Archive for September, 2010

Could the urge to write songs about sunny locations be a symptom of Seasonal Affective Disorder?

You know the rain is getting to you when you start to superimpose the Christmas song “White Christmas” into a song about a tropical vacation. It ended up like this:

I’m dreaming of those white beaches, just like the ones I used to know

Where the water glistens and waiters listen, to hear my drink order is to go

I’m dreaming of those white beaches, with every word that I will write

May your days be sunny and bright and may all your vacation plans be right

Now, I realize that this is not a Grammy winning remake of a classic but somehow as the wind and rain pounded down on the coast, it just came to me. Somewhere, on a nice tropical beach there is a lounge chair and an umbrella waiting for me. Bouts of wishful thinking keep resurrecting as I watch autumn come into view.

It is good in those moments when you pull the heated been bag out of the microwave, grab the cup of peppermint tea and eyeball your blanket on the couch, to just take a moment to be whisked away. The bean bag becomes the towel draped over your shoulders as you head off to the waters edge, the cup of hot tea becomes a Long Island Ice tea (or something equally refreshing) and the blanket you are eyeballing is actually this really cute bathing suit wrap that matches perfectly with your equally cute flip flops. (The ability to fantasize is a great skill to develop.)

It is usually the time when the season changes and I’m putting away my summer wardrobe that I begin to plan the next vacation. I’m a wimp, I know. Autumn hasn’t even truly settled in and already I’m trying to wave goodbye from a few thousand feet up in the air. I realize I couldn’t live without the changing seasons, I just wish that I personally held the authority to schedule a meeting with Mother Nature to discuss alternatives.

She and I would need to determine the best date for the official end of summer but first it may be prudent to establish a sub-committee, (similar to the protocol adopted by politicians) that would consider recommendations for autumn/winter start dates. The committee would then get back to us on the short term and long term impact of beginning autumn rains and winter chills in the September and October months respectively.

Unfortunately, I know that meeting will not be coming anytime soon as she strikes me as someone who likes to really change things up from time to time. Also, Mother Nature is an extremely busy woman. Adept, like most women, with multitasking she probably just hits the ground running. She can handle this weather stuff on her own and has surpassed the need long ago for outside consultation.

So, I have adopted this new approach of making up beach themed songs and plunging myself into the search for a warmer, flip flop ready climate. Now, if I can turn my fantasy pocket book into reality I will have the money to pay for this white beach adventure.

How the Internet played a hand in the re-victimization of a 16 year old girl who was gang raped at a party.

If this story hasn’t hit you yet, it is time it did. However, not in the way it has for many teens and others right now who are passing along the pictures of this brutal and very public rape on Facebook. Over one week ago a young girls life and the life of her family were irrevocably changed as she endured a rape at a party in Pitt Meadows, BC by an 18 year old boy and allegedly others. Meanwhile, one 16 year old male filmed and then posted the images, sharing with people in his life and beyond.

Despite efforts by police and Facebook monitors, it seems there is no way to stop the images from circulating, further victimizing this poor girl and her family. It is viral and in its truest definition has infected and continues to infect our lives in ways we may not clearly be able to comprehend.

The Internet unto itself has all the markings of a good tool to better our understanding of so many things; connecting us, shaping us and minimizing the vastness of this global village. It is also used to disseminate some of the most evil and disgusting representations of human behaviour; with little to no ability to recall what has been shared once it has been loaded. The relationship we have with this technology and the freedoms we chose to adopt with its existence means we can’t stop what is now developing in this story, perpetual violence.

Previous to global viewers it was the fear of any rape victim to go to court, face her accuser and endure the barrage of questions from those that would come to attack her character on the stand. Now, a victim can potentially live out every detail of this event through social media, which holds minimal protection laws or even morality to stop the flow of information and images. Protecting victims rights no longer applies and all the heads that created our free flow of information on the web, either can’t or won’t stop the madness.

We have entered into a time when people capture everything they do on film or in print with no civil/moral compass or even commonsense to light the way. Exposed to so much, so soon through television, video games, movies and the Internet our youth (and adults) are becoming desensitized to the point that standing, watching and even filming the torture of another human being, means nothing. It did not repulse the observers to view such a violent act instead apparently it gave opportunity to join in. It didn’t cause anyone to act on behalf of the victim. Instead, at least one individual male filmed it with the full intention of taking his porn to the socially charged and connected market of Facebook junkies.

The willingness to broadcast themselves (and others) is mirrored 24/7 and so what recipients saw probably wouldn’t shock many of them.  It isn’t like any of these kids hadn’t seen depictions like that before; actors or animated characters have often demonstrated the same contempt for girls/women. It isn’t like we could even quantify at this point the amount of verbal or visual references to victimization of girls/women that are embedded in their minds; hard-wired in without any true understanding of its significance.

That significance showed up with comments that blamed the victim or came out in the phrase that was offered by one boy in an awkward attempt to support the victim “….she’s not that type of girl.” As he wanted to articulate she didn’t deserve it, he implied that some type of girl would. There is no girl that would, but he hasn’t seen or heard evidence to the contrary.

Instead, a steady diet of images of girls and women being victimized or playing roles of “whores” who find themselves dispensable or deserving of bad treatment, is served weekly. Depictions of bondage, torture and rape are common place in their plugged in, supposedly non-realistic world, whereby either someone comes to the rescue of her or the girl eventually enacts her own vigilante style justice. Often described as “sexual content” in movie/game ratings and websites,  it would be hard for any teen or even adult to discern the reality of rape from the pleasure and truth about consensual sex.

The re-victimization of this girl continues because we have a society that has broken all the tenets normally associated with dignity, civility and respect. It is not that rape or torture did not exist before, it did. It is not the breakdown of the family, as I heard suggested by some ill-informed caller on a talk show covering this very case. Single parent homes have always existed. It is not about this girl or any other. For me it appears to be just another example of societal breakdown – the culmination of years of anything goes, the thought that people (mainly youth) can truly distinguish between reality and fantasy when that line has become so blurred. Through everything that is viewed or read we can see making it look as real as possible has become the expectation. Therefore, when it is really happening it now has less of an impact.

The Internet and the media we use everyday is not the cause of this tragedy, it is also not helping. As the images circulate for weeks, months and maybe years ahead on the web we may need to rethink what we want for our future.

How much victimization are we willing to allow in the name of protection of freedoms that currently blanket the Internet, social media and other sources of entertainment?

Can we honestly say to this girl, “It is OK, this will all die down soon, just ignore it?” How does she or we ignore this?

When it is a gun that hurts somebody we say, “Well, it is not guns that kill people, it is people that kill people.” That is fact, a gun can not change nor act of its behalf to change the outcome of a human decision. The Internet, however, and everything of the like can. There are great minds behind the sites and the emergence of this technology that I believe could change this and act in the best interest of our society.

Tell me what freedoms are we protecting that you can justify to this girl, right now? Though many use Facebook and other means to reach out to support this girl, it still seems odd to me. It is like getting consoled by the hand that continues to slap you; a passive friend one minute and an aggressive foe the next. The long reach of the Internet, social and other media never leaves you alone.

When I sat in the dentist chair experiencing the discomfort of nothing more than a cleaning, I was excited that the pay off would be the reveal of my clean, healthy teeth. As my dental hygienist handed me the customary gift of toothpaste and a new toothbrush, she proceeded to follow up with the final show of her handy work along with ongoing dental care instructions.

With the bright overhead light remaining on and the placement of the magnifying mirror in front of my face I was shown my teeth in all their glory. To my horror I was also shown every wrinkle and skin imperfection that up till this point I did not know existed. She started to impart her expertise about my teeth but her voice began to fade off to becoming like the voices in Charlie Brown “Wha” “Wha” “Wha” “Wha”.

Instead my attention went to gazing at my lips where years of the occasional weather related peeling left marks. There was freckles, blemishes, colouration’s on my face that surprised me and lines that made me start to calculate my actual age in terms of life expectancy.

To this day I have no idea what she explained to me about her handy work in my mouth and the expectation she has for her patient. No, I have a permanent visual in my mind of every little nuance of my facial skin. There were a couple of stray brow hairs that I immediately plucked when I got home, I reassessed my skin regiment and lip balms hold coveted spots in my medicine cabinet and purses ready to be deployed at any given moment.

I felt bad for my epidermis I think I may have over exposed it to the elements. Maybe I haven’t respected its need for water and could have stuck better to a diet that respected my allergies. Up to this point, I just thought it forgave me periodically but apparently it hasn’t, instead my face clearly wears the years of life and exposure.

Now, keeping young has never been my foremost goal, aging is to be expected…that’s what we do. This was just a real eye opener, I’ve never seen my face that close up before. Maybe a warning label should be placed on that mirror — it magnified too much and I think I have suffered a mild case of post mirror stress.

The PNE (Pacific National Exhibition) celebrates its 100th anniversary! So, in addition to the rides, exhibits, food and some old fashion family fun, came great summer night concert line-ups. I had quite the surprise to find Cyndi Lauper would be gracing the stage; I had not followed her closely over the last few years but knew she had expanded into another genre. We stood for well over an hour to assume our position on a narrow path, surrounded by hundreds of other people of all ages and ethnicity’s. Then the crowd roared as Cyndi Lauper took to the stage to give Vancouver a real treat, a chance to groove to the blues.

Her CD Memphis Blues is the number one top selling blues album according to Billboard.com and we certainly got a glimpse as to how it climbed to the top. Ms. Lauper has an incredible voice; you can tell she loves the blues. She feels it and each word is given deeper meaning. There were many times when her vocal talents truly stood out, hitting a note, holding it, mirroring the band she kept you riveted to her presence on the stage.

The musicians that accompanied her were phenomenal! The best of the best and we felt fortunate to be watching and listening to their talent. Charlie Musslewhite was so impressive on the harmonica, he is a well honored blues man who draws you in on the first note. Steve Pottz was like an octopus on the drums, it looked effortless and yet we knew what he was doing was what others can only aspire to achieve. Archie Turner – keyboardist was impressive to see live; with the guitarists and pianist also capturing every one’s attention.  The mix on this show allowed each musician to be featured. These legendary performers/musicians were appreciated by many in the audience and certainly by Cyndi herself.

At one point she was right down with the audience and stopped the song…people were flashing their cameras and recording on their phones her performance. She got right in their face and to summarize (and paraphrase) her message Cyndi let them know “whether you are You-Tubing or whatever… spending time filming means you are not in the moment… appreciating the great blues musicians that you likely have never seen and will never see again!”  She said what many of us would love to say but can’t. We live in the sea of cell phones and have grown accustom to the positioning of these people who can’t seem to take the time to just enjoy a concert without thrusting their phones out in front of our faces and spaces.

Ms. Lauper opened her musical vault at the end giving the audience a chance to revisit some of her old songs like “She Bop, Time After Time, Girls Just Want to Have Fun and True Colors.”  True Colors was particularly moving to hear, as the audience embraced the song in such a way that it felt very much like an anthem.

For the price of a ticket to the PNE we managed to take in so many things we enjoy but most memorable for me will be standing next to my man, with such a diverse crowd, enjoying the music on a hot summer night with Cyndi Lauper. Next on my list of things to do…buy her CD.