Archive for the ‘Business’ Category

Yes, you know it, can’t help but sound the trumpet, bang the drum, toot the horn join everyone with a big CONGRATULATIONS! to our women athletes. Can you believe it? They are wearing more Gold, Silver and Bronze than the male competitors….13 out of 17 medals won by these sports women.

I know, I’m on the gender bandwagon, but its me. If you want something else go to a gender neutral blog post. I’m celebrating women and sports!!

At the end of the year maybe Squire Barnes (Global TV Sports) will see fit to highlight their achievements. (still peeved about his lack of female representation) Can’t get around this one, these women are cleaning up and enjoying the results of their intense training and dedication to sports.

Yesterday, I watched as our women’s hockey team took the Gold. Today, there is some griping about them celebrating with champagne and beer on the ice after the ceremonies, whatever! Joannie Rochette, a figure skater was inspiring to watch, in the face of so much personal tragedy she still managed to achieve her goal and made everyone extremely proud. The fact that she was still competing was enough for us all, to see her skate so beautifully was remarkable. Our hearts opened with compassion in learning about her mother’s passing and then sang with her achievement. Clara Hughes, she sets the bar even higher as she has won medals for cycling and speed skating in both the winter and summer Olympics. Add in a famous Jennifer moment – Jennifer Heil the freestyle skier enjoys the nations praise with her silver medal. It’s all good!

There are more women to list here but maybe at the end of it all I will compile the list of names and raise a toast to womankind. Why?….because we in North America have been accepted into the sports world (though there is room for improvement, I’ll leave out referencing battles here) but there are women in many other countries that are still struggling to get started. Funding/support for women sports in many parts of Europe still lags behind and imagine what it is like for other less developed countries. Interest  abounds but support does not. By seeing what women can do, it may open the doors for the younger generation to pursue their dreams of enjoying a sport, representing their team or even standing on an Olympic podium.

These women serve as inspiration, role models and hope.  They are clearly worth the investment. I’m happy for all the world athletes male and female but as always get myself just a little higher when I see women breaking records and exceeding expectations.  For all the women athletes well in our past; that risked all, put up with countless stupid comments, were segregated and sometimes humiliated, pursued the dream and designed the team…Vancouver’s 2010 Olympics shows your efforts to open the door was worth it!

Babe Didrikson Zaharius was my role model when I was growing up. I saw one film about her and never forgot her name. She inspired me to run and for many years I enjoyed long distance running and many other sports. Check out the following to learn more about this great Olympian.

target="_blank">Babe Didrikson

Lose 100 pounds of stress fat, Body after Baby, How she lost the weight after pregnancy, Curb your cravings, Flat Sexy Abs, Your hormones your weight…shall I go on or are you already sucking in the stomach muscles and gearing up for the gym.

The minute you stand in a checkout the eye can’t help but scan the magazine covers. If not reading the latest headline about Brad and Angelina or the sex lives of the chronically relationship disabled, we are most likely catching a glimpse of what the body could look like if we did……something.

Wading in the sea of bikini wearing, air brushed stars and models I couldn’t help but laugh inside about the irony of loading our carts with food only to get a dose of why not to have bought most of it in the first place. Maybe the trick is to use the time wisely as you enter the aisles of doom.

I have some ideas for the next visit on how we can go from passive shopper to workout wonder!

1. After properly sanitizing the handle on your cart (yuk!) grip it hard and release, grip hard and release, repeat… do at least 3 reps of ten.

2. In the vegetable section, with bag in hand, lunge toward the back of the fruit and vegetable sections with a strong reach. Lift back leg slightly off the floor and reach forward. Not only will you get a stretch into the leg and arms but the freshest fruits and vegetables are placed at the back anyway.

3. Squat down, tighten that butt as you reach to the lower shelf for that can of green beans. Just doing a quick bend over doesn’t cut it, feel those buns contract and release as you squat for each item.

4. If your laundry soap comes in a plastic container with a handle, do three quick bicep curls per arm.

5. This is more of resistance training….avoid the cake aisle. Realize the happy wishes and icing colours are just trying to draw you in, resist I say. Take that opportunity to tighten the abs and release, tighten, release.

It is important to realize that all those supposedly happy, weightless, tanned, perky breasted, wrinkle free, washboard abs, buns of steel, yummy mommies and models are not much different than the rest of us. Except, they have a good plastic surgeon, an overpaid physical trainer, in house chef or the finances to buy better, magnified body image pressure, good technology  to air brush the flaws and enhance the appeal, the best hair, expensive makeup to cover everything, regular spa treatments and a wardrobe stylist so they don’t have to think about what to wear.  Other than all of that they are just like the rest of us.

Maybe it would be fun to explore what it would be like if magazines were covering men:

Lose that beer gut, From couch bum to tight buns, Exercise your way back into that Speedo (OK, bad visual), Minding your midlife spread, Burn off those sympathy pregnancy pounds, Lose your remote control lose weight, How to perk up your pecs.    —– Of course each magazine would have the tanned twenty something year old guy on the cover.

I’m not mocking being healthy that is good, but it is even better to be a great human being. So, here are the tags for my mock magazine:

You don’t need flat abs to accomplish your goals

Size only matters if you let it

Fake anything is just that, “fake” – finding your authentic self

The minute your born you’re dying – fighting age is a waste of energy

Live life in the temple you were given.

So, next time we all walk into that store, cruise the aisles and get spit out at the other end for a walk down body image lane; take a deep breath and know you don’t have to buy what their selling.

target="_blank">Dove Evolution

What was your first job and what did it teach you?

The first job we have is such a profound marker in life, a coming of age moment. The cutting of the chord, as it were, from our parents and a real indicator life is about to be very different. I have had many conversations with people about their first job and by virtue of being a career counselor/coach I have also been present at an individuals first leap into the world of work. What always intrigues me is how we get started and how we progress from those humble beginnings.

My first job was in retail. Working for one of the largest and most popular jean company Bootlegger. It was initially a challenge for me as I wasn’t always comfortable with pressure sales and up-selling; it felt a little like I was pushing the limits of trust between customer and clerk. What got me past my reservations was the all important first pay cheque, in addition to keeping a roof over my head and food in my stomach. Fresh out of high school and now independent it became an essential quality to look at the bigger picture as there was nobody else to blame if I failed to pay my rent.  I quickly learned that money wasn’t everything, there was more to a job and paycheque than meets the eye.

Many very famous people had some less than glamorous jobs but important starts. Gwen Stefani from the group No Doubt worked at Dairy Queen cleaning the floors. Kirstie Alley known for her role on the hit television show Cheers was a housekeeper; in an interview with Oprah she shared her knowledge of the best ways to clean a home. Barbara Walters was a secretary in an office before she began her career in journalism. Queen Latifah who has made her mark as a singer and actor worked at Burger King. Suze Orman the financial guru worked as a waitress. In fact, there were many cooks, waitresses, retail clerks and secretaries. Maya Angelou the brilliant poet and writer started out similarly but one interesting note was the distinction of being the first black female streetcar conductor in San Francisco.

What did my first job teach me? I certainly understood more about my values and developed skills I previously didn’t know I had. I used the word trust earlier when describing my interaction with customers, but really it was the importance of placing myself in other peoples’ shoes. Whether somebody came to me to get an honest opinion on buying an item or for advice the lesson I concluded was to be authentic. Fake just doesn’t cut it. I also now empathize with those that serve others as I know what it’s like being behind the counter.

Here are some other important things learned:

1.Strong work ethic: by working hard, pushing through challenge, putting in the time and showing willingness to learn, many doors can open.

2.Validation: I liked Kirstie speaking about being validated for her contribution as the housekeeper. She was able to take pride in her work and know that it was important and the skills obtained would be used many times in life. She shared “It gave me a vision for my own home.”

3. Making average great: Suze Orman profoundly remarked about how being a waitress helped her discover happiness. She stated “I learned that when you make average great, your dreams can become a reality.”

4. Perspective:  The first job can give you perspective. Life up to that point has been fairly structured and blinders were firmly attached. The first job opens us up the opportunity to find deeper meaning and understanding about self and others.

5. The Journey: None of the famous people noted or anyone I know had instantaneous success. Contrary to popular belief we don’t get to become CEO overnight. Starting at the bottom and working our way up has a lot of benefits. Maybe the pocket book is lighter but the experience and exposure to what and who can make a big difference is the long term gain.

6. Mentors Matter: Mentors are truly the unsung hero’s in our career development. The biggest impact on our professional lives whether youth or adult can often be found in a person who took the time to see the potential.

7. Money isn’t everything: Though there are famous women and men who have enjoyed huge success and now live life comfortably financially, it wasn’t the pursuit of the next dollar that got them there. Finding the joy, listening to the right people, setting goals and working hard brings us closer to the life we want.

Here’s something else from the book of Jennifer

- Nobody owes us nothing but if we trace backward we may find we owe someone something. It is usually gratitude for their wisdom, patience and willingness to take a chance on us. With naivety firmly intact we begin the career path. It doesn’t matter whether you are selling jeans, flipping burgers, wearing work boots or a hair net there is learning in everything we do. Nothing is beneath us except solid ground in which to start building upon.

What did your first job teach you?

Today, I attended a Chamber of Commerce meeting with a guest speaker whose expertise was in social media. Clearly, there is a lot to learn especially if you are a business. Conversations and community building has come a long way and just when you think you are tapped into this community something new comes along.

There is a whole lot of different names to go with this media world, some of which only made sense to me after he explained what they do. Slideshare, Digg, Ning, Scribd all were under my radar until listening to this speaker. I also learned where not to devote my time as a business owner, some things lean heavily to certain demographs and may not be suitable.

I’m not on Facebook, as I keep hearing conflicting information about the effectiveness and privacy issues. Outside of finding long lost friends is it worth my time? In fact, many times when I talk to people it is in the context of finding old buddies or ex partners where it appeals most. Now, I couldn’t do my job or be the friend I am without being a people person, but somehow I felt Facebook may just open me up to a whole lot of people I care not to know. Having said that, if there is a compelling reason to get my message out further and Facebook was the best avenue, I, like many others may go that route.

Did you know that Canadians are the biggest user of Facebook? I found out that people over 65 are growing in numbers as users of the site. (Guess they don’t have to worry about what pictures they put up after they retire)

Twitter, interesting. A colleague of mine says she has found it quite useful, I may need to explore it but again I’m undecided. I enter into all these areas with great hesitation and questions – Who is looking? What is the benefit? Do I need to know you or you me? Is what I have to say worth it? Is this just adding more to my under-developed but over-exposed techno mind? Thus causing a large amount of stress as I find the time and the inclination to be “socially” in touch.  Tweet ….”in my office debating whether to tweet or not to tweet.”

Then we have to use social media measurement tools, now I’m using tools to track who is tracking me. My head is spinning, how am I going to facilitate, write, coach/counsel, have personal time with all of this? Apparently, everyone has time for their job, marketing, blogging, facebooking (?) , tweeting and being Linkedin.

Then there is “followers” now that would have been considered very cult like years ago but now we encourage and rejoice in the number of followers we have and we follow too. Sure we are not handing our flowers or shaving our heads and there is no compound except if you count this box we are all happily typing into everyday. It is a shared experience for sure, we are sharing a lot of personal things like one big happy family, just not our money. If you make more money from any of these sites it is all yours!

Yes, it was quite the learning experience for me today. Great to be informed, off to do more research on all the social media sites and will try to pick those that keep me connected but not too much. I need a life.

Some time ago I was teaching a class when it occurred to me that those preparing for employment and those currently employed share a common need. The need for self care. It doesn’t matter how much money you make or your education if you are not taking care of yourself, your health can easily be compromised.

It is common for us to focus outward and neglect the signs that our work life is taking over. The assumption is that if we push hard enough we will get where we need to go faster. It will get easier from there and we can rest later.

The push can be for financial reasons, in that there is self/family to support, increased debt or lavish lifestyle to fund. It can also be forced upon us if the expectation of our position means a twelve hour day shows dedication, anything less shows weakness. Still for others the drive may be self inflicted, a feeling that they are not good enough and in order to be noticed they must go the extra distance, even if it kills them.

There are other reasons for us to focus outward but what I would like to explore is a holistic approach to work. I have compiled three main areas of focus for you to consider:

Feed the Body – Proper diet is essential. Prior to re-entering the workforce try to get yourself on a similar schedule to a work day. Give yourself the gift of a diet that will help sustain you from hour to hour. Often, people in my class brought coffee, pop and treats for their breaks; that doesn’t nurture the body and is very unpractical considering the time and requirements associated with a workshop. Appropriate exercise. Get in an routine with an activity that stimulates you, it gets the blood flowing. Walking is great for that and can be easily adapted for pre and post work. Rest when needed. If you have any health concerns in which a full day can be difficult, try to find even fifteen minutes to rest. Many times I have gone to my car in lunch breaks, ate my lunch and rested my eyes before returning to work. Use your office or find a quiet space to meditate it can make a huge difference.

Feed the Mind – Learning and developing ideas. Keeping the mind active is essential, whether currently employed or not. Taking an extended brain break while off work can make returning to work ten times harder. It is exhausting to learn a new job and especially so if you have not continued in some way to keep the brain stimulated. Equally, if you are on the job, it is not uncommon to fall in a rut. You may question the point in learning anything new as you’re employed, so why bother? That is a mistake, it is the prime time to educated yourself further and develop ideas that keep the job or job prospects interesting. A strong word of advice – upgrading while you are on the job is far better than waiting till you are unemployed,stressed and desperate for work. Keeping yourself current is a line a defense against extended unemployment.

Feed the Soul – Find the passion. Being passionate about what you do goes a long way. There are plenty of studies to suggest that when you enjoy what you do, money, contacts and opportunity comes to you. It is not to say that sometimes we must do things that we are less than passionate about in order to pay the bills. There are times in our life when that is necessary and not beneath us. There is no shame in that, it is called survival. However, embracing passion instead of chasing the dollar, can make success taste that much sweeter. Chasing the dollar feels good only on a superficial level, passion is deep and many doors open as the passion exudes from you. Just watch what happens when someone talks about something they love, facial expressions and hand gestures are more noticeable, they light up. Their speech is more confident and the knowledge pours forth effortlessly. That is what is captured in the passion, confidence, an inner knowing “this is right for me.”

The holistic approach to working makes sense no matter who you are. No matter your age, location or employment status. Tap into these things and you will see differences in your perception of self and work.

If you need further clarification on incorporating this into your life or other career coaching services, please feel free to contact me.

The marriage between hockey legends and competitive figure skaters makes for interesting television.

If you haven’t heard about the new CBC show Battle of the Blades I suggest you get up to speed. CBC has me tuning in each week to watch  some of the former greats of the National Hockey League pair skate with the most skillful and talented figure skaters of our time. This is perfect for someone like me because I have always enjoyed watching competitive skating and have maintained a long love affair with hockey.

In front of a live audience at Maple Leaf Gardens, the opportunity to see people we admire in both sports and good old fashion competition, heats up the ice. This is a brilliant concept, a reality show that is open for men, women and children to watch. Canada is rich in talent in both of these sports and this pays tribute in its own way to those that have previously dedicated their life to pursuing their dream in hockey or ice skating.

Competition is good! We have long been trying to beat this out of our system and I can tell you, keeping score is what also makes this show fun. This is a good example of healthy competition, it helps improve the performances and provides a good example of how one can step out of their comfort zone to try something new.

Did any of these NHL’ers ever think that the dance they would be doing in the future would not involve, finessing around someone to score a goal or dropping their gloves? No. None of them knew they had this in them and so they are good examples of using skills in a different way and being open to learning.

For the figure skaters who are helping to train these ex-hockey players, they must exercise patience. These women and the choreographers are not dealing with equally gifted and trained ice skaters so there certainly must be a high level of trust. Hour upon hour they work toward a goal, to enjoy the experience, stay in the competition and raise money for their charity. Yes, did I mention the charities? This is what takes this program to another “special” level, each pair has chosen a charity to represent. Only good can come from that, whether it be money or exposure.

I tune in to watch, relax, cheer and voice my inexpert opinion. I also tune in because I realized there is more to this show than voting at the end of each competition for our favourite pair. It is about pushing your own perceived physical and mental boundaries, trying something you never thought you would, raising your self confidence, partnership and trust, competition, unity and charity. Now that’s a well packaged show!

Battle of the Blades

“Please excuse me I have somewhere else I would rather be.”

OK, I wouldn’t really say it like that but I have thought it many times in certain social settings. I don’t know if it is my age or my increased need to honor my self and my time but it is getting easier to walk away from being in the wrong place with the wrong people. We all have been in a room and experienced difficulty with a personality that turns what is a respectful, inclusive conversation or meaningful/fun experience into an excluding, bad taste, ego centric show.

I often find myself in that moment checking in with my reaction, trying to center and recognizing that this person is bringing up feelings in me I may need to explore.  I may need to look deeper as to how I can better handle situations like this. But not right now!

Right now, I sit politely listening to a bunch of inappropriate jokes or life/relationship analysis; a laugh that comes first from their own mouth, followed by others who either agree or feel compelled to participate. I sit there and think…Who are you? I look around to see if anyone else appears to be asking the same question or is adjusting their body language to compensate for their real feelings about this person being in their space. In my estimation, some individuals believe it is there place to liven things up but usually are not good at assessing the crowd. I always wonder what makes them think it was needing their touch, humour or antics to begin with.

It is the lack of civility, respect for all individuals and manners (especially in the company of women), that bothers me most. Some of the worst examples of human behaviour are used to signify a persons arrival in the group, propped up by a large ego and a loud mouth. (They are either really comfortable with their own behaviour or are compensating for some issues that are unbeknownst to the rest of us.)

I used to go through my life just joining in, feeling compelled to be in with the crowd but I became closer to myself over these years, formed a relationship and understanding that is working well. I became less interested in fitting in and more interested in living in my truth. There are some things that are just not funny to me or don’t interest me… and that is OK.

In assessing my own physical and psychological reactions to such people or circumstances I have learned a lot. My reactions are slowly changing; a slow process as sometimes I feel as though I may have to bite my tongue, literally. Feeling comfortable not to engage is welcomed, and then the subsequent letting go of all emotions associated with the experience or person. It is extremely liberating to realize that we all have reasons for the way we act in any given circumstance but that we also have the power to simply walk away.

Trust me when I say, I am under construction in this department, many people coming to test my foundation. How I respond is an opportunity to learn. I can do without certain people in my life, more selective I guess. I don’t know what works for the rest of you but I know where I am heading.

So, if you go down a road I’m not willing to go, “Please excuse me, I have somewhere else I would rather be.

(This post was reflecting many social settings in the past and was not fully representing any one situation or person)

Jack Welch the former General Electric Co. Chief made some comments at the Society for Human Resource Management conference that hit the proverbial fan. It seems the interpretation of his speech looked very much like a man who was nonsupporting of women who require time to raise a family. He is not one to believe in the concept of work/life balance. “There are work/life choices and you make them, and they have consequences.” Well, that sounds ominous.

Further to that, was the claim that a person who wants to take the time out for family will be be passed over for promotion if “you’re not there in the clutch.” I’ll save that one for another time, but as for work/life balance and choices here is where I want to go with this:

After all these years of working with individuals in career development/planning, I have yet to have one man come in and ask me how to balance his life and career.Truly, not one.

It may be because it was a little easier in some professions to climb to a level that afforded them more balance personally and financially.  As for having a family, they don’t have nine months of pregnancy to contend with; physically growing larger by the week, more tired by the day while still maintaining their employment and work responsibilities. Interruption in their career after baby is born is shorter and therefore doesn’t impact them greatly. It could also be that the division of labour in the home is still not equal and that children seem to require more of Mom’s attention than Dad’s.

So, by virtue of just these examples alone I would think the scale itself would not look balanced to begin with, so why ask? It may also be that it is all just water off a ducks back and trying to obtain balance is something men don’t feel the need to attain. Life is life.

In measuring anything on a scale we may see balance and we are happy with that for how ever long it last. It gives us a temporary sense of accomplishment. Then the scale may tip one way or the other as we attempt to add more things to one side. Balance is hard to maintain in a life that is not stagnant, but it is possible to balance more often than not.  That is why I will grant Mr. Welch one thing… we do have work/life choices and those are the things that get our scales unbalanced if not properly assessed prior to decision making.

Here is my observation from watching people all around me, listening in on conversations, reading the blogs and counselling the professional/working Mom.

Most of the time I see women doing far more than they need to be doing. They have made a “choice” to do for their children and their partners what each could do for themselves. Instead of dividing the workloads many women appear to feel they are superior; their children/partners are incapable of contributing properly. Consequently, the family’s ability to take on more responsibility or even think for themselves is lost. Many useful skills simply never get developed or vanish. These women have created the position of NEED, on top of all the hats worn they want also to be “needed.”

“I don’t know what they would do without me.” If a woman can not balance her life, transition within or even expand on her career in the way that she had intended, most of the time I can trace it back to impulsive decision making and/or to lack of delegation. If women today are less happy than they were in previous generations as some study suggested, it isn’t feminism that killed that (which was one of the suggested culprits) it is because they have not stepped up to the plate and claimed their life, career and time properly. Also, generation past… may have ill-prepared this generation to think, do and delegate. (Just an observation, not a scientific fact) 

Balance comes when the scale is evenly weighted – not perfect, it will move from time to time but the expectation is that others will help in the process. Here is food for thought: Children are not invalids! Less tech time and more understanding of home maintenance will help with work/life balance. Make the connection that a grown man who is perfectly capable at work to balance his appointments, meet deadlines, communicate and clean up his work space is able to do the same when he comes home.

At the end of the day it does come down to choices. There are consequences, but we make the scale tip negatively or positively. The career woman shouldn’t need to be afraid of her choices, let the Jack Welch’s of the world fade to black and have larger expectations for those around you professionally and personally. As a wise colleague of mine Sheila Radha Conrad pointed out “Empowerment comes from within”….use it! All the answers to what will balance your life, enhance your career and benefit your family can be found if you look inward.

It is always odd in life when a conversation or observation plays itself out more than once in a short period of time. Of late it has been individuals who are trying desperately to defy aging. For many years I watched women try various treatments, creams, workouts, diets and clothing styles in an attempt to divert attention away from the signs of aging. Two very good examples of that presented themselves this past couple of weeks and my interest was peaked…Can the obsession with anti-aging, age you?

Women have long thought that by doing all of the above treatments they would somehow feel better about their bodies and overall image. It also appears that many believe that what they are doing is making them more beautiful to the public eye. I don’t have a problem with people who want to keep themselves healthy or even change up their personal style but some women are appearing older; trying to drink from the fountain of youth may have proved poisonous.

In the pursuit of the sun-kissed glow there are people who take that to the extreme and after years of tanning now sport the “leather look.” It has increased their wrinkles, moles and other skin related conditions and ultimately does not look youthful at all.

Clothing that belongs on a teenager or twenty year old is not flattering to the forty+  body. Yet we see many women attempting to claim their youth, through the wearing of styles so inappropriate it draws more negative attention than positive.

There are surgical enhancements/treatments that look mismatched in comparison to the body parts that are not altered. Not to mention botched jobs that cost some people more than what they bargained for.

How about injections that create an expressionless face that has everyone fixated on how nothing moves, rather than on what the person is saying.

What we see in the mirror is not always a true reflection and as a result we may never know how damaging the anti-aging pursuits have been.

It is a fact that we age and all of us have the choice to grow old with grace and acceptance, or fight it all the way to the grave. The fighting is futile; as sure as we will age, so shall we die. The amount of time, money and self battering associated with all of this may only hasten the process. The diets and dyes, drugs and surgeries, stresses with dressing and constant obsessing, may indeed age us quicker.

I know the pressure is there, streamed and beamed into every part of our life. A youth centric culture with air-brushed women and a warped sense of what makes a woman sexy. We can not enter any store, open a magazine, flip a channel, drive past a billboard or peruse the Internet without being reminded we are not good enough. Our attractiveness is measured constantly by society and even partners/family. So, it is no wonder that there are people who will never feel like they measure up.

We all do a self examination, myself included. After entering my forties I found myself on occasion assessing this new me, it comes with laugh and worry lines, a size up in clothing, more gray hair and a workout that takes me twice as long.  It is the work out that has me most perplexed. Apparently, muscles have memory but I think mine are suffering from a memory lapse, as they can’t remember my abs of steel and contoured triceps.

Having said that, I am not prepared to succumb to the pressures of being something I am not. What I wish for my body is health and happiness. What I want is to wear clothing that flatters the body that carried me this far, despite some bad decisions in the past. I don’t want to spend my money on anti-aging, just healthy living. If for some reason I have a case of missing my youthful looks too much, I’m hoping I have people around who can set me straight before I do irreversible damage to what was beautiful to begin with.

INVEST IN YOUR SELF ESTEEM, IT WILL CARRY YOU FARTHER IN LIFE AND LOVE.

It is often hard to give ourselves permission to stop and truly take care of self.

Lately, I have been pulling out many hats and switching them several times throughout the day.  There are moments of clarity where I talk to my self and say, “What the heck are you doing, Jennifer?” The answer comes back, “stop and have lunch, drink water, breathe, damn it breathe.” Still I proceed unsympathetic to its pleas, after all there is a list of things to do and a timeline in which to do it.

There are also roles; that are defined very early on in relationships with family, friends and significant others. Each person, for the most part, is busy too and therefore has difficulty noticing if we are burning the candle at both ends. There is a person who might pipe and say, “Why don’t you just not do that?” OK, I could put it aside but the odd thing is, the darn thing will be waiting for me tomorrow or next week when I’m equally busy, so how does that help? What’s even odder is that thing you put off, waits until you’re just about to drop off to sleep and then creeps into your head and says in a whispering voice, “Don’t forget…. tomorrow” And I’m awake again.

So, today I took time out at the spa. “Ahhhh.” It was there in the low lights, relaxing music and with the gentle hands of Leanne providing me with a well needed facial, I had a moment. Here I am imparting the wisdom of women balancing their life and careers and I’m not taking my own advice. Asking women to take time out for self and sharing how those around you will benefit from your self care and here I was forgetting to even take a proper breath.

This time at the spa was a luxury I do not afford myself often. Financially it is not always feasible, sometimes I feel guilty for loving it so much and as you can see I don’t allow time. It is my choice to wear all those hats and sometimes a hat is donated and worn to alleviate someone else. Either way, saying “No” is a word that is hard to say, even for me.

So, this counsellor needs to take her own advice more often and the advice of those loving people who observe the flames as I streak by them on my way to the next project.

Taking care of self should not be the gift you give yourself, but the norm. I have to say, I will need to explore this further, reach deep and overcome. In the meantime, I will start small, reduce the current array of hats and know that “Delegation” and saying “NO”, are not dirty words. My face is clean and so to is my conscience for taking an hour + for self.