Category Archives: Self-Esteem

Self-esteem coaching articles

I always wanted to be…

If there is one statement I hear a lot from people it is “I always wanted to be a …….” What follows the description is the word “but,” which we all know is the intro to the reasons why they have not pursued their dream job. At some point in our life we have uttered those same words to a friend or partner. We merrily describe what interests us about our dream job or how it would change our life but then what I like to call “unverified reality,”  steps in to burst the bubble.

Unverified reality is when we create this world for others to hear about that supports our position without ever verifying facts. This false reality is designed to mask fears, lack of research and unwillingness to act. I’m not sure that we are fooling anyone because there are plenty of examples of people beating the odds to reach their goals.The truth is if we really wanted to be something, we could. If only we had spent less time talking about it and more time pursuing it.

Everything that needs to be done to become who you wish to be must be self-generated. Stop being your own worst enemy. That sounds harsh, doesn’t it? However, that is where all of us have stood, in the way of ourselves. Self esteem plays a huge role in all of this and therefore it is important to get support. There is no magical pill or expert opinion that can fast track your career. If you are expecting an easy way to your dream job, think again. This ain’t Hollywood’s version of what it takes to rise to the top.

Sometimes our dream job isn’t even possible. I may think that I will be the next winner of The Voice which will then parlay into a multimillion dollar music career but maybe my best is not good enough.  I might have been on the way to becoming an NHL star but an injury occurred and now I’m unable to reach that goal. What I want to be and what I can be may be very different. Barriers exist, one dream ends and an alternative begins. I would have to assess if or how I can work in that industry and be around the sights, sounds and smells I love but in a different way.

If you always wanted to be a…..,then here are some firm sounding tips:

* Do your research. Find out if it is possible to get employment in that field.

* If the research pans out and you need to go back to school then find a way. Stop talking and start educating yourself. Sure, it may take a while but in the end you are doing what you love.

* Stop caring about what others think. If they can’t support you then find a true friend that will or business mentor.

* Get help for the emotional baggage that keeps good people like yourself in a perpetual state of giving up before you really begin. If you want to spend more time rehashing your experiences as a student in high school, self identify with labels for why you are the way you are or stay on the loop of childhood, marriage or employment failures it is going to be a long haul. You are worth more than that so when you are ready we will welcome you to the now!

* Know that success is created one logical step at a time so stop trying to take giant leaps or skirt under the fence.

* You have likely over 80 years to grow as a person, learn from the best and embrace your talents so please stop saying you don’t have time.

By the way, I give myself this same advice all the time.

 

 

Book Review of Choices and Illusions

The next time you find yourself asking the question “What’s my purpose?” or feeling like others are to blame for your circumstances in life you may want to consider reading Choices and Illusions – How Did I Get Where I Am, and How Do I Get Where I Want to Be? by Eldon Taylor.

This isn’t just another self-help book. It is a weave of one man’s journey, an introduction to the science of the mind and a common sense approach to self-improvement. Written from a first person point of view, Taylor creates a personal connection between himself and the reader. He manages to draw attention to various scientific studies along with spiritual research, hypnosis, subliminal messaging and other psychological references to illustrate the choice and illusion concept.

For those that don’t just want to read about how to tap into their potential, Mr. Taylor has also provided multiple interactive exercises that can produce “Wow!” moments. Though some readers may have been exposed to mind manipulation or visual illusion exercises it never gets old being reminded of the brain’s ability to process more than we give it credit for. Eldon Taylor uses his study of the mind, his education in psychology and metaphysics along with his background as a criminalist to provide solid takeaways.

It would be hard for a reader not to turn down the corners of several pages. Take, for instance, the following two chapters: What We Perceive And Fail To Perceive (chapter five) and Psychological Defense Mechanisms (chapter six).  Many of you may have heard of or tried the visual illusion(s) in which you stare at dots in the middle of a picture that doesn’t look like much at all. Then when you look away and stare at a blank surface you see a face, a bird or something else that was not previous visible.   Taylor makes a good point, “The important thing here for you to realize is that if your senses can trick you in that way, what can you really trust? He goes on to say, “…then it becomes more conceivable that many other things that you hold to be true may in fact not be so and your journey to finding yourself can actually begin.” (page 37)

Another interesting piece of wisdom came in Chapter 9: A Simple Model of Mind and Behavior. It begins with the line, “When I have spoken to inmates, they all have stories and persons or events on which to blame their life errors.” (page 85) There isn’t a person out there that can’t say either they or someone they know tells similar stories of blame. Part way through Taylor reminds us that “As long as we blame, we effectively rob ourselves of our own empowerment.” (page 86) Then there was this, “…There are essentially two ways to be tied up in the world. Someone can physically bind you or you can hold on to some thread and refuse to pull it hard enough to break it, and you are just tethered as if you were actually tied. Holding on to blame is the same as being tied up. Until it is released, there is nothing you can do about anything, because, after all, it’s not your fault.” (page 93)

Many interesting aspects of our consciousness are explored along with hive consciousness and media’s control over us. In Chapter 14: The Courage to Challenge Yourself we are reminded about the impact of the information highway that consumes our life. I loved the reference made to the power of a “media-ocracy.” “The media engineers our ambitions, our habits, and our wants.” (page 153)

Mr. Taylor also provides extensive credits to others with constant references to their work or quotes that are relevant to the concepts he is addressing. Further resources and his Unlimited Personal Power CD are also included. With this approach you get the sense he isn’t just spouting advice but rather sharing a field of study.

Having said that I also believe that much of what you read in the self-help genre has been said hundreds of times. The quotes become familiar, the feel good stories and cheerleading titles are expected. After a person’s initial commitment to change comes the inevitable return to old beliefs and habits.

I won’t lie and say Choices and Illusions doesn’t have what I have just described. However, I will say it holds a lot more in the form of introducing readers to the vast array of research that supports one’s ability to see their world differently. In my quest to be fair to readers I will offer a couple of criticisms of the book:

1. Some of Mr. Taylor’s stories took over. I felt I was being strung along from chapter to chapter waiting for the conclusion. By the time that came I had forgotten the original point.

2. His constant references to his other books was distracting. Mr. Taylor stated in the preface that this was done to benefit those who wish to explore certain areas in great depth but it came across like a sales job.

In the end this book opens a reader to a personal journey in which Eldon Taylor offers examples from his own life and professional experience. He illustrates the choices we make, the illusions we live under and the consequences of both. You get a sense of his passion for exploring the mind and how that passion translated into a successful career. Choices and Illusions – How Did I Get Where I Am, and How Do I Get Where I Want to Be? gives the reader the potential to understand that change is possible if you tap into your masterful mind and to accept that your power really does lie within.

Eldon Taylor

Choices and Illusions – How Did I Get Where I Am, and How Do I Get Where I Want to Be?

United States: Hay House, Inc. 2013

Hardcover ISGN:978-1-4019-4338-7

239pages

 

Shedding The Good Girl Image

Miley Cyrus was the one of many poster girls for the innocence of childhood. She spent her young life nurturing an image that was identifiable to little girls and parent approved. Then like many of her predecessors there came a time when she needed to transition from girl to woman. For any of the rest of us that are not in the public eye this could be done slowly, getting to know ourselves, adjusting to the changes in our body and dealing with our feelings over time. For girls like Miley, who are surrounded by “Yes” and “Do it” people, coming-of-age and navigating the complexities of a women’s identity may look very different.

Her recent performance at the 2013 Video Music Awards left little doubt that Miley is on a crusade to shed her good girl image and has chosen (or been coached) to do so by selling her sexuality. Described as a girls gone wild act she twerked and tongue lashed her way through two songs. Instead of receiving positive reviews of her show, she received criticism and pity. One of the songs was a duet with Robin Thicke and after looking up the lyrics I can understand why some might question the choices she has made. Even Cyndy Lauper who was known for her ‘masturbation’ song and creative performances, did not have anything good to say about Miley’s show. (See below for a link to Cyndy’s comments aired on an Australian radio show) I have seen Cyndy Lauper in concert and I have enjoyed her music for many years but she never appeared to be anything else than what she was, an artistic and thoughtful songwriter, singer and performer.

This is where the struggle begins for girls who find themselves cast in a role that no longer fits either with their peers or within the backdrop of society. There is more pressure today for girls to use their sexuality to get ahead than in any other time in history. It is no longer about sexual freedom or freedom of expression as it has more to do with a new kind of conformity. Conform to porn. Buried in all of this hype about a slutty look and performance is the belief that in order to transform from girl to woman one must do so with a persona that sells a fantasy. Stripping down to barely legal and adopting behaviour that stems from porn imagery, girls and women try their best to be noticed. It has become a strange competition with a message, “Comply or be cast out!”

Like boys who have no right of passage within our culture that helps them move with pride towards manhood, girls have very little assistance in navigating the road to womanhood. What happens is outside influences that have more to do with profit or people with little interest in a girls well-being, step up to provide direction. If you are a vulnerable girl who wants to shed one look for another, ditch the virgin image and try on something more provocative there are plenty of ways to get it done. The problem is you can’t win. Shedding the good girl image often means girls give up more than they bargained for and learn little about what it means to be a woman. Often what rises to the surface is embarrassment, low self-esteem, powerlessness and I might add sadness.

In my opinion, Miley Cyrus is a good example of how a young woman is still not accepting of her entire being. She traded one extreme image for another and when she does that neither she nor anyone else can see who Miley the woman really is…but then maybe she doesn’t know.

Cyndy Lauper’s comment about Miley’s performance

 

What Breast Cancer Taught Me

ID-10061252This blog deals with a very personal topic that has greatly affected me and my family. At one point I hesitated to bring it forward but then I realized there was more to the story of breast cancer than the declarations of cancer’s presence and treatment decisions.

Taking it beyond the hellish ride it puts an individual through, came an opportunity to examine how breast cancer can change our own perception about our breasts. Join me on a journey to loving my body more than I did a year ago and help me honor women who continue to fight breast cancer.

(picture provided by freedigitalphotos.net)

One of the hardest things a person can hear from their physician is the words “You have cancer.” In January of 2013 two women in my immediate family were diagnosed with breast cancer and so began the journey. They did not have the same type of breast cancer so they took a different path when it came time for treatment. One would have the tumours removed, still keep her breast and begin chemotherapy. The other would undergo a radical mastectomy with no treatments to follow as this very rare cancer appears not to respond to chemo, hormonal or radiation therapies.

When cancer struck my family I went from the initial shock through to turning all my attention to their needs. I tried to suppress the “What ifs.” Afraid that I may be some force in the world, I rejected  as best as I could every negative thought that came my way. I did not want any negative energy to be the cause of more discomfort.  With the pace of pre and post appointments, emotions that descended upon my loved ones and myself,  along with calls to everybody who wanted to be kept in the loop there could have been little time to consider one’s own health. Instead it became more of a focus.

I had always considered myself someone who had embraced life especially after a previous near death experience but that didn’t mean I was always kind to my body. Whether through youthful idiocy or adult pressures there were certainly times when stress was high and coping was low. Though I have come to know that most cancers are not hereditary it still made me assess am I doing all I can to treat my temple well. So began my efforts to step up the laughter, reduce the stressors, incorporate yoga back into my day and be conscious of my breath. Interestingly, I feel I was more prepared for the challenges that our family was facing then I would have been a year ago. Now the mind and body connection was foremost in my thinking.

Besides my increased awareness of biology and belief came another interesting awakening attributed solely to breast cancers arrival. I learned to fully love my breasts. Once cancer and breasts became the topic of every conversation I couldn’t help but think differently about my own.  I always had a love-wish relationship with my breasts.  From girlhood to womanhood I have comparatively assessed their appearance usually to standards set by a whole host of outside influences.  For the most part I have been happy with their appearance but there have been many a time when I had wished for something “better.” In  conversations with other women on the topic of breasts each woman would throw in her  opinion on what she likes and what she would change.

When I watched the women I love grapple with the reality that their breasts will be either disfigured or removed,  it changes the way I saw my own body.  The breasts were no longer used to attract a partner, to show off in an outfit or for feeding babies. Instead their significance became about life, death and their natural beauty. Now, I could care less what others think of my breasts or how they have changed as the years have passed. The only thing I think about is how thankful I am to have my breasts free of cancer.  Watching breasts become more of a ticking time bomb than a feminine body part changed my perspective completely. I stand before the mirror now and think how beautiful they are.

However, if by chance in the future, I sit in a colourless office with a white coated Doctor, holding results of a scan in a file, pulling up a chair so she can tell me, “You have breast cancer”, I will know that I am not alone.  As these months have passed I have seen multiple women escorted to examination rooms in gowns, saw a cancer centre filled with families waiting alongside their loved one as they met with countless specialists. I understand the helpless feeling that takes over as you watch the gurney take them away to an awaiting surgeon and follow the after-care that is both psychological and physical. It is only through this journey that I have seen the most intense sadness, overwhelming anger, debilitating fear and incredible bravery displayed by women in my life. Yes, breast cancer has taught me and those I love a lot; I only wish the lesson could have been less invasive.

 

 

 

You Look Marvelous: What a style & image consultant can do for you

It is hard to deny that fashion plays a key role in our lives, unless of course you are a nudist. Since most of us are not conducting business or pleasure in the buff deciding what to wear can be a daunting task. As I rummaged through my own closet lately I was struck by how many pieces hang there untouched. The other day I flung at least six outfits onto the bed looking for the right look for a casual business appointment.  In the end I put on something that just didn’t feel right.

I took transit into the city and noticed so many interesting outfits worn by fashion savvy young women and I couldn’t help but think “I used to be like them; putting more effort into my fashion choices,” “Where did they buy that?” and “Would I look good in that outfit?”

The fact is I feel some days like I have lost my sense of fashion direction. I’m not sure what to wear and trying on clothes at the stores often turns into an exercise in frustration. I know I’m not alone in the quest to find the perfect pieces to compliment my body and lifestyle. The good news is we don’t have to be famous to enjoy the expertise of a personal stylist or image consultant because there are people like Diana Kilgour who can come to our rescue. 

choosingclothes

What is a personal style and image consultant? A person who knows how to bring out the best in her client’s appearance and manner. I do it by working with clothing and accessories that uniquely suit a person’s lifestyle, colouring, shape and size; suggesting improvements in speech, body language or posture if needed. It’s about impression management and equipping someone to live a freer, more confident life. Some people call me a personal shopper, dresser or stylist.

A good personal style and image consultant is a combination of three things: Caring friend with great taste who wants you to be happy and successful in life and isn’t afraid to tell you the truth, in a constructive and positive way.

Fairy-godmother who is able to help you transform your appearance so that you’ll fit in at the ball, in the office, at the resort or even the gym. Ensuring that your wardrobe and style formula is uniquely yours and not a carbon copy of others.

Consumer advocate who helps you make the best choices with your wardrobe dollars. I work for you, not for any particular store, so I can take you shopping anywhere and your long term satisfaction with your clothes is what I aim for.

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5 ideas to help with life’s challenges

laptopThroughout our life we are faced with challenges. Sometimes we can see a challenge coming and sometimes we don’t. Sometimes they are easy to solve and sometimes there not so easy. No matter how challenges surface there are healthy ways to tackle them head on without feeling too overwhelmed.

There is no denying that the majority of people I meet who are stalled in their careers tend to suffer at some point from analysis paralysis. The challenges faced by the unemployed can grow quickly, the days and nights are filled with more questions than answers and pretty soon life is far more complex than one previously thought.

Friends and family may step in to offer suggestions, the unemployment office might be breathing down your neck to get job searching, bills are piling up, the want ads are thinning out or what was once a great idea to pursue a passion quickly turned into more work than anticipated.

When it comes to employment or life challenges I find it helps to visualize a pie. Not the kind you eat but instead a structured pie shape. Then divide up the pie and place in each portion one challenge you’re facing.

1. Identify the challenge. Examples of challenges: Job, Time, Education, Financial, Experience, Energy, Depression, Child care or Health. (Portion your challenges) This is a visual cue as to how much is actually going on and can often help you to understand more fully why you are feeling so overwhelmed.

2. Figure out the level of control you personally have over this challenge. There are challenges within our control and some that are dependent on others to take action. Example: You have approached your bank for a loan and you have filled out the necessary paperwork. Now, the bank is in control and will take action. You had a financial challenge, you took control of the situation and now it is in someone else’s hands. Each step requires you to assess how much is within your control.

piechart

3. Accept that if one or more of your challenges is firmly outside of your control then it is better to focus your efforts on those you can. What is the point in spending your precious energy on something that is dependent on another person. Take a look at the pie and itemize what is the priority 1, 2, 3 etc. This is based on YOUR ability to take control and make some headway. Often just by working on one particular challenge it happens to knock off two others when it is solved.

4. After reviewing your challenges it is good to do an honest assessment of self and determine whether you are ready to take action. Often times we can get caught up in talking about a challenge but fail to commit to doing anything about it. Fear and procrastination may have taken up shop in your world and they aren’t easily swayed to move on.  You can talk all you want about wanting change but if you don’t move to EFFECTIVE and INFORMED action everything will remain the same.

5. You may need more information or help from others but finding solutions and action planning is integral to your success. When I said effective and informed action, I meant it. Cut your self some slack! Sometimes we don’t know the answers, sometimes we revolve in the same circle because we really can’t find a way out. That is OK to admit. So, part of your action may be making a strategic call to someone who does have an answer.

There is no challenge that is insurmountable. It just takes the willingness to segment out our life and career challenges, to gain a clear perspective, establish control and to be ready to move forward one step at a time.

Here’s to not trying to eat a whole pie in one sitting and to a full night of sleep!

 

You’ve Lost your Job – How are you feeling?

laid offIf you lived long enough to know job loss than you also know the emotional roller coaster ride that follows. The ease in which you go through this phase is for the most part dependent on whether you initiated the change or the company made the decision for you. If losing your job was involuntary then a whole host of feelings could rise to the surface.

Though we are talking about work it still doesn’t shield us from potentially falling head first into the stages of grief ~

1. Denial: Even if you knew something might be coming your way it is quite common to cast those thoughts off to the side. Everyone of us probably would rather dance with denial than face the bigger question about what comes next. Denial has its place in the process, mainly as part of the coping strategy. We can only take on so much and sometimes it seems prudent to just take on what we can moment to moment.

2. Anger: When something feels like it is totally out of our control, things can get a little heated. You might be angry towards your employer but you could also resent fellow colleagues. Anger can feel powerful but it is also the revealer. As you walk through the fire it connects you to the deepest part of your pain and confusion. It is intensely personal and sometimes we need outside assistance just to understand all that is being said and felt.

3. Bargaining: This tool is pulled out of the box to deal with uncertainty. This is where you may try saying “Maybe if I do…” or “Is there some way we can come to an agreement on…” Possibly you rehash your work days trying to look for things you could have done differently to prevent this outcome. Circling in reflective resistance you get stuck in an endless loop of “What if I…” You are stuck in neutral and at some point you must shift into drive. Bargaining your way through the past is keeping you from accepting the reality and certainly doesn’t make way for the future. Plus it’s really tiring.

4. Depression: Speaking of tired, depression is not uncommon with people who have just lost their jobs. I want you to know that the shock, worry and self-doubt can catch up with you and sadness can take over. You may experience a sense of failure and other deep feelings to which you respond by wanting to pull the covers over your head and hope nobody can find you. This is normal, as you have experienced a loss and depending on the investment you made in your job it can really hit home. Many people have been conditioned to avoid this phase by taking medication or other substances but depression is a necessary step in healing. You have a right to your feelings and taking time to acknowledge their existence and find support to work through them, is the best gift you can give yourself. Be open to learning about all parts of yourself including the seemingly ugly side; you will be stronger.

5. Acceptance: When you accept your job loss it doesn’t mean you need to be fine with it. I think we can all agree that there is always some residual effects from hearing you are fired or laid off. What acceptance means is that you can start to explore again, maybe try new things, take a bit of risk and begin to see the wisdom in starting again. You can free up valuable personal resources to invest in others, especially those that can help you take necessary steps towards new job prospects, further education or developing new interests. Make a conscious effort not to take your negative emotions with you to your next opportunity. Move out-of-the-way of yourself and try to trust again.

Let me tell you the one thing I have learned after countless hours counselling people in the area of career development…everyone has transferable skills! You may not be feeling it yet or even know what they are but there is more to explore and you have more to give. When you reach the point where you can take that next step towards a new job or new adventure, you can pull from your life experiences and professional expertise.

Often that which challenges us the most became the mirror that showed us just how special we are.

Natural Pregnancy: Connecting with Nature

This weeks guest blogger is Katie Moore – Learn how Katie incorporated nature and exercise throughout her pregnancy, to overcome boredom and enjoy her own company. 

I have always been an adventurous person, and as newlyweds my husband and I would take weekend trips to the country to hike and explore new state parks and attractions. I loved being outside, and I loved the together time it afforded us. Both of us had hectic work schedules, so this was something we could only do on weekends or holidays. I never ventured out by myself because I always figured I would be bored.

Once I was pregnant with my first child (and home from work on maternity leave), I truly was bored. I took an extended maternity leave so I could focus on having a healthy pregnancy and take time to enjoy carrying my child, but more than often I felt bored, restless, and lonely. I would sit and read pregnancy books, watch television, and wait for my husband to get home. Being pregnant and alone wasn’t what I thought it would be.

One day my husband suggested I go take a walk on one of our favorite trails at the state park while he was at work. At first I dismissed the idea because I thought it would make me further isolated, but I also wanted my baby to get some fresh air! I had been staying active by doing prenatal exercise video routines, but they felt stuffy and strange. Once I was on the trail, I felt a peace I hadn’t since I found out I was pregnant. I felt connected with nature, motherhood, and myself. I liked that everything was quiet, and I could hear the sounds of my walking and feel my baby kicking. For the first time, I enjoyed the fact that I was pregnant.

For expecting moms, I would recommend getting outside just once a week. You can use the time to think about how your pregnancy is going, the state of different relationships, what you think being a mom will really be like. There are many decisions that must be made as a new mom; what brand of diapers, deciding on cord blood banking, when to return to work and so much more. You can even talk directly to your baby – it wasn’t for me (I tried), but I know it’s helpful for a lot of people.

pregnancy natureYou don’t have to try anything out of the ordinary. A simple walk through a forest or park will remind you why you wanted to bring a life into the world in the first place. It definitely was a much more uplifting way for me to stay healthy than watching videos in my living room.  Incorporating natural exercise into your life is also cost-effective.

The gym memberships, products, and exercise kits are great for some people, but I moved more when I got out the door. It is advised that low- to moderate-intensity exercise while pregnant is important for keeping your lungs and heart healthy, so it is important to find something you enjoy doing.

I’m glad I tried more naturalistic exercise during my pregnancy because it helped me prepare emotionally for motherhood, and it helped me enjoy my own company. I still try to go for walks alone, although now that my daughter is born, I’m normally pushing the stroller.

 ~

Katie Moore has written and submitted this article. Katie is an active blogger who discusses the topics of, motherhood, children, fitness, health and all other things Mommy. She enjoys writing, blogging, and meeting new people! To connect with Katie contact her via her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter, @moorekm26

 

Write Your Own Bill of Rights

Before we can expect to GET WHAT WE WANT we first have to RECOGNIZE WHAT WE WANT. How about writing your own Bill of Rights?

Women tend to be far more in tune with the needs of others than their own needs. They can identify what their friends and family value, help them to cultivate their interests and establish quite quickly how to get them what they want. But when it comes to recognizing and communicating their own wants and needs things can get a little muddled. 

Though often put on the back burner, we (women) do have a right to our desires and the right to ask for them to be met. One of the first places to look at is our values as they have the ability to create awareness of what we want. Values are guides and what we consider to be important in our life. Values like:

Honesty, integrity and loyalty

Family, marriage or parenthood

Ideas, logic or wisdom

Play, self expression and spontaneity

Status, recognition or power

Once we have established what we truly value we can address our rights and they become the codes we live by. Both values and rights are not something that we give up easily nor change as soon as we walk out our front door. Personal rights are important to establish within our family, relationships, work and community. Take for instance this scenario:

You are sitting in the doctor’s examination room for over 30 minutes with that little paper gown on. By the time he/she comes in the room you are cold and frustrated, maybe even angry. Are you able to speak up for yourself? Would you know what to say? or Would you say nothing and then drive all the way home in your car talking to yourself about what you should have said?

NotebookSpeaking up for our rights or articulating what we want can be difficult so this is why we must first be clear on what we expect. Here are some examples:

The right to make our own decisions

The right for our time to be respected

The right to change our mind

The right to be listened to

The right to say no and not feel guilty

The right to equality in our profession

The right to be treated with respect

Women are strong and any thoughts to the contrary are simply not true. However, a perception of lack of strength can come from our inability to communicate, without hesitation, what we want. This is why I encourage you to brainstorm what your Bill of Rights would look like. Try to come up with at least five rights that are important to you. Keep going if you can from 1 to whatever the end number will be.

When you are able to identify your personal rights you are standing firmly with your truth and have a far greater chance of getting what you want from life. The people you attract, the places you will go, the opportunities that come your way will be more likely to represent who you are. Your voice will be stronger thus allowing you to speak up when necessary and communicate assertively rather than aggressively. Of course, you do have the right to be aggressive and the right  to defend yourself and that is what makes this list your own. Enjoy the process and if you are open to sharing some of your Bill of Rights with the rest of us, I welcome it!