Archive for November, 2009

The complaint department is now open! Those who are sensitive to people who are advocates for complaining need not read on.

Have you ever recognized how much we all complain? Recently, I read an article that was touching on the very topic of complaining it was entitled The Kvetch Klatch by Amy Baskin in the November issue of Canada’s More Magazine. It explored the possibility that as we get older we may complain more and want to gather with others to commiserate.

There was some good news about our getting together to air our complaints, apparently it can be good for you to complain with people of like age and life situations according to Robin Kowalski, a psychologist who studies complaining (who knew you could study it and be paid?). “We feel validated, get good advice” and socially it brings people together. (Providing, I guess, you have something better to talk about from time to time otherwise you may just clear a room) There is more to this but I’m not going to rehash everything this woman wrote, I suggest you read the article for yourself.

Last night, again watching my Andy Rooney segment on 60 Minutes, he addressed viewers that accused him of being negative, complaining too much, that is part of his job isn’t it? He proceeded with a great little piece in which he positively enhanced negatives. Maybe that helped all those that felt he complains too much sleep a little easier, though I doubt it. After watching I’m sure they were complaining about his negativity.

I come from a long line of complainers, it is guaranteed that a conversation with my family will get bogged down in complaints and negativity. At times I interject when it is getting too much with something lighter, a humorous quip or just simply tune out the bulk of what is being said. That is not always good when you are to respond, and well…I kinda wasn’t listening. A good laugh eventually is had but still the negativity and complaints are really some of my family members claim to fame. Maybe they should have their own show, but make it 30 Minutes, less commercials which really makes it the 10 Minute show. (but, whose complaining, certainly not me)

When I complain I don’t expect anyone to fix it, it’s not necessary to fix my problem just to air it. Being truthful in the moment, complaining to my hearts content is therapeutic. It is true that going to people of like mind or understanding is far more helpful. My friends and I have the ability to complain for over an hour on the phone or in person and think nothing of it by the time we are finished. A few laughs, compassion, understanding, thoughtful suggestions, no overpowering judgement and good advice usually lightens the load.

I liken complaints, when discussed with others, as something that needs gentle pressure. Kind of like when you have a knot in the muscle and you just hold your fingers on that tension, pushing with just a little firmness makes it back off. You are released! I see this all the time in my work, people who for the most part have legitimate reasons to complain but just being heard opens the space for movement in the right direction.

It is good to complain, not all the time, but just enough to make forward progress on an issue. Some people are great at it and their complaining can be quite entertaining, providing real food for thought. If someone is an energy drainer than take in as much as you can with your ears and don’t expect to fix it with your mouth. Go to someone in your life or a group of people that can truly see it for what it is, and don’t think you are above this because there is always a reason to complain…just ask Andy Rooney.

Andy Rooney Not Negative

It was Monday today but already I’m tired. As I look towards the coming week I see a “to do” list getting larger and not a lot of mental rest. Whenever that comes about I try to remind myself that it will all get done and I will be the better for making my way through it.

The problem occurs when I wear too many hats in one day, you’ve heard me speak of this before. Today, I worked in the office for half a day, handled calls to determine whether we qualify for a grant due to the untimely demise and replacement of our furnace…happening this week. Confirmed tomorrows crew would be arriving bright and early, moved home office items out of the way to accommodate the new furnace construction which includes cutting a whole in the floor as the furnace is under the house. General clean up, including vacuuming, washed sinks, made bed, two loads of laundry, called my mother to wish a happy birthday (had dinner with her last night to celebrate) set up tonight’s meal, did the dishes, managed to fit in a 30 minute workout and now blogged.

I have substantial amount of homework to do for a course I’m taking which when I saw what this weeks requirements were I felt my face flush. With each thing I switch hats quickly and at the end of the day it doesn’t surprise me that my mind won’t shut off. This is the life I and many others lead  and I don’t see that changing. My time has been managed with lists and great expectations but life isn’t like that. There is always the unforeseeable that has you switching in mid stride. It occurs to me often, “What would it all look like if a camera followed us around, would we look like lab rats in a maze?”

The only time, like many people I’m sure, that I can feel completely relaxed is when I am on a beach somewhere in the tropics…ahhhh…I just took a breath and pictured myself there. Oh, that was just what the doctor ordered, a minute in the surf and sun. Maybe tomorrow I will break out my tanning lotion put it on, just to smell it and dream a little more while wearing my sun hat. That’s a hat I like to wear.

Somewhere tonight the sun sets with a palm tree doing its dance in the wind and I am there in spirit. Cheers.

This morning there was a comment for my blog (re: Sesame Street turns 40) which somehow disappeared when I went to open it. I believe I know who the sender was but can not respond directly due to the missing contact information. Please feel free to send it again.

If you don’t see your comment up where it should be or I have not responded to your comment privately or on site, please email me directly. My contact info is on my sites. I endeavour to get back to anyone who comments, though I have noticed some recently in cue, I will correct that.

Thank you all for reading this blog, it is a real pleasure to get your comments!!

Welcome Message from Nicole Kidman

UNIFEM – United Nations Development Fund for Women, has launched a worldwide campaign aimed at getting men and women to take action to end violence against women. I was introduced to this organization quite awhile ago and have supported and followed their efforts ever since. Those of us with blogs and sites were asked to use this medium to promote their latest campaign and I did not hesitate to sign on.

UNIFEM is dedicated to the advancement of women and providing financial and technical assistance to programs that support women worldwide. There are many partnerships involved to make this happen; from the local grass routes to various high level organizations, participants and governments, who are taking on a  loftier goal of ending violence against women. Foreign Ministers and Prime Ministers have added their names to the cause but we all know that is not enough.

We the public have to be the change we want to see. In large and small ways we can make a difference and I encourage you to add your name to this campaign and offer assistance in anyway you can. It will be easy to read this and pass over the opportunity to participate, I know, but I want you to consider a different course of action.

Raising money for UNIFEM is a real action and so is going to the link and signing petitions. Whatever you choose to do it can only help.

TAKE ACTION

After my disappointing search for Jeans one day, I was not deterred. I went out to my favourite consignment store in White Rock and tried another pair of designer jeans on for size. They fit! Not only in waist size but length too. A comfortable, but stylish black top with a little flare for the casual  evening out, complimented the jeans.

It is always good to have a positive shopping experience and more often than not, I find that in consignment stores. We have four in the White Rock area and each offer a good selection of gently worn clothes and shoes. Take II Consignment is one of my favourites;  the owner is particular about the clothes that are consigned, you rarely look at a piece and think “This has been worn before.” Also, she makes it a joy to shop there, very welcoming.

Read the rest of this entry »

Battle of the Blades, a new and very entertaining show, came to a close this evening with the final results in from voting Canadians. As with anything like this we all have our opinions as to who was deserving of the win. I, for one, changed my mind three times over the course of the show and in the end voted for Claude Lemieux and Shae-Lynn Bourne. It was a tough decision but I felt they were consistent and technically superior.

However, Stephane Richer and Marie-France Dubreuil had my vote and heart for quite awhile. I loved the two of them together and couldn’t believe the elegance and skating chemistry they both had. Craig Simpson and Jamie Sale (the winners) really pulled out all the stops in their last performance and well, maybe too he holds a little more in the popularity contest but they did excellent! That is what made this a good show, it was hard to pick a winner right up until the last day.

I do hope this gets picked up for a second season, CBC has a hit in this. So, all you NHL players take a look at what these guys accomplished for themselves and for charity. Leave the egos behind and switch the skates. It is time to bring both of the superior athletes of figure skating and hockey into the limelight in whole new way. Good on each of the pairs for participating! Let us not forget the charities they are contributing to, maybe pick one and send a donation in honor of your favourite pair!

Battle of the Blades

OK, I am about to upset those individual cat lovers out there that don’t mind their prized pet disturbing neighbours.

I’m seriously considering trapping a cat and sending him or her on their merry way to the S.P.C.A. After finding bird feathers yet again scattered about, I have now lost my patience. One of my great pleasure is feeding and observing the various species of birds that visit our feeder. Due to the winter, they are feeding quite regularly and I love it!

What I don’t love is the same black cat coming into my yard over several months stalking and killing birds. I have tried  yelling, spraying with water and even chasing it off the property but still it returns. So, after great consideration I asked the S.P.C.A what can be done and it was brought to my attention that I am free to set a live trap and transport it to them.

After this mornings discovery I am all for it. I’m not a cat lover, though I did fall in love with two very special cats my friends Lijana and Helen both once had, cats that were the exception. I’m allergic to them too which also adds reasons for them to stay clear. Most cats are unsociable, little home destroyers who are perfect for pet owners who are not into too much parenting. I have never understood the draw to something that can take or leave you, as long as it has a cuddle when it wants, feed and area to relieve itself its pretty much satisfied. (My mother would refer to that as being very similar to a man.)

Having said that, many of my dearest friends get quite a lot of enjoyment from their companions and so it is all a matter of perspective. With some modifications again to the location of the feeder and a nice little trap I intend to employ my last ditch attempt to get rid of this pesky critter. His days are numbered on this property; “You have come to the wrong house buddy!”

As the winter sets in, I feel more inclined to get into the jeans, boots and cute sweater look but lately I have been faced with the unthinkable, NOTHING FITS!

Now, I’m petite to begin with, but still, not being able to wear my favourite jeans or pants is just unfair. They sit there folded up nicely on the shelf, beckoning me, I try them on and what is this? They have shrunk! Now I know we bought a new washer and dryer last year and it is high efficiency in every way, so maybe it is doing something to the fabrics. It can’t possibly be that I have put on any extra weight, could it?

So, off I go to the store to try to find some replacements until my favourites fit me again, I’m sure its all been a misunderstanding and we will be zipped together again soon. The first pair of pants I tried on are way too long and a little snug, sitting down is possible if I don’t mind cutting off circulation to a few key areas. Second pair fit well enough but my butt just doesn’t look like it should, it should be perkier. Three pairs of jeans later and I swear the sizes have jumped up and down, its that USA, UK, Canada size battle, nobody can come to an agreement on a real size, throw in Italy and its a mess. Many of the waistbands are cut so low in the back I know one bend to put my nice boots on and I will be flashing someone the plumbers smile.

For the first time ever I am having troubles finding the perfect pair of jeans. I don’t want my sides spilling out or my pockets closer to the back of my legs instead of functionally riding higher.  I mean, what if combs in the pocket come back in style, placement people, placement! It shouldn’t be this hard to find the pant or jean of my dreams. Instead, I’m in the change room with hangers everywhere thinking ” It could be worse Jennifer at least its not bathing suit season.” AHHHH!

If I find the perfect pair of pants or jeans I will share with anyone who will listen, if anyone has found the jean of their dreams let me know. Until then I will go forth on my quest, wish me luck… until we zip again!

Happy Birthday Sesame Street!!

Watching Sesame Street has been the highlight of many kids day; tuning into watch their favourite characters while singing and learning.

I’m about to date myself way back, but approximately 1969 to mid 1970’s was when I visited the Sesame Street neighbourhood. I really loved Kermit he was rational, peaceful and I thought of him as the small father figure of the Sesame Street family. Big Bird kinda scared me, not horribly, it was just he was towering over everyone. Oscar the Grouch would pop out of the garbage can and remind me of a grouchy old man, sort of like my grandad when I misbehaved or like a grumpy neighbour. I could deal with Oscar. Ernie and Bert were funny, I think I remember an episode where they switched noses, that was weird. In looking back at my grade school pictures some boys were wearing very similar shirts as Ernie and Bert. Ha! Ha!

What I remember most, was all the different kinds of people. Not only real people like Bob McGrath, Hal Miller who played Gordon and Loretta Long who played Susan, but also the puppets. My perception was that the puppets were people too. They talked differently and were all colours but each was friendly and welcoming, I wanted to live in their neighbourhood. They mirrored feelings I understood, they asked questions I would ask, taught me well and engaged me in a way most programming did not. Most notably, they got along despite their differences which I didn’t see at school so much. What a great world to delve into, everyone was accepted. Learning was easier too, no pressure.

Sesame Street spans the globe, speaks many languages and positively impacts children. I’m glad it remains a part of our culture, championing tolerance and opening us up to our own potential. So much talent comes together to make Sesame Street what it is and so I think we should wish it many more healthy years.

Happy Birthday! Thank you very much for staying true to your vision so that we hold on to our pleasant memories and today’s children can create there own vibrant and happy memories too.

Ernie goes rock hunting

Have you ever had knowledge that something was going to happened before it did?

For decades parapsychology researchers and skeptics alike have been weighing in on psychic experiences.
Precognition is one of those unexplainables and yet throughout our history many people famous and not so famous have attested to its existence. Braving possible ridicule when they dared to speak aloud about their new found insight.

Besides my own personal experience with this I have known many people who have spoke at one time or another about their quick flight into the future. It could be as simple as knowing the phone is going to ring before it did. Maybe having a dream that depicts a situation, only to find that same drama plays out later that day, week or month.

We know our brain is underutilized and we are constantly amazed by advancements in understanding the human condition. So, is it really far fetch that we could pick up on more than the standard sensory based information?

What about standing or passing through a place with a strong sense of familiarity “I’ve been here before,” even though you have never been there? How about feeling like you know a person without ever having previously met them?

Has any of this every happened to you or someone you know and if so, how do you rationalize it?

Will we ever know the how and why? Maybe I should be satisfied with the personal knowing and the fun discussions I have with people on the topic and not worry about its proof of existence. But…wouldn’t it be fun if a researcher could conduct an extensive worldwide pole to determine how many people have had this experience? Precognition the mystery within.