up. My husband does the bulk of the cooking, he has the patience and he is really good at it. I believe it was born out of his necessity to eat quality meals and the stress he saw on my face when I attempted to play chef.

Today however, I managed to stay in the kitchen long enough to make my first beef stew. I definitely fall under the category of reluctant cook. I have tried desperately to keep any cooking knowledge I have under wraps for fear I may be asked to cook more. One time in conversation with friends I started to join in the discussion of the ingredients needed for a recipe, bad mistake. My husband looked so surprised…”how do you know this?” Oops, I have been found out… note to self, don’t show your cooking hand.

This may be the last time this month I will be inspired, I can’t run the risk of being perceived as interested. Hope it tastes good though, otherwise the time and this stupid apron will all be for not.

Today I was heading out to the gym but I was not focused on my workout, I was anticipating where I was going afterward. I was on a mission to purchase A Sparkle of Hope pin from the local Medicine Centre Pharmacy. For those that are in the dark as to what I’m speaking about, let me shed some light.

The Salvation Army has a campaign that is raising awareness and funds for the Human Trafficking epidemic in British Columbia. The funds raised will go to a worthwhile program that assists women and children who are victims of sex slavery. Poor laws, lack of understanding and protection, big money, consumers and apathy; all play their part in this global  problem. Currently, there are proposals to toughen the laws as Canada has a poor track record for prosecution and sentencing.

Quite awhile ago the campaign’s commercials aired on our local station, I was instantly attracted to the information and message. It was powerful, but unfortunately I don’t believe it ran long enough to really catch the eye of the general public. Hopefully they will run more ads in the future.

My day was made complete by my detour down the road to buy this pin for $10.00. I encourage you to go to the Salvation Army’s website for more information. Click on my Action page, scroll down to Human Trafficking. Please take the time to read about their efforts and view the link to The Truth Isn’t Sexy public service announcement.

I will wear my pin proudly. It is a small symbol of my solidarity with those that wish to crack down on the sale of humans for sex and show the victims there is HOPE.