Archive for June, 2009

Finally the day came when we brought our boat, our very first boat, to its new home. What an incredible day it was! The sun was shining and the wonderful couple who previously owned the boat came with us, showing us the ropes. I can’t even begin to say how lucky we felt to be having this experience but also to have enjoyed it with Rick and Deborah. We wish them all the best as they begin their search for the next boat that will no doubt be filled with the good energy and care they brought to this one.

We came down the coast in what started out to be rough waters and the anti-nausea medication quickly was introduced to my body. I spent the first leg of the trip laid out inside the cabin praying that it would stop! It would have been better for me to be up on the bridge but I was afraid of a horrible mishap that would see me with my head over the side. I felt it better to hold out down below just in case.

When I finally felt like I got my sea legs, appetite and colour back, I emerged to be reintroduced to the most incredible scenery. Wind flowing through my hair, the smell of the ocean. sea birds, beautiful coastline and the realization I live in the most beautiful place in the world. At one point I saw an eagle and at another point we were graced with a dolphin who swam by our boat! We all thought that was good omen and the vision as it rose out and back into the ocean remains in my head. Imagine, a dolphin, wild and free charting its own course in the same waters!

Of course, we will develop pictures of the day and I will share those soon. In the meantime I want to say this was an adventure I felt so priviledged to have. I couldn’t help but think of those that due to the economy  have had to give up their boats. Aware now of the feeling, companionship and oneness with nature there is no doubt that would be so hard. Beyond the boat itself is a community of people that would be missed too.

This new chapter in life was opened so nicely and I will never forget it. I have a photographic memory; snapshots of my husband realizing a dream, hugs exchanged, a card given to us after the boat was docked and graciously handed over. All of these photos placed in the album of my life… alive and smiling!

I just finished watching a program on CBC’s Doc Zone: The Dolphin Dealer. A feature on a man named Christopher Porter.

Anyone who knows me well, knows how much I love Dolphins. Yes, they make us love them because of the perception of being playful, happy creatures that are smiling, but beyond that is their intelligence. Extremely good hunters in the wild, highly communicative, we are quick to understand there is far more to these animals than little tricks they are trained to do in the aquariums.

Christopher Porter was apparently a past employee of the Vancouver Aquarium but went on to the business of capturing, trafficking and profiting from the sale of dolphins. He found a great place to carry out his ventures in the Solomon Islands. Dolphins plentiful, killed by the indigenous people for various reasons some for subsistence, some not. Mr. Porter may have hit the jackpot. A place where buying off the government is not unheard of, the people he employed willing to do whatever he wished in order to profit and operations are so far away from the glare of media many of us would never know he or it existed.

Here is an interesting note: Christopher Porter lives (when not in the Solomons) in Victoria, British Columbia. Yes, he has a wife and children who according to the broadcast live here while he works down there. I wonder if they had bought into the line of BS the way others did that Mr. Porter was off caring for dolphins?

Now, in fairness and to protect my *** the same way Mr. Porter would…he is only allegedly Bull Ssing people and in no way has been found guilty of any crimes associated with the business of wild animal sales. However, as a general citizen I have the right to say how disgusted I was to see what he does for a living. There is a strong possibility (documented by several leaders in dolphin/marine animal welfare) that many dolphins died in his charge and that he left them instead of caring or releasing them when there were some questions as to whether he would still be aloud to do business. In this story you saw dolphins who appeared to be starving and that was very upsetting, for someone who cares for animals as he professes I ask, “Why, did you abandon them?”

Here is my confession: I swam with the dolphins many years ago in Cozumel. A place that was recommended to me as a more humane outfit in which there was vast amounts of ocean between us and the dolphins and they may or may not come to us. Now, I look back at this and say “God, I hope I was not a duped tourist and that any of these dolphins were part of this type of capture. Over the years, as I have become more informed I have made my stand against wild animals being in captivity, unless for rehabilitation and release programs. I do not go to the Vancouver Aquarium or the Zoo’s for that same reason. If I need to learn about the dolphins I will do it through other means.

You will never catch me at a circus and having wild animals do things just to make us laugh and clap is nothing short of cruelty in my mind. So, after watching this program I felt incredibly sad for the slaughter depicted and alleged wrongful death of these animals. I was purely disgusted by the involvement of a fellow British Columbian and thankful for all of those that were shown to be working tirelessly to shut down Mr. Porters trafficking business.

Mr. Porter’s ego looked too big and his lust for the almighty dollar too great to expect any change of heart on his part. Hopefully by becoming informed, all of you out there (and I) that may think it is cute to watch or swim with the dolphins will think harder and ask the question “Where did these dolphins come from?”  Here is part of the answer: From the wild ocean, surrounded by its family and the food it hunts to survive, not to be hand fed or born just to please humans.

If you want to know about any animal read a book or watch the Planet Earth series, gain insight from people who study them in their natural habitat and report back. That approach means people like Mr. Porter will have to find another way to grow his bank account. I have a few suggestions for him which I will be happy to provide as a career consultant…my fee per suggestion is upwards of $25,000 Mr. Porter. A number I’m sure you know really well.

Coalition Open Letter

Michael Jackson has past away and so has Farrah Fawcett, two icons dead.

Farrah Fawcett who had been battling cancer for some time now, had recently allowed the public a more intimate look at her life with cancer in a documentary. Her claims to fame were starring in Charlies Angels and the infamous swimsuit poster but also appeared in various films. One in particular that stood out for me was the The Burning Bed (1984), a comeback for the actor. I remember being astounded by the transformation and the depth of character that was shown for her role. The so called “pin-up” really could act.

I’m glad that she let people see her in these last months, as it brings home the strength it takes to battle cancer but also that she is more than image. Farrah was a WOMAN.

Then on the same day, we are faced with the death of Michael Jackson due to an apparent heart attack. As controversial as his life has been he was a man, an artist and incredibly gifted individual. He leaves a legacy that will go down in history and will be as timeless as the likes of Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe and James Dean. Each of their lives had tragic elements to them but nobody can dispute their contribution to our culture.

I, have more admiration for Michael Jackson (than the Elvis, Monroe years) because his music was a part of my lifetime, growing up in the Jackson age there are plenty of memories. Watching Michael and his brothers on TV, following his solo career and who can forget when we first had Much Music/MTV. There weren’t a lot of videos at first but as time past many musical artists started to hit the screen. Well….it blew me away and millions of others to watch Michael’s Thriller video, MY GOD! No matter how many times I watch it, I still get goosebumps from the singing, music, dance, story, costuming. Fabulous!

Michael never did anything halfway and despite how others cruelly mocked this man and made many an accusation, I remain convinced that he was one of the most talented entertainers of “our” time. Each generation has somebody to look back on and say “they were all the rage”, “he/she was the best…” well, Michael Jackson will go down in history accordingly and so he should.

Two celebrities, icons of our popular culture, passed away and this will be a time of mourning for many devoted fans. Collectively it is good to give thanks for all stars, famous or not, that brighten our life.

Thriller Video

Recently, I asked women to answer the following questions:

What does empowerment mean to you? Do you agree that women are more empowered and in what ways? Is there anything in today’s society that would make you think women are less empowered and if so what is it?

Well, did I get some great answers! Women from the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom had something to say about empowerment. Condensing it became a challenge, as there was great wisdom and such interesting perspectives. So, go to my column at TimeFinders Online Magazine – Worldly Women and see for yourself.

TimeFinders Magazine

On June 17th a woman and her 3 year old daughter were out picking berries when they were attacked by a cougar. The mother manage to pull the cougar off her child and get to safety. The cute little girl who is doing fine now, thankfully, apparently couldn’t understand why the “big kitty, didn’t want to play nice.”

Though, I appreciate the heroics of her mother, the saving of her beautiful daughter’s life and the innocent statement of the child, here is my rant on this.

Conservations officers have gone and shot the cougar they think is the one who attacked this girl. However, they are not sure until after they get DNA results. Due to a rash of other attacks conservations officers have been out tracking other cougars and shooting them too. Apparently, we don’t have relocation services anymore.

If I have it right these people live in the Brackendale neighbourhood of Squamish, which boasts about its natural habitat and diverse species of birds and wildlife. Squamish and the surrounding areas have seen a lot of development over the years and road construction, which I’m sure has affected all inhabitants. The camping, the hiking, the bird watching and the ability to build your home right in the middle of all this habitat means humans are living and playing amongst the animals.

I don’t feel sorry for people who wish to live in nature and then complain when it comes into their space. If I go out to camp, I assume I may be crossing the path of wildlife that has been living and raising its young in that area.

Also, I have little sympathy for people who want the picturesque view and don’t mind tearing off a strip of a mountain to get it. These are the same people who decide “hey, it’s a nice day to go for a walk on the man made walking trails and pick berries right in my backyard.” What bothers me most, is they have the audacity to complain about animals living in this natural, diverse world they bought into. Where did you think the wildlife would go?

Most animals and birds have a range, they can’t go higher because their food source may not be there. They can’t go lower because for the most part we have already destroyed that. They have dens and trees in which they have raised generations of their species. Of course, those dens, trees and ranges are shrinking rapidly or no longer exist.

One of the cougars shot, was emancipated. Why? One may have been young and was just learning to hunt. Oops…bad mistake to try hunting where humans have taken over. I’m sick of these stories about people who come in contact with wildlife and then we kill them.

I have said this before and I will say this again. If I’m ever out and get mulled by a bear or attacked by a cougar don’t bother to tell them where I was, it was my fault for being stupid, unprotected and unaware of my surroundings.

The “big kitty” doesn’t want to play because he has to probably take a lot more risk and time in order to feed himself, thanks to human encroachment. Like it or not that is my say….no sympathy!!

Out in our front garden, enjoying the sun setting while watering our garden, I happened to look up into one of our trees. Lazily taking a break from what must have been a busy day were two squirrels on the same branch. You know, I have to say I haven’t seen two squirrels hanging out together but with the backdrop of the evening sun it really felt like a privilege.

Then it dawned on me that this may be the same squirrels who ate my geranium, chomped down nearly to its roots. The one who didn’t take out the geranium in the pot on the ground but instead was caught red handed in my stand located outside my back door. Evidence was first seen soon after planting, something had attacked the plant with a stem laying on the ground and several petals decorating the deck. It was not a few days later when the final chomps were taken and the bandit was revealed.

It is my guess that the squirrels resting in our tree this evening had a long hard day, foraging, burying, delighting and disturbing others in the neighbourhood. I also gave it a thought they maybe had just been mating and therefore were just plain tuckered out, but I won’t go there. Instead I will just feel good that at the end of a beautiful day like today we could catch a rare glimpse of squirrels doing nothing at all. High above us, hanging out, resting before starting out on another day of adventure.

Continuing where I left off on the Boating for Two Dummies story, we may have found the one for us. I can tell you it is a very good idea, if you are first time boaters, to take the time necessary to find the right one. There is so much to learn and the more boats we saw the better we became at asking the questions and doing our own visual inspection.

We did manage to secure a slip at a Marina which in itself can be quite the hassle as many marina’s have waiting lists in Vancouver and surrounding areas. At one point we wondered if we would just be setting up  deck chairs with drink in hand staring at our newly rented slip and no boat.

What was nice about looking at boats in Marina’s and privately, was how friendly the people are. This appears to be a whole other world where people still acknowledge each other as they walk past, get to know their neighbours and extend invitations to upcoming events. We were invited to join clubs as soon as we get a boat and to me it looked like the party had already started. This friendly atmosphere is in stark contrast to the daily existence within our own neighbourhoods. I like it!

We met a very nice couple this past weekend and truly enjoyed seeing just how much care and pride they had in their boat. Sure they are now looking to move on up to accommodate grown kids and grand-kids, but still this boat appeared to hold a special place in their hearts. What I also enjoyed was sitting and talking, we had a very interesting conversation that I won’t soon forget. Pleasant surprises made it worth the ferry ride and 45 minute drive to get to their cabin.

I highly recommend this hobby or lifestyle depending on how you look at it. I haven’t even got started and I am excited for the future. My husband has discovered that he loves looking at boats and could have continued inspecting more if it weren’t for that “NEED TO MAKE A DECISION BEFORE THE SUMMER IS GONE, DEAR!”

So here is hoping that this is “the one”  and that it will turn out well with the final survey. We both can’t wait to be setting sail for one of the many beautiful locations that adorn our west coast, or just hang out at our slip, either way its “Cheers…to new adventures.”

The battle over censorship in our outer world rages on. Although, one could argue much of what would have been high on the list of censored material or speech is becoming less and less of an issue. The anything goes, over exposed, live for yourself society of today, imposes little in the way of boundaries one cannot cross.

Censorship from within, however, is still prevalent. We consciously monitor what we are wanting to say in close relationships or those of professional significance. In examining our social circles we can often find ourselves taking more time to evaluate whether what we are intending to communicate will be objectionable or misinterpreted. After all, these people will be around us more and some can be ultra sensitive on certain topics. So, rather than be completely free to openly express a thought we are forced to scrutinize so much of what we say before it ever leaves our lips.

It can be exhausting and quite disingenuous. How can we be having an honest, sincere discussion, if before we speak our true thoughts go through a last second filtering system? Censorship from within is something we have all learned to do to some degree or another but to me it feels as if a part of self is truly being stifled, not usually for civility sake.

Women traditionally were schooled in the ways of making others feel important (mainly men) in conversation. To be good little listener’s and not be overly knowledgeable so as to turn off a potential “suitor.” Today’s women don’t worry about that so much, but I wouldn’t say that there isn’t still some of that old school thinking interlaced with our social makeup. Many times I have overheard conversation with women, who I know have the capacity to add more, but appear to be holding back. I too, have found myself in similar situations and again come away angry for my lack of truly honoring myself and in some ways the other person(s).

Censorship from within keeps us at arms length. How can anyone truly know us if only a small portion of our story is being told? Do we truly get a chance to fully express ourselves? Does it become a train wreck or a non-conversation because of our verbal constipation? Stuck inside of us is a whole lot to say, but all that comes out is what is considered acceptable to the audience in front of us.

This is what separates us from true friendship, where freedom of expression is truly honored and trusted as opposed to the confines of a previously labeled existence in the eyes of another. Censorship for the sake of etiquette and civility I can live with. Censorship because we will be chastised or deemed unsuitable, I can not endorse. Living with verbal constipation is not a healthy existence…all that pent up dialogue could have you conversing solely with the voices in your head. Better and less critical listeners, I would guess, but I fail to see how anyone on the outside wins.

Though there are always those grumpy pants walking about that complained about the winter cold, the downpour of rains and now the heat wave, all I see is sunshine and happy faces. We are experiencing the beauty associated with summer and I say drink it up.

Today I put on a summer dress and shoes, got in my sun loving car and made my way first to a friends house. She was repainting her living room/dining space and we had a great visit as always. We mix our conversations up with a full cup of humor, a pound of life experience, several dashes of laughter, a sprinkling of philosophy and spoonful of spirituality. The spirituality is not in the traditional sense, but more a sacred connection and thirst for knowledge she and I enjoy exploring. We chat about her exceptional daughter and share jokes about our significant others. Oh come on, if you can’t laugh about them…

Then I went on to meet up with two fabulous women who are wedding planners/managers. I tell you just being in the same space with them is a treat. I will keep their names out of this but I’m working on having them speak about their unique job and expertise in the future. I was saying ” I don’t know why anyone would not hire a wedding manager?” A little money in that direction can go a long way towards peace of mind and enjoyment of the day. I will save all my praise for this service for another time when I hopefully introduce them to each of you. I’m in good hands for, yes..”my” upcoming wedding.

Our meeting over cold drinks on a hot day, hearkens back to what I was saying in another post about being pleasantly surprised when we meet new people.  One of these ladies I had met once before; it was very natural and so uplifting to walk into Starbucks and begin to speak with each other effortlessly.

There are good days filled with sunshine and happy faces and this was one of them. I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m thankful for every piece of music that accompanied my driving, the warm hugs, the stimulating/fun conversation and the best of the best to share in my day.

I had an email from Heather who wrote the following based on an earlier post:

“I’d love to hear more specifically how different women influenced your life and what you learned from the encounters…perhaps no names, or even as a “fictional” story. I always love hearing how events/people can intertwine and can take a whole new direction. Great story.”

Thank you for asking.

I had a unique circumstance growing up, three generations of women together. My older sister who was many years my senior gave me the ’60′s/’70 “feminist” perspective. I learned early on the names of women present and past who paved the way for some of what I would enjoy in life. Also, an appreciation for animals/nature and took on the role of explaining the physical side of being a woman….a topic my mother was too embarrassed to discuss. ( with the exception of what her mother provided her which was “all men are tarred with the same feather”…not too encouraging)

My mother, British through and through influenced the feminine side. How to dress, how to sit, how to speak, how to conduct yourself in public, how to order good food/wine and how to always feel comfortable no matter where I may be in this world.

My professional mentor was a woman named Pat, I believe I have mentioned her before as we worked with the RCMP’s Victim Services Unit. Never was I more able to tap into my true self as she trained and utilize my skills to their utmost ability. I realized my innate gifts including “to walk in other peoples moccasins” and used my intuition. Through that woman I learned a work ethic and the power I had when I walked in a room. I never forget her mentioning that to me…”when you walk in a room people notice, use that.” I gave back to my community with my heart and soul in every hour of work and it was due to her generous, purely crazy and fun spirit. To this day she is inspiring to speak to especially when we revisit or debate crime, victimization and justice. She is a “s___ disturber”, professional and refuses to grow old… hence the little jig I caught her doing one day while visiting our home. Cool woman!

I have a great group of women friends who remind me constantly how lucky I am. They make me think twice when I should, keep me grounded when I’m flying off the handle, inspire me to be more creative and stroke my ego way too much! Our paths usually crossed via someone else or through work, each of them shaped my past and continue to plot along with me into the future. I’d share all the stories but it would become a book, where the names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.

There have been many women (and male) clients who I look back on fondly. These women reminded me how courageous we all are in the face of danger. I have had clients who literally had weapons pointed at their heads on numerous occasions, their lives mapped out for them by a violent and jealous partner. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes I would watch as they valiantly worked with me on a plan to change their life and then executed it.

Women who have come from other countries amidst things you and I could not imagine. Diligently learning the language in the hopes Canada was going to be a good place for them and their children. I recall sitting on the floor with my Conversational English class. In a discussion, one young Vietnamese women brought up about death and what do we each think will happen when we die? Profound thoughts flowed from each student and I was humbled and honored to participate.

Women who had worked in the sex trade and were finally free from abuse, bondage and addiction; sharing their stories and hopes for their future. A little rough around the edges from their experiences but none the less excited to know they were more than the parts that had been exploited for so long.

Those examples of clients took me further into the area of working with women, somehow I always felt a woman’s life is so deep and rich. So much happens to and through women that my life/career path was made in their image. Most of the incredible and profound moments in my life came as I sat with these women.

Many people who have influenced the way I think, what I value, my belief system, my humor, my work, my friendships and partnerships. So many women who I will never be able to properly thank, but I know my heart is full and my soul will live on with their gifts.