Monthly Archives: September 2017

Compassion In The Face Of Job Loss

Compassion In The Face Of Job Loss

When clients come to me for help with their careers they are usually at one of the lowest points in their life. Financially they are struggling, they lack purpose, pressure is mounting to find another job and their sense of identity has been stripped away. Their attitude towards themselves and others has changed.

What erodes rather quickly after job loss is compassionate self-observation. The inner critic, which exists within all of us, begins to take over and one can quickly lose sight of who they really are. The data that is collected and stored within the brain leans more to the negative and often isn’t a fully accurate reflection of self or the situation.

This is a particularly vulnerable time for clients, as the generosity and empathy first expressed by former colleagues, friends and family can start to lessen and loneliness sets in. They could also be experiencing an over-abundance of advice from well-meaning people which can lead to dependence or a feeling of being overwhelmed.

One of the first things we can all do to assist someone who has lost their job is to recognize that what we see on the surface is only representative of what they want to share. The rest is buried for personal protection.

The next step in the process is to help clients develop attitudes that support a compassionate path forward. We need to introduce an honest approach that connects the person to facts rather than fear induced worry. It’s a good idea to employ calming techniques, reconnect to self and others, open curiosity to make exploration both fun and meaningful, and find tools to regain confidence. It’s time for clients to stop looking at everything through the lens of shame.

Build up positive self-reflection so that the client can see how they are pulling themselves up and that they are in control of next steps. Far too often I see clients who have been manipulated (willingly and unwillingly) towards options that may not be in their best interest but they acquiesce because they don’t trust their own inner voice. This is a  mistake. The inner guide/voice was there before job loss and must be allowed to remain vocal because the experience of losing one’s job is just another opportunity to practice their skills.

When we and our clients can use the power of compassion it can help shape their future in ways few could have predicted. It is freeing and the transformation between confusion, guilt, anger and shame to creativity, respect, connection and confidence is magnificent!

 

 

 

 

Is Fear Taking Over Us All?

Is Fear Taking Over Us All?

I’m sensing fear is taking over on a global scale and we are letting it win.

In conversations with friends, family, students, colleagues and acquaintances the mere mention of the word “energy” often leads to a larger discussion on how the energy of the world seems chaotic, imbalanced and just plain weird.

I’m trying to keep myself insulated from all of that but from under my protective rock I peek out just long enough to see and hear what’s going on in this world. I look for sources with a ground level understanding about what’s transpiring but it’s hard to find the truth these days. Is it in a book, through appointed experts, social media or mainstream media?  I don’t know anymore.

Speaking of truth and the media….

According to the Book of Trump all we have is “Fake News” which isn’t helping to lessen the dread. (Has he trademarked Fake News yet? That seems like something he would do.) His anti-news media campaigns have extended beyond the borders with plenty of fear and speculation to go around. Sharp tongues lashing and poison keys typing we are swimming in a sea of bad vibes.

Nothing attracts the power seekers or fear mongers more than an opportunity to advertise internationally on social media. What if an excerpt from their life or well-thought out quote wasn’t glamorized through video or retweeted? If we don’t give the person(s) the kind of story they imagined or re-post the images they wanted us to see, will that pot of bad energy they’re trying to stir up dissipate?

Maybe the media is being used as a pawn – especially by those that want to tap into the worst parts of our nature – or selling doom is just the only way to stay in business. Channels are being broadcast figuratively and literally tuned to incite hate, cultural division, gender bashing, corporate slashing and much more. From what we see on the news there’s no vocal harmony just yelling, no peaceful protestors just angry sign-wielding marchers. Learning to be afraid of each other appears to be a theme.

Are we becoming so accustomed to fear that it now becomes the only way for us to feel alive?

Is it possible that I/we could be losing grip on our own purpose by being swept up in the energy of others?

How do I/we begin to tap into that sacred space, the inner guide, when it is being drowned out by world noise.

If my intuition says, “What is happening around you is wrong!”, is it OK to ignore that warning?

How do I give meaning to my life if I witness the absence of hope, joy or human civility?

Is it possible that I’m allowing bullies and fear peddlers to shape my surroundings?

These are some of the questions circling in my head right now.

It doesn’t appear to be enough to think positive, hide from the world or tweet inspirational quotes. I think we are in dire need of a reboot. If only we could create an update button that would be pushed not by the conspiracy theorists, attention seeking  commentators or those with a Napoleon complex but by people who truly want to see humanity, civility and dignity survive.