Archive for the ‘Business’ Category

In the context of my work as a Career Development Practitioner it can often be hard to describe the different approaches I employ to support individuals. (Hence, why I don’t spend a lot of time blogging about it.) Depending on the needs of my clients or students, my role changes slightly to accommodate. Sometimes, I can find myself and my client floating somewhere between interventions and knowing that, I take a momentary step back to reevaluate our position and goals.

There is coaching, counselling, consulting and advising; to name a few. Each have their merits and serve to aid in the process of getting us from point A to B and so on.  If there is one thing that comes up often, when I first begin to work with anyone, it is establishing the differences between coaching and counselling.

So, I thought I would just do a quick and easy look at the differences between styles of working together as it pertains to career support services:

Coaching is like a safety net – If you are going through a transition but need some redefining or refining of your skills, values and/or interest, this style may be of help. It is quite goal oriented and doesn’t delve too much  into the feelings/emotional aspects that may be a barrier to your success. What you get is the support and brain storming that is often helpful to move forward in attaining your goal.

Counselling has a more holistic approach – If there are behaviours, past and present influences, beliefs, negative self talk, skill development, interests and values clarification, professional or personal reasons that hinder progress, this may be the style for you. It is intended to bring forth meaningful discussions necessary for personal growth. In turn, it allows for professional advancement, promotes positive movement, healthy decision making and goal setting. There is great care, ethics and safety used with counselling and it is incumbent on your practitioner to know when discussions have reached an area outside of their expertise. From that a referral would be made.

Consulting provides feedback and strategies – If you feel reasonably in control but need some assistance that allows you to accept or reject suggestions, this may be a fit. Consulting could be something that you tap into occasionally as a check in, but your level of confidence in your skills, education and abilities may be quite intact.

Advising (or Guiding) is really about monitoring your actions – If you don’t want someone to act on your behalf but instead encourage your independence; provide resources and advice to support that self- reliance, this may be just what you need.

No matter what the role I find myself in it is extremely rewarding. I have often said I am humbled and honored to be a part of my clients and students development. We all need someone to turn to and certainly understand what it means to be stuck. Sometimes we are far too close to the situation or unable to get out of the way of ourselves in order to make the next so called “logical” step.

Make sure you ask questions about the practitioners style and philosophy because how they work with you is deeply important. It is your time, money and energy that is being expended and that needs to be respected. Hopefully, after this quick post on the types of assistance that is available you can feel empowered to determine what your next step may be and who, if anyone, will help in that process.

Does the idea of owning your own business, working according to your core values, defining success on your own terms and affecting positive change interest you? Many women have taken steps in their life to do all of that and more but how they accomplish it has changed over the years.

Women entrepreneurs don’t even need a store front to make their professional dreams a reality. This virtual world has expanded rapidly, opening doors for women to develop a business that is unrestricted by international borders. Using the internet and leveraging the power of social media, women around the globe build relationships that strengthen their business and personal aspirations. One of those women is Jill Crossland.

Jill is a life and business coach who started in 2004, what was then, TimeFinders Coaching. Ever the forward thinker, as her company grew so did her recognition of the trend toward self branding. In 2008 she divided her company into Jill Crossland Coaching and TimeFinders Magazine.

She has just launched Create Your Team which brings together a team of professional women with specialized expertise. As one of those team members, I wanted to celebrate with Jill the launch of this site and through the following interview share with readers, one woman’s vision. It is my hope that if you are thinking about becoming an entrepreneur or want to use your expertise in unique way Jill’s story will help you move forward.

From inception to present day Jill gives insight into how a business can evolve, the importance of paying attention to the needs of clients, the wisdom to know you don’t need to do it all on your own and her own struggles with balance. Jill is also looking for women to lend their expertise; maybe through this interview the circle of relationship building will grow.

Take us back to the beginning – At what point did you decide to start what is now Jill B. Crossland Coaching?

It was more of an evolution. Most coaching sites were rather dry and it perturbed me that once you hung up from a client session they possibly didn’t have anything else to fall back on in the way of resources, information and support.  I wanted to provide them with more depth.

When I started it was more for midlife women because I had gone into coaching as a midlife woman and had some difficulty finding the information I needed in order to take that step. So, I thought a lot of other midlife women probably feel the same.

How has your vision for the business changed over the years?

As my demographic became clearer I was able to identify my market and it grew from there. Then it emerged that I was dealing with a larger age group. They were entrepreneurs either starting their business or mid point in their business development.

You have just launched a fresh site called Create Your Team Resources for the Busy Woman. What was your goal for the site?

I wanted it be very efficient, it is about creating a support system, realizing that we can’t all do it alone. When we have made the decision that we can’t do it alone, I want the site to be the place for services, help and support.

How do I find the right website? What is the right social media? How do I find the right babysitter for me to bring on to my team so that I accomplish what I need to with my business?

I thought if I could bring these people together in one area that would be my aim. It’s in its infancy but the goal is that all the resources would be on the Create Your Team site and it would be safe. A safe area to go forth with your team members. This is about women supporting women.

What do feel are the unique needs of women that would drive them to seek out the services offered through Create Your Team?

When I first became a coach everything was about packages, it was sold in big chunks. If you wanted to hire a coach you had to commit to this amount of time and this amount of money, it was the only way you could obtain success.  It was quite overwhelming.

In both my coaching and Create Your Team it is a realization that you don’t have to have full time help. If you have a housekeeper come in once a week that may work just fine; to give you enough time to accomplish what you need to in those hours. If you talk to your coach every month or every two months that may be what you require. The uniqueness is in the realization that it doesn’t have to be a huge chunk of time or money.

You can control who you hire and when you hire them. You can control what you spend; you don’t have to be intimidated into putting out large amounts of money. Women realize they would love to have a housekeeper, or web designer on call 24/7 but they can’t.  They may work out that they can afford it four times a month or once a month.

Isn’t this about flexibility?

Yes.  I know women who say to their accountant “I can do this part but I need you to do this part, I need you at this time of year for my year end.”  Years ago we weren’t saying the words “This is what I need from you” and “This is what I can afford to pay you.” That is very freeing. It enables women to grow their business; instead of sinking all their money into an accountant they can hire a web designer too, they can balance it out.

You have expanded your team of professionals to meet the needs of women and you intend to add even more professional women to provide their expertise. What are you looking for in future team members?

We are looking for financial advisers. I’d like to see life coaches, relationship coaches and business coaches who specialize in start up. We are not only looking for virtual businesses but those that have a physical store front presence. Housekeepers and dog walkers are also needed. For example: if you have a week where you can’t walk your dog this service is helpful. If a very entrepreneurial dog walking service wants to advertise I think they would do well on our site. For the busy woman who is tied up in meetings, she can give them a call.

We are not doing products, it is all service based. Create Your Team wants people who specialize in transitions, elder care, divorce, professional organizers, and time management experts.

Every woman’s needs are different. Create Your Team is the one place she can come to find both the coach and all her other needs in one area.

You have your coaching business, TimeFinders Magazine, the Life Deco Blog and the newly launched Create Your Team website…How do you balance your time?

I keep a very rigorous schedule even though like most of you I work from a home office. I keep a very tight schedule as if I’m walking into a corporation every morning.  I’m in the process of learning that when I don’t balance everything, something has to change. Like all women I have those weeks when it just doesn’t pull together and I just let go without guilt or stress.

I have my priorities – it is clients, website, my writing. Clients always come first. At the beginning of the day I start with their needs, and then I make sure the websites are where they should be and then last is my writing. We must always give the priority to our clients.

What have you learned about yourself in the process of building up the business?

I’ve learnt what I’m good at and I’m no longer hesitant in saying “I’m very good at this” or “I’m not very good that and I need someone else to do it.” I have stopped trying to do it all. I’m very happy to turn areas of my business over to the experts in their field.

The hardest thing I’ve learned is sometimes I have to let go of something I’ve enjoyed because there is just not enough time in my day. I’ve had to cut back on a lot my writing. I don’t put articles out as much as I’d like to because I can’t find the time, I miss that.

How are you going to define success?

My success falls in three different criteria; it is not a one stop success. In my coaching practice, to be honest, it comes from a certain number of clients and an income that is steady.  For the magazine, success will come when it is more self- sufficient as I haven’t sold advertising. The success will be advertising and recruiting more writers. I’m still on the cusp, I’m not offering as much as I would like to my readers.

Create Your Team success will be when we have that full range of services to offer. When I feel we have a good selection across the board and emails coming in that say, “Thanks, this helped.” It is nice to know you made a difference. Women have to give feedback really it’s the only way to grow our business.  It is the only way to know, “Is this working” What went wrong or what went really right. Constructive criticism is a wonderful thing.

Is there anything else you would want readers to know?

You asked me earlier what I learnt and I think I would like readers to know they need to embrace their uniqueness. I am unique, you are unique, and the readers of your piece are all unique. You are sitting comfortably in that uniqueness when you recognize your own needs.

It is all very well that we go to workshops, listen to our friends and read self help books. At the end of the day, at 3 o’clock in the morning, it is you that’s lying there worried or wanting to make the right decision, facing uncertainty and that is the unique position. Every woman needs to recognize what their needs are. They are not the same needs as that speaker they just went to see, as remarkable as she may have been, take from her what you need but then make it your own.

Life is not one size fits all. Take advice but take it and make it your own.

While Jill is the person behind the inception of your Create Your Team and will remain behind the scenes as it grows; it took a team to Create a Team. Alanna Morley designed both the website and Mean Business blog. She will also be the CYT manager. IT consultant Terri Pepin keeps the site running efficiently.   Women helping women is ever apparent as Jill Crossland Coaching and Create Your Team grows.

Many thanks to Jill for taking the time for this interview and for inspiring me in so many ways to grow as a business woman.

I’m continuing my quest to convince Candice Olson to come to the west coast!

As I take my lunch break in my office I have turned on Divine Design,  this is an hour of Candice and I’m glad I took this time to eat my soup and sandwich. 

Readers know from a previous post entitled Candice Olson Divine Designer that I am a HUGE fan of this woman’s work. Right now I’m revisiting the episode where the Big Easy New Orleans style was incorporated into a couples kitchen and to see their reaction was amazing! Next we have a woman from South Africa that wants a space to be creative; a mother who wanted a room of her own. That need for an inspirational space is something I’m certain many of us can relate to and the way this was executed was nothing short of brilliant!

The problem with my obsession is like most home and garden talent featured on TV, few if any of the experts work or reside in Vancouver, BC. Sending letters probably won’t yield much chance of a visit from your favorite designer if you live on the other side of the country. That is not stopping me from trying to figure out how I can convince Candice to make a trip to my house.

I bought the Candice Olson on design book soon after it arrived in the stores. I loved the introduction which began with LIFE IS FUNNY! This is where she shared her own life/education/career transitions. She went from the sciences; psychology, biology, kinesiology, and chemistry to the arts. A four year degree in interior design has proved to be a very wise career choice. The combination of arts and science plus apparently a love of volleyball, which taught the value of teamwork, contributed to the making of a successful business. She claimed in her book “I don’t take myself too seriously” but there is no doubt that she does some seriously great designs! An interesting and fun woman.

There are few people who can make a book about home design into a life inspiring piece. Whether on the pages or the screen her personality and philosophies shine through. I may never meet this woman but what I can take away from watching her is be passionate about what you do, be realistic, surround yourself with talented and caring people both personally and professionally and have fun!

Hey Candice – Wishing you were here!

Last month I assisted with a Job Fair. For those who may be unfamiliar with job fairs it is a sponsored event that brings together both employers and job seekers for the day. Invited employers set up their booths to provide information about their business and speak directly with participants. Participants may have the opportunity to fill out applications for employment, provide and discuss their resume, become informed about the business/industry or obtain a future contact. This kind of networking can be very advantageous; providing you make a positive first impression.

As co-sponsors of this event it allowed us to work with a small group of participants from our local employment programs, prior to doors opening. We gave some last minute tips on approach and how to answer questions. Later, we got the opportunity to observe from our booth as people made their way around the room. As it was open to the public to take advantage of this opportunity, I was astounded to see just how unprofessional 80% (if not more) of the people were dressed. Jeans, running shoes, flip flops all parading in the doors. Shirts that had clearly never seen an iron and one woman who showed so much cleavage I’m not sure anyone was really listening to a word she was saying.

Mini skirts, young women with low waist pants advertising the “pre-crack stamp” as they bent over to fill in the applications. Young men who still insist that a belt is best worn around the thighs. You can’t help but watch to see if the jeans can hold on any longer or whether we are going to have scream “Bombs Away!”

To accompany the bad fashion was the blah faces; most seemingly forgetting to amp it up a notch. We observed several actually texting or taking a call right in the middle of their discussions with employers. It is clear many were uninformed about the importance of personal appearance, etiquette and body language when job hunting and interviewing.

When a person came in the room with their case of prepared materials, wearing a suit or any type of real business attire, you couldn’t help but notice. They were the minority and employers eyes (and ours) went directly to them. Given there were some high profile businesses in the public, private and not for profit sectors, whom you rarely get to see unless called for an interview, it was quite an eye opener for us. As career consultants we speak about the do’s and don’t’s of fashion when applying for jobs but who knew this many people outside of our programs didn’t get the message.

What do you wear and where do you find those clothes?

* Women: Wear properly fitting dress pants and business shirt. Skirts and blouses are preferred by some companies, business suits are also acceptable in most settings. It is important to feel comfortable in your outfit and shoes. Since you may be sitting down to talk, try seeing how that looks and feels.

* Men: Wear properly fitting pants, shirt (tie may be optional in some settings). Depending on the target job you may wear a suit and tie.

* Business casual is often accepted but casual doesn’t mean what you would wear out to the store…lean more to business.

* Bring a folder, briefcase/carrier for extra resumes, references, certifications, your own pen, business or calling cards and anything else you feel is relevant for these employers to see.

* Sometimes both men and women may be attending a fair that is heavily trades based. If jeans are what you are going to wear then at least pick ones that are clean and fit! No T-shirt, no ball caps or ratty weather beaten sport jackets.

It is not hard to find clothing for work, thrift stores and consignment stores are full of great deals. One pair of black pants or a skirt can be a great investment; worn with multiple different shirts or blouses it’s completely interchangeable.

Dress for success offers eligible women entering or re-entering the workforce their first business suit and additional apparel after securing a job. Dress for success has multiple affiliates worldwide.  Career Gear for men also provides help with interview clothing in addition to interview preparation services with affiliates in major cities across the US.  SYMS Dress to Achieve very informative site intended to help college seniors put their best shoes forward but certainly transferable to all job seekers and interviewees.

It is essential that job seekers see the value in going just that little bit further in their research of prospective companies, including how to dress. We market ourselves on paper and we market ourselves in person, whether we like it or not our appearance counts. An opportunity to meet employers in a job fair setting is rare, take advantage of that and help them remember you! Stand out from the crowd for the right reasons!

Once on the job you get to fully see the culture and dress code but until then leave the jeans and flip flops in the closet.

How do you feel about somebody receiving a promotion when clearly they didn’t deserve it?

This person or persons can’t communicate effectively, consistently doesn’t complete their projects on time or does a substandard job. They have little understanding of the mission, most of the time you see them playing catch up with the help of other staff and yet they get a promotion and an increase in pay. They can barely read, can’t spell, their math skills are non-existent and they have done nothing to warrant a promotion other than show up.

You and most of your other colleagues have fully grasped the fundamentals of your positions, seek additional training to boost your contribution and feel confident in your abilities.  However, that doesn’t matter because everyone is treated the same and the goal is to be shielded from criticism or damaged self esteem. Everyone is free to move up the ladder even if they were truly attempting to be better at their job but couldn’t grasp the position. They still were able to land right in the same position as you or even surpassed that position.

This is the state of an educational system that embraces social promotion. Afraid that little Johnny’s or Joanie’s self esteem will be destroyed it appears necessary to pass them through the school system despite the fact they have not completed the class requirements. Fearing criticism will sink Joanie’s confidence level, we’ll keep telling her that she has not failed but simply postponed her success. She can make it up next time, not to worry.

Johnny gets points just for being in class, he has a choice as to whether he will pay attention or not, he has been able to make his own choices since he was two and half years old.  Joanie had three out of ten questions right on her exam; she received a positive comment from her teacher which made her feel so good about her effort. It is not important that she or he learns it is important that he/she feels good about who they are. Johnny is graduating next year he doesn’t feel good about his job prospects and he has had difficulty filling out the job applications.

These were real examples of what is happening in today’s parental/academic world.

I, as a self esteem coach, do not subscribe to the philosophy that one is damaged by hearing criticism in fact I would encourage it. Knowing how to hear, accept and learn from criticism is important in the business world. The new age self esteem movement has blown things way out of proportion, it no longer resembles the true definitions associated with self esteem building. Everything is based on outside sources so the likelihood of self awareness is almost non-existent.

Maybe in a parents world and now in the schools, little Johnny is so “special”, but when he comes to work for a company the competition is tight. That is another downfall, the removal of competition. What a lame idea that was, to make every kid think he/she is automatically a winner. In real life there are winners and losers. By losing we learn more about ourselves, can face challenges head on which in turn makes us stronger. It is important to have something to strive for personally and professionally and it is extremely boring to think that an A can be obtained or a gold medal received by everyone no matter what they do!

Teaching children and making them accountable to someone and/or something is not cruel, it is validating. It is a true disservice when a parent or the system itself promotes a child knowing full well they are undeserving of the step forward. Do we truly think that child is not aware they are unprepared? How do they learn to feel the joy of true achievement when it is not expected? Why is it that we can give less but always want more?

Has the age of entitlement with its backlash against criticism and discipline gone to far?

I have worked with employers who have seen some challenges in employing youth. More often than not I received calls from employers because of poor attitudes on the job; the employee felt what they were asked to do was beneath them. I witnessed disrespectful language thrown back at  an employer when they provided constructive criticism. Countless stories of young women and men who can’t do basic tasks because they were never expected to do so in their own homes or in school,  so why expect them to do so on the job. Many employers felt the frustration of hiring youth because they always wanted to receive more money and bonuses without having been there long enough to warrant the increase. In other words they wanted a promotion without earning it.

Social promotion in my estimation doesn’t help a person’s self esteem and it doesn’t prepare them for a healthy, successful future. It places some parents in the position to have to fight to keep their child back knowing fully well they are not ready for the next grade. It places teachers who are opposed to it in a position to go with the status quo by inflating grades or knowingly passing a child who has not obtained the knowledge necessary to meet future requirements. It places the child in the position of being ill prepared for adult life and learning which I have seen time and time again with my own clients.

In order to be competitive in the world we must demand more from our educational system. Just because Johnny or Joanie graduates doesn’t mean she/he deserved too. It could be a case of passing along the problem and hoping it will all work out in the end. There are no winners in that game and I know as I’m am the recipient of passing grades in Math without ever having fully understood most of the lessons. It wasn’t till I graduated that I realized that was a bum deal.

Some time ago, I worked with a woman who was having difficulty finding employment. Though she had been in Canada for a number of years the work she had been doing here did not remotely resemble the skills she used in her former country. Her resume had been completed with the help of a school she attended for retraining but she didn’t seem proud of this one page resume staring back at her. When I began to ask some questions about certain information buried in it I learned half her life had vanished.

As we began to chat about her life experience I couldn’t help but ask “Why is this not on your resume.” She replied, “Well, they didn’t think it was necessary,  they told me to focus on my Canadian experience.”  (which was not relevant to the positions she was about to apply) Now, I don’t know about you but I don’t think I would feel very good nor confident with half my life missing from the page of my resume. You could clearly see how proud she was of her previous work and indeed she should be. This woman was educated, held a good professional position and demonstrated leadership in the positions she held. Somehow, this was not translatable in North America?

This is not the first time I have seen this and it always incensed me. There are ways for people to transition into work in another country without leaving their valuable experience behind. Yes, maybe there are some initial challenges and yes, unfortunately there is unwillingness to accept certain backgrounds/education as valid in the new country. However, there is usually a lack of understanding on how to obtain what they need and even after retraining in their field I have seen associations and unions fail to welcome the foreign worker.

I have had employers tell me that they wouldn’t hire immigrants because their customers wouldn’t like it. I have had employers assume clients were uneducated and didn’t understand English, due to their accent. When in fact these people had a higher education than most of the individuals they were in contact with.  With doctors working in farm fields, teachers cleaning homes and engineers working in the back of our restaurants we are really the ones with the problem, not them.

This woman, that I worked with, is a symbol to me of how the system fails to fully value the foreign workers who come to our country. When I spent the time to fully understand her background and honor it she looked up with tears in her eyes and a huge smile on her face and thanked me. What she had done before had relevancy and there were transferable skills that met the needs of the current opportunities she was exploring. On the last day of our time together she stood up from her chair and hugged me. There is no doubt in my mind that she walks a little taller knowing who she was and who she is was honored and marketable.

There is tremendous sacrifices made when one immigrates. My parents were immigrants and they made their way to Canada, gave up the citizenship and contributed well to this country. Many of the people I encounter, do the jobs you and I and our kids don’t want to do. It angers me when people treat them as if they are a burden. What makes a person a burden is when the system at large fails to prepare them for the requirements of living in their new country and then wipes half their life away to train them in something they don’t even have an interest in. Putting a roof over their head and food in their stomach motivates them to take the job/training advice but that doesn’t mean it was the right thing for us to do.

If you know someone in your community who is new to the area or country, take the time to get to know them. More often than not I have had some of the most interesting conversations and if English is their second language they are getting a chance to practice with you as normally they are afraid to try.  The world has opened up to me in ways only seen through the eyes of one who has lived it, if you worked in my field you would see; goals, dreams and holding on to who you are is just as important no matter where you came from.

Yes, you know it, can’t help but sound the trumpet, bang the drum, toot the horn join everyone with a big CONGRATULATIONS! to our women athletes. Can you believe it? They are wearing more Gold, Silver and Bronze than the male competitors….13 out of 17 medals won by these sports women.

I know, I’m on the gender bandwagon, but its me. If you want something else go to a gender neutral blog post. I’m celebrating women and sports!!

At the end of the year maybe Squire Barnes (Global TV Sports) will see fit to highlight their achievements. (still peeved about his lack of female representation) Can’t get around this one, these women are cleaning up and enjoying the results of their intense training and dedication to sports.

Yesterday, I watched as our women’s hockey team took the Gold. Today, there is some griping about them celebrating with champagne and beer on the ice after the ceremonies, whatever! Joannie Rochette, a figure skater was inspiring to watch, in the face of so much personal tragedy she still managed to achieve her goal and made everyone extremely proud. The fact that she was still competing was enough for us all, to see her skate so beautifully was remarkable. Our hearts opened with compassion in learning about her mother’s passing and then sang with her achievement. Clara Hughes, she sets the bar even higher as she has won medals for cycling and speed skating in both the winter and summer Olympics. Add in a famous Jennifer moment -- Jennifer Heil the freestyle skier enjoys the nations praise with her silver medal. It’s all good!

There are more women to list here but maybe at the end of it all I will compile the list of names and raise a toast to womankind. Why?….because we in North America have been accepted into the sports world (though there is room for improvement, I’ll leave out referencing battles here) but there are women in many other countries that are still struggling to get started. Funding/support for women sports in many parts of Europe still lags behind and imagine what it is like for other less developed countries. Interest  abounds but support does not. By seeing what women can do, it may open the doors for the younger generation to pursue their dreams of enjoying a sport, representing their team or even standing on an Olympic podium.

These women serve as inspiration, role models and hope.  They are clearly worth the investment. I’m happy for all the world athletes male and female but as always get myself just a little higher when I see women breaking records and exceeding expectations.  For all the women athletes well in our past; that risked all, put up with countless stupid comments, were segregated and sometimes humiliated, pursued the dream and designed the team…Vancouver’s 2010 Olympics shows your efforts to open the door was worth it!

Babe Didrikson Zaharius was my role model when I was growing up. I saw one film about her and never forgot her name. She inspired me to run and for many years I enjoyed long distance running and many other sports. Check out the following to learn more about this great Olympian.

target="_blank">Babe Didrikson

Lose 100 pounds of stress fat, Body after Baby, How she lost the weight after pregnancy, Curb your cravings, Flat Sexy Abs, Your hormones your weight…shall I go on or are you already sucking in the stomach muscles and gearing up for the gym.

The minute you stand in a checkout the eye can’t help but scan the magazine covers. If not reading the latest headline about Brad and Angelina or the sex lives of the chronically relationship disabled, we are most likely catching a glimpse of what the body could look like if we did……something.

Wading in the sea of bikini wearing, air brushed stars and models I couldn’t help but laugh inside about the irony of loading our carts with food only to get a dose of why not to have bought most of it in the first place. Maybe the trick is to use the time wisely as you enter the aisles of doom.

I have some ideas for the next visit on how we can go from passive shopper to workout wonder!

1. After properly sanitizing the handle on your cart (yuk!) grip it hard and release, grip hard and release, repeat… do at least 3 reps of ten.

2. In the vegetable section, with bag in hand, lunge toward the back of the fruit and vegetable sections with a strong reach. Lift back leg slightly off the floor and reach forward. Not only will you get a stretch into the leg and arms but the freshest fruits and vegetables are placed at the back anyway.

3. Squat down, tighten that butt as you reach to the lower shelf for that can of green beans. Just doing a quick bend over doesn’t cut it, feel those buns contract and release as you squat for each item.

4. If your laundry soap comes in a plastic container with a handle, do three quick bicep curls per arm.

5. This is more of resistance training….avoid the cake aisle. Realize the happy wishes and icing colours are just trying to draw you in, resist I say. Take that opportunity to tighten the abs and release, tighten, release.

It is important to realize that all those supposedly happy, weightless, tanned, perky breasted, wrinkle free, washboard abs, buns of steel, yummy mommies and models are not much different than the rest of us. Except, they have a good plastic surgeon, an overpaid physical trainer, in house chef or the finances to buy better, magnified body image pressure, good technology  to air brush the flaws and enhance the appeal, the best hair, expensive makeup to cover everything, regular spa treatments and a wardrobe stylist so they don’t have to think about what to wear.  Other than all of that they are just like the rest of us.

Maybe it would be fun to explore what it would be like if magazines were covering men:

Lose that beer gut, From couch bum to tight buns, Exercise your way back into that Speedo (OK, bad visual), Minding your midlife spread, Burn off those sympathy pregnancy pounds, Lose your remote control lose weight, How to perk up your pecs.    —-- Of course each magazine would have the tanned twenty something year old guy on the cover.

I’m not mocking being healthy that is good, but it is even better to be a great human being. So, here are the tags for my mock magazine:

You don’t need flat abs to accomplish your goals

Size only matters if you let it

Fake anything is just that, “fake” -- finding your authentic self

The minute your born you’re dying -- fighting age is a waste of energy

Live life in the temple you were given.

So, next time we all walk into that store, cruise the aisles and get spit out at the other end for a walk down body image lane; take a deep breath and know you don’t have to buy what their selling.

target="_blank">Dove Evolution

What was your first job and what did it teach you?

The first job we have is such a profound marker in life, a coming of age moment. The cutting of the chord, as it were, from our parents and a real indicator life is about to be very different. I have had many conversations with people about their first job and by virtue of being a career counselor/coach I have also been present at an individuals first leap into the world of work. What always intrigues me is how we get started and how we progress from those humble beginnings.

My first job was in retail. Working for one of the largest and most popular jean company Bootlegger. It was initially a challenge for me as I wasn’t always comfortable with pressure sales and up-selling; it felt a little like I was pushing the limits of trust between customer and clerk. What got me past my reservations was the all important first pay cheque, in addition to keeping a roof over my head and food in my stomach. Fresh out of high school and now independent it became an essential quality to look at the bigger picture as there was nobody else to blame if I failed to pay my rent.  I quickly learned that money wasn’t everything, there was more to a job and paycheque than meets the eye.

Many very famous people had some less than glamorous jobs but important starts. Gwen Stefani from the group No Doubt worked at Dairy Queen cleaning the floors. Kirstie Alley known for her role on the hit television show Cheers was a housekeeper; in an interview with Oprah she shared her knowledge of the best ways to clean a home. Barbara Walters was a secretary in an office before she began her career in journalism. Queen Latifah who has made her mark as a singer and actor worked at Burger King. Suze Orman the financial guru worked as a waitress. In fact, there were many cooks, waitresses, retail clerks and secretaries. Maya Angelou the brilliant poet and writer started out similarly but one interesting note was the distinction of being the first black female streetcar conductor in San Francisco.

What did my first job teach me? I certainly understood more about my values and developed skills I previously didn’t know I had. I used the word trust earlier when describing my interaction with customers, but really it was the importance of placing myself in other peoples’ shoes. Whether somebody came to me to get an honest opinion on buying an item or for advice the lesson I concluded was to be authentic. Fake just doesn’t cut it. I also now empathize with those that serve others as I know what it’s like being behind the counter.

Here are some other important things learned:

1.Strong work ethic: by working hard, pushing through challenge, putting in the time and showing willingness to learn, many doors can open.

2.Validation: I liked Kirstie speaking about being validated for her contribution as the housekeeper. She was able to take pride in her work and know that it was important and the skills obtained would be used many times in life. She shared “It gave me a vision for my own home.”

3. Making average great: Suze Orman profoundly remarked about how being a waitress helped her discover happiness. She stated “I learned that when you make average great, your dreams can become a reality.”

4. Perspective:  The first job can give you perspective. Life up to that point has been fairly structured and blinders were firmly attached. The first job opens us up the opportunity to find deeper meaning and understanding about self and others.

5. The Journey: None of the famous people noted or anyone I know had instantaneous success. Contrary to popular belief we don’t get to become CEO overnight. Starting at the bottom and working our way up has a lot of benefits. Maybe the pocket book is lighter but the experience and exposure to what and who can make a big difference is the long term gain.

6. Mentors Matter: Mentors are truly the unsung hero’s in our career development. The biggest impact on our professional lives whether youth or adult can often be found in a person who took the time to see the potential.

7. Money isn’t everything: Though there are famous women and men who have enjoyed huge success and now live life comfortably financially, it wasn’t the pursuit of the next dollar that got them there. Finding the joy, listening to the right people, setting goals and working hard brings us closer to the life we want.

Here’s something else from the book of Jennifer

- Nobody owes us nothing but if we trace backward we may find we owe someone something. It is usually gratitude for their wisdom, patience and willingness to take a chance on us. With naivety firmly intact we begin the career path. It doesn’t matter whether you are selling jeans, flipping burgers, wearing work boots or a hair net there is learning in everything we do. Nothing is beneath us except solid ground in which to start building upon.

What did your first job teach you?

Today, I attended a Chamber of Commerce meeting with a guest speaker whose expertise was in social media. Clearly, there is a lot to learn especially if you are a business. Conversations and community building has come a long way and just when you think you are tapped into this community something new comes along.

There is a whole lot of different names to go with this media world, some of which only made sense to me after he explained what they do. Slideshare, Digg, Ning, Scribd all were under my radar until listening to this speaker. I also learned where not to devote my time as a business owner, some things lean heavily to certain demographs and may not be suitable.

I’m not on Facebook, as I keep hearing conflicting information about the effectiveness and privacy issues. Outside of finding long lost friends is it worth my time? In fact, many times when I talk to people it is in the context of finding old buddies or ex partners where it appeals most. Now, I couldn’t do my job or be the friend I am without being a people person, but somehow I felt Facebook may just open me up to a whole lot of people I care not to know. Having said that, if there is a compelling reason to get my message out further and Facebook was the best avenue, I, like many others may go that route.

Did you know that Canadians are the biggest user of Facebook? I found out that people over 65 are growing in numbers as users of the site. (Guess they don’t have to worry about what pictures they put up after they retire)

Twitter, interesting. A colleague of mine says she has found it quite useful, I may need to explore it but again I’m undecided. I enter into all these areas with great hesitation and questions – Who is looking? What is the benefit? Do I need to know you or you me? Is what I have to say worth it? Is this just adding more to my under-developed but over-exposed techno mind? Thus causing a large amount of stress as I find the time and the inclination to be “socially” in touch.  Tweet ….”in my office debating whether to tweet or not to tweet.”

Then we have to use social media measurement tools, now I’m using tools to track who is tracking me. My head is spinning, how am I going to facilitate, write, coach/counsel, have personal time with all of this? Apparently, everyone has time for their job, marketing, blogging, facebooking (?) , tweeting and being Linkedin.

Then there is “followers” now that would have been considered very cult like years ago but now we encourage and rejoice in the number of followers we have and we follow too. Sure we are not handing our flowers or shaving our heads and there is no compound except if you count this box we are all happily typing into everyday. It is a shared experience for sure, we are sharing a lot of personal things like one big happy family, just not our money. If you make more money from any of these sites it is all yours!

Yes, it was quite the learning experience for me today. Great to be informed, off to do more research on all the social media sites and will try to pick those that keep me connected but not too much. I need a life.