Archive for May, 2009

One of my Mum’s garden favorites.

As a way to show my Mum how much I cared I decided to treat her to something different. My Mum spent the evening on Friday at the Johnny Mathis concert, I was happy to get the tickets for a singer she has admired for so many years. She was beaming and talking about it endlessly, I was so happy to see her feeling so good. It is hard to think of what to get someone who does so much, but even a big hug, flowers, words or card will help a Mum understand they are appreciated.

Motherhood is the most important job in the whole world. It is a role a woman takes on in which incredible physical, mental and emotional demands are placed on her. This role comes with great highs and lows, no pay, and little recognition until we get to this special day. This is our time to properly recognize and honor these women and they deserve it!

As a writer for TimeFinders Magazine’s Worldly Women I wanted in an upcoming issue to capture a little more about Mothers and our relationship with them.  Here is an excerpt from my column.

Mother Earth, Mothers of Invention, Mother Tongue. The word Mother, can describe many things that are symbols of firsts in our life and world. Mother Earth came first and from that came the introduction of all that it needed to sustain life. Mother Tongue is the first language a person speaks. Mothers of Invention are the women whose talents and ideas make them the first to fulfill a need not previously met.

Mother’s Love, Mother’s Song, Mother’s Wisdom. Mother, is often the first word spoken in its many forms; Mom, Mommy, Ma Ma. Nurturing flows from this word, as we reflect back that our mother was the first voice that welcomed us into the world, the first person we ran to when hurt, the first person to sing us a song and the instructor of the first lessons learned.

All life begins with a biological Mother but not all life solely remains or thrives with one, and that is why there are Step Mothers, Adoptive Mothers and Foster Mothers. There is also a Mother Figure who can fill the role needed for some to know great love, sacrifice and wisdom. It is in that spirit that I remain open to all of its definitions and uses, as the word and role of Mother is far greater than any of us can fully appreciate.

Today, at my hair salon, my stylist was talking about her latest dates. She is an intelligent, attractive, and well spoken woman of 27 years who has a pet peeve. Two different guys that she dated could not spell, not just common mistakes but really couldn’t spell. She said, she would get text messages (despite the already abbreviated language used) full of spelling mistakes. One of the guys had not graduated high school, which she didn’t find out until after going out for a bit. This could explain some of the problem but either way for her it is a turn off. I offered up that these guys may have had a learning disability but that is a mute and overused point, the real point was her pet peeve, they can’t spell.

Another person shared a story in which her daughter could not continue dating somebody because he had a lot to talk about when he was texting but not when they were in person. Given that she is a shy person herself she found it ironic that her conversations skills were better than his. She broke up with him, if he can’t talk in person what is the point. Her pet peeve, her date was speechless unless he was technologically hooked up.

I was reminded in hearing those stories what my pet peeve was back in my dating days, bad table manners. I could not stand a guy who didn’t know how to properly use his knife and fork. I mean, come on! A grown man should not be awkwardly clutching his fork like a four year old straight up in the air or holding his knife like some cave man carving the kill of the day. Even worse, was when they chewed with their mouth open. I couldn’t help but hear the slapping sound and notice the food rolling around inside of their mouth like clothes in a dryer.

We all have likes and dislikes and we are not perfect but real annoyances can keep you from having one more date, even if the guy is attractive in other ways. Who knows how are pet peeves come to be but they are probably a good thing to note. If you can’t live with it now, there is a good chance you are not going to be able to live with it for years to come.

I can’t help but laugh when I hear the stories of people’s pet peeves. We all get this look on our face and a strong voice that lets others know this is a non-negotiable item. I think I’m going to keep this one open, bring it up from time to time with people as I never learn the origin of the pet peeve but the stories that go along with it are great.

If you have a dating pet peeve now or in the past, feel free to share.

In November of 2007, Vancouver was hit with a fierce windstorm whereby thousands of homes were without power for days. Debris from trees and buildings were littering the streets and Stanley Park, a landmark in the city, sustained considerable damage to many areas within the park, including old growth trees and the sea wall.

As I lay in bed that morning I heard the wind hitting the house, I thought it would pass as it had done before but it did not. I then heard the sound of something breaking and a thunderous crash, I knew one of our 100 foot trees is down. I looked out the side window of the bedroom and saw branches extending and a tree resting on our neighbours solarium, or should I say the solarium and his gazebo were in pieces under the tree. I quickly ran downstairs to find that the tree had come from another neighbours yard, crashed through our fence, storage garage, along our deck, and its branches covered my car.

Had it have fallen a little further to the left it would have been in the room I was sleeping. To this day I’m thankful for the resting place it found itself in. However, the damage was done and more was still going on. While the fire crews assessed our safety the top of another tree fell in the front yard, hit the front gutter and the utility lines running to the house. A lovely, huge birds nest laid on the front lawn, some bird would eventually come back to find his/her home gone. I’m sure they rebuilt in the Spring.

The call was made to the insurance company, they responded quite well and over time the mess was cleaned up, and the necessary damage to our home was repaired. Just after that was complete, a second mishap occurred in which our water cooler for bottled water broke and unbeknownst to us leaked a full bottle of water underneath the laminate floor. Now in clear communication with our insurance company we were informed that this too can be covered and we will most likely just see an increase in our premium next year. Fair enough, I asked if we would be penalized and the answer seemed appropriate, we would have to pay a little extra upon renewal.

2008 we paid our house insurance like the good customers we have always been, but in 2009 we are now deemed too much of a risk, due to the “severity and frequency of the claims.” We received a letter stating that we were being let go from our BCAA Insurance company.

Here is my problem with this:

* After owning four homes I have never once needed to use any insurance company, but sure paid a lot over the years for the peace of mind.

* The lower mainland was hit with the worst storm and by no fault of our own we were placed in a position to have to use what we pay for, our insurance, to cover damage.

* We were never told by their representatives that by using insurance in the way we did that we may lose the ability to be covered in the future. Therefore, due to the lack of information we could not make an informed decision as to what our course of action should be.

* It does not make mention that you could be summarily dismissed in the contract and no agent by phone or in person makes that known either. This is clearly misrepresentation and poor service.

* The letter is in no way representing good customer service either, especially as we are customers that use multiple services of BCAA and deserve better.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? Well, apparently this is what can happen no matter what insurance company you use. It isn’t talked about, you won’t see it in the contract, but it is there. A little message that goes like this:

“If you use our service but haven’t had enough time to put an extensive contribution into the kitty, or you found yourself in a situation(s) that is “severe” enough to use us. We are going to say, good-bye…but thanks for contributing, it went to a good cause, our corporation.”

So, Home Owners Beware! You may find yourself as we did, penalized for actually using what you pay for. Don’t expect insurance to cover you if you really need it without some sort of backlash!

Have you ever woke up one morning and thought this is the same day I had a week ago.? No, wait a minute it was two weeks ago. No, let me think… actually I believe it was last month. In fact, it is a common scene that plays itself out so frequently that it becomes less and less distinguishable from one month to the next.

Do we all live like this? Do we get to a point in life when things become so predictable you have troubles even caring if it is the weekend or not?

When I was younger it was all about living for the weekend. What would I get myself into? Who would I see? Should I go out for the day or evening? Or stay home and work on some new little project? Camping was a favourite activity. Even a couple of days spent away from home was invigorating! It was all about the new scenery, exploration, different conversation, not having to beautify myself and eat stuff I wouldn’t normally eat.

Gathering together with friends was more frequent in the past too. These days it takes more time to organize as our schedules have just got more complicated. It is even harder for those with children, but somehow I also think it is just too easy for us all to fall down the rabbit hole.

I watch people go by my home jogging, cycling, walking and driving. When I am out at the beach I have observed people power boating, kayaking and sailing. I wonder if this is just today, or do they live for the next opportunity to experience something new, something adventurous? Do they get up on their days off from work and think “Wow! What a great day for….”

The fact that I can predict a large portion of my life right now, means it is truly time to mix it up a bit. Don’t get me wrong there are so many days when life seems very meaningful, joyous and interesting. I’m not talking about those days. I am referring to how easily life can become one of being a couch surfer and life observer rather than a participator.

I’m far too young to be staring out this window watching life pass by, the rabbit hole is too easy to spiral down in and frankly I miss the old me. I liked her. By the end of a weekend with her I had something to show for it. More pictures for the albums,  I learned how far I could push myself, I became a tourist in my own town and had a whole host of reasons to get out of bed.

I wonder how many people feel like they are trapped in the mundane? Maybe it is time to find out how people get from there to “Wow! What a great day for….”