Archive for the ‘Charities & Foundations’ Category

It has taken me time to process what is happening in Haiti right now. I have long since learned that sometimes a story or event needs time to unfold so as to better understand it. Our Internet explodes with everyone talking about the earthquake, researching or contributing to Haiti.

Each night since the earthquake hit I found myself, as I climbed into bed, silently realizing how lucky I truly am. I thought about the thousands of people who were going through another night wandering the dark streets, with no food, water or anything else but the clothes on their back. No comfortable bed like I was about to lay down in, no partner to hold or child to kiss goodnight.

If I was in that place, life would look so different and I might have this to share with you:

There is no job for me to go to, call to make, no distractions to shift reality or entertainment to use as an escape. No chance to call a friend or text with trivial updates. What I wear is no longer important, who I am and what I believe is inconsequential. I can vote for nothing and my money (if I have any) barely will help my cause. My safety from dawn to dusk keeps me in a constant state of stress. I am tired but I am afraid to sleep. I have nothing left as my world struggles to be rebuilt from the rubble around me. I’ve never seen anything like it and I don’t want to see anymore.

This is something that most of us will never know, thankfully this suffering may never touch our lives. However, nothing is certain and it is important that when such tragedies befall our fellow world citizens that we not lose sight of the mission.

The mission is to find a way to ease the pain, provide the necessary support in whatever way we can. To not forget at the end and beginning of each day that what we do can impact positively or negatively anyone or anything. We can provide money and aid which is so vitally needed but we must also know that this will be ongoing. It is hard in a world where there are so many who “need” and a small few who have so much power and money that could easily change the course of their lives.

Right now we raise money to erect statues in honor of people who have long since left our midst or give statues to recognize people who are only doing their jobs. Their contribution was greatly appreciated but we could have used the money for a greater purpose, one that may better represent what they stood for in the first place. We build buildings for ourselves to house so much of the benefits of being wealthy when others live in cardboard boxes. We care so much about a designer that we spend what would be someone’s yearly salary on a handbag to carry our money and beauty products. The food we throw away in one week often would feed a family. The complaints we have about our government and how they are not listening to our wants or recognizing our special interests is nothing to worry about in comparison to no honorable government at all.

I hold up hope for Haiti and all the other people who try to rebuild their lives despite natures wrath and/or man-made destruction. It is also my hope that we don’t forget that we are all one event away from such horror and all that you see around you right now will be meaningless. Only your life and your loved ones will matter in the hours and days following.

Donate to the Red Cross or any other reputable organization.

Canadian Red Cross

A brief post to remind readers about organ donation.

After watching BCTV Global news tonight we were introduced to a young woman Eva, who has Cystic Fibrosis and is currently awaiting an organ donation. She was inspiring, bright in spirit, supported by family, beautiful as she shared her story and breathing at a 15% lung capacity.

It is hard to see people suffer needlessly, especially since we could give the gift of life when it is our time to leave this earth. Nothing is more precious than life itself but tragically, as Eva well noted, a gain for her of a donation is a loss for someone else.  However, beyond the deep grief we experience at the death of a loved one there is opportunity for us/them to live on.  No loss when our lungs inhale and exhale for another, no loss when our heart beats as strongly, no loss when through a corneal transplant someone sees the world in all its magnificence yet again.

I ask you to consider finding out how you can become an organ donor and let your family know of your wishes. A life is saved, that is the greatest gift you could ever give.

BC Transplant

Organ Donations

65 Red Roses Eva Journal

The complaint department is now open! Those who are sensitive to people who are advocates for complaining need not read on.

Have you ever recognized how much we all complain? Recently, I read an article that was touching on the very topic of complaining it was entitled The Kvetch Klatch by Amy Baskin in the November issue of Canada’s More Magazine. It explored the possibility that as we get older we may complain more and want to gather with others to commiserate.

There was some good news about our getting together to air our complaints, apparently it can be good for you to complain with people of like age and life situations according to Robin Kowalski, a psychologist who studies complaining (who knew you could study it and be paid?). “We feel validated, get good advice” and socially it brings people together. (Providing, I guess, you have something better to talk about from time to time otherwise you may just clear a room) There is more to this but I’m not going to rehash everything this woman wrote, I suggest you read the article for yourself.

Last night, again watching my Andy Rooney segment on 60 Minutes, he addressed viewers that accused him of being negative, complaining too much, that is part of his job isn’t it? He proceeded with a great little piece in which he positively enhanced negatives. Maybe that helped all those that felt he complains too much sleep a little easier, though I doubt it. After watching I’m sure they were complaining about his negativity.

I come from a long line of complainers, it is guaranteed that a conversation with my family will get bogged down in complaints and negativity. At times I interject when it is getting too much with something lighter, a humorous quip or just simply tune out the bulk of what is being said. That is not always good when you are to respond, and well…I kinda wasn’t listening. A good laugh eventually is had but still the negativity and complaints are really some of my family members claim to fame. Maybe they should have their own show, but make it 30 Minutes, less commercials which really makes it the 10 Minute show. (but, whose complaining, certainly not me)

When I complain I don’t expect anyone to fix it, it’s not necessary to fix my problem just to air it. Being truthful in the moment, complaining to my hearts content is therapeutic. It is true that going to people of like mind or understanding is far more helpful. My friends and I have the ability to complain for over an hour on the phone or in person and think nothing of it by the time we are finished. A few laughs, compassion, understanding, thoughtful suggestions, no overpowering judgement and good advice usually lightens the load.

I liken complaints, when discussed with others, as something that needs gentle pressure. Kind of like when you have a knot in the muscle and you just hold your fingers on that tension, pushing with just a little firmness makes it back off. You are released! I see this all the time in my work, people who for the most part have legitimate reasons to complain but just being heard opens the space for movement in the right direction.

It is good to complain, not all the time, but just enough to make forward progress on an issue. Some people are great at it and their complaining can be quite entertaining, providing real food for thought. If someone is an energy drainer than take in as much as you can with your ears and don’t expect to fix it with your mouth. Go to someone in your life or a group of people that can truly see it for what it is, and don’t think you are above this because there is always a reason to complain…just ask Andy Rooney.

Andy Rooney Not Negative

Battle of the Blades, a new and very entertaining show, came to a close this evening with the final results in from voting Canadians. As with anything like this we all have our opinions as to who was deserving of the win. I, for one, changed my mind three times over the course of the show and in the end voted for Claude Lemieux and Shae-Lynn Bourne. It was a tough decision but I felt they were consistent and technically superior.

However, Stephane Richer and Marie-France Dubreuil had my vote and heart for quite awhile. I loved the two of them together and couldn’t believe the elegance and skating chemistry they both had. Craig Simpson and Jamie Sale (the winners) really pulled out all the stops in their last performance and well, maybe too he holds a little more in the popularity contest but they did excellent! That is what made this a good show, it was hard to pick a winner right up until the last day.

I do hope this gets picked up for a second season, CBC has a hit in this. So, all you NHL players take a look at what these guys accomplished for themselves and for charity. Leave the egos behind and switch the skates. It is time to bring both of the superior athletes of figure skating and hockey into the limelight in whole new way. Good on each of the pairs for participating! Let us not forget the charities they are contributing to, maybe pick one and send a donation in honor of your favourite pair!

Battle of the Blades

Just a reminder to check out the featured Charity of the Month and the newest addition to Women of Influence. This month I am highlighting an organization known for its tireless work for animal protection and in the spirit of October (though not trivializing her year round/life’s work) I will introduce you to a witch who also believes in giving back.

“Please excuse me I have somewhere else I would rather be.”

OK, I wouldn’t really say it like that but I have thought it many times in certain social settings. I don’t know if it is my age or my increased need to honor my self and my time but it is getting easier to walk away from being in the wrong place with the wrong people. We all have been in a room and experienced difficulty with a personality that turns what is a respectful, inclusive conversation or meaningful/fun experience into an excluding, bad taste, ego centric show.

I often find myself in that moment checking in with my reaction, trying to center and recognizing that this person is bringing up feelings in me I may need to explore.  I may need to look deeper as to how I can better handle situations like this. But not right now!

Right now, I sit politely listening to a bunch of inappropriate jokes or life/relationship analysis; a laugh that comes first from their own mouth, followed by others who either agree or feel compelled to participate. I sit there and think…Who are you? I look around to see if anyone else appears to be asking the same question or is adjusting their body language to compensate for their real feelings about this person being in their space. In my estimation, some individuals believe it is there place to liven things up but usually are not good at assessing the crowd. I always wonder what makes them think it was needing their touch, humour or antics to begin with.

It is the lack of civility, respect for all individuals and manners (especially in the company of women), that bothers me most. Some of the worst examples of human behaviour are used to signify a persons arrival in the group, propped up by a large ego and a loud mouth. (They are either really comfortable with their own behaviour or are compensating for some issues that are unbeknownst to the rest of us.)

I used to go through my life just joining in, feeling compelled to be in with the crowd but I became closer to myself over these years, formed a relationship and understanding that is working well. I became less interested in fitting in and more interested in living in my truth. There are some things that are just not funny to me or don’t interest me… and that is OK.

In assessing my own physical and psychological reactions to such people or circumstances I have learned a lot. My reactions are slowly changing; a slow process as sometimes I feel as though I may have to bite my tongue, literally. Feeling comfortable not to engage is welcomed, and then the subsequent letting go of all emotions associated with the experience or person. It is extremely liberating to realize that we all have reasons for the way we act in any given circumstance but that we also have the power to simply walk away.

Trust me when I say, I am under construction in this department, many people coming to test my foundation. How I respond is an opportunity to learn. I can do without certain people in my life, more selective I guess. I don’t know what works for the rest of you but I know where I am heading.

So, if you go down a road I’m not willing to go, “Please excuse me, I have somewhere else I would rather be.

(This post was reflecting many social settings in the past and was not fully representing any one situation or person)

Deviating a little from the norm of my posts, I am going to share something more personal with all of you; the most wonderful day. We had a blast this past weekend!

Hosted by my fiances’ sister, brother-in-law and family – friends and family alike gathered for a pre-wedding celebration enjoying great food in a beautiful backyard that was filled with all the comforts. There were so many happy faces and laughter the pictures turned out fabulous. I felt particularly happy that both Dean and I were surrounded by such fun and loving people.

It was clear that a lot of thought went into this event and everyone was made welcome. That can be tricky when some people have never met before, that melding of each others family and friends.

I knew our friends would make themselves known…with their great sense of humour, conversation and good nature. Dean and I have had a lot of good times with these people and may life allow us many more.

As I freeze framed key moments throughout the day and evening I felt so proud, especially with my dear friends whom I have grown up with. I feel alive when I am with them; these are the friends I have known through thick & thin, joy & sorrow.

They are the real deal!!

Family is important. Though it can be challenging to maintain relations with different lifestyles, personalities, life issues and much more when you come together in celebration the world gets a little smaller. On this day, my mind did not wonder. The focus remained squarely on the people that surrounded us, those that support our relationship. We don’t always get the chance to understand or to communicate how we truly feel about each other. Sometimes it is hard to know that so many hours, days or years have passed without a hug from those that have been with us from the beginning.

We grew – some noticed and some did not, we hurt and it may have been in the shadow of someone else’s pain, we laughed and shared it wholeheartedly, we conquered and they stood proud with us, we sang in the company of the best of souls, we are fortunate. With or without the eyes upon us our life is rich and full. These are the ties that bind us. On this day all that we are and all that we will be as family and friends was reflected in the moment. Uninterested in the past, hopeful for the future and present in the celebration that is love, life, family and friendship.

Cheers! – life is beautiful because you are in it. Thank you Debbie, Graham, all of you! The memories you created on this day and others will remain imprinted on our soul.

A true representation of depth and kindness is this cake. Debbie thought to have a cake that replicated our announcement, this really touched us greatly. Thanks.

Everyday I see pamphlets, commercials and print ads reminding us about the special charities that need our help. In tough times every penny counts, so donating to not-for-profit organizations can be difficult. However, every once in a while I like to give a reminder and some ideas for giving:

When you get that extra change given back to you after a purchase at your local store, pass it along. There is usually a can, box or display that makes it easy to give. We all know someone who gained support through an organization even the smallest of donations add up over time.

Your time is precious,  precious to those that need volunteers. It is always appreciated & you get to meet great people who share a similar interest. There is the potential to learn something new, utilize existing talents and generally to feel that wonderful sense of purpose.

If you can not spare a dime or the time here is another way to give…forward a kind note or phone message letting a charity know you appreciate all that they are doing. That could lift their spirits too!

If you have a website or blog as I do, ask a charity if you could mention their site on yours. It may be welcomed and inspire others to give in what ever way they can.

There are always ways to give, even in this economy. Be creative and ask yourself “How can I contribute?” or “Who will benefit from my skills?”  Giving is highly gratifying for everyone involved. For a list of charities – - *Check online * Library notice boards * Chamber of Commerce * Community Service Centres * City Hall

As always for Canada here again is a plug for Charity Village – check it out!

Charity Village

Hey! Get inspired by this solo performance by Roger Hodgson from Supertramp

Give A Little Bit

Jack Welch the former General Electric Co. Chief made some comments at the Society for Human Resource Management conference that hit the proverbial fan. It seems the interpretation of his speech looked very much like a man who was nonsupporting of women who require time to raise a family. He is not one to believe in the concept of work/life balance. “There are work/life choices and you make them, and they have consequences.” Well, that sounds ominous.

Further to that, was the claim that a person who wants to take the time out for family will be be passed over for promotion if “you’re not there in the clutch.” I’ll save that one for another time, but as for work/life balance and choices here is where I want to go with this:

After all these years of working with individuals in career development/planning, I have yet to have one man come in and ask me how to balance his life and career.Truly, not one.

It may be because it was a little easier in some professions to climb to a level that afforded them more balance personally and financially.  As for having a family, they don’t have nine months of pregnancy to contend with; physically growing larger by the week, more tired by the day while still maintaining their employment and work responsibilities. Interruption in their career after baby is born is shorter and therefore doesn’t impact them greatly. It could also be that the division of labour in the home is still not equal and that children seem to require more of Mom’s attention than Dad’s.

So, by virtue of just these examples alone I would think the scale itself would not look balanced to begin with, so why ask? It may also be that it is all just water off a ducks back and trying to obtain balance is something men don’t feel the need to attain. Life is life.

In measuring anything on a scale we may see balance and we are happy with that for how ever long it last. It gives us a temporary sense of accomplishment. Then the scale may tip one way or the other as we attempt to add more things to one side. Balance is hard to maintain in a life that is not stagnant, but it is possible to balance more often than not.  That is why I will grant Mr. Welch one thing… we do have work/life choices and those are the things that get our scales unbalanced if not properly assessed prior to decision making.

Here is my observation from watching people all around me, listening in on conversations, reading the blogs and counselling the professional/working Mom.

Most of the time I see women doing far more than they need to be doing. They have made a “choice” to do for their children and their partners what each could do for themselves. Instead of dividing the workloads many women appear to feel they are superior; their children/partners are incapable of contributing properly. Consequently, the family’s ability to take on more responsibility or even think for themselves is lost. Many useful skills simply never get developed or vanish. These women have created the position of NEED, on top of all the hats worn they want also to be “needed.”

“I don’t know what they would do without me.” If a woman can not balance her life, transition within or even expand on her career in the way that she had intended, most of the time I can trace it back to impulsive decision making and/or to lack of delegation. If women today are less happy than they were in previous generations as some study suggested, it isn’t feminism that killed that (which was one of the suggested culprits) it is because they have not stepped up to the plate and claimed their life, career and time properly. Also, generation past… may have ill-prepared this generation to think, do and delegate. (Just an observation, not a scientific fact) 

Balance comes when the scale is evenly weighted – not perfect, it will move from time to time but the expectation is that others will help in the process. Here is food for thought: Children are not invalids! Less tech time and more understanding of home maintenance will help with work/life balance. Make the connection that a grown man who is perfectly capable at work to balance his appointments, meet deadlines, communicate and clean up his work space is able to do the same when he comes home.

At the end of the day it does come down to choices. There are consequences, but we make the scale tip negatively or positively. The career woman shouldn’t need to be afraid of her choices, let the Jack Welch’s of the world fade to black and have larger expectations for those around you professionally and personally. As a wise colleague of mine Sheila Radha Conrad pointed out “Empowerment comes from within”….use it! All the answers to what will balance your life, enhance your career and benefit your family can be found if you look inward.

Continuing where I left off on the Boating for Two Dummies story, we may have found the one for us. I can tell you it is a very good idea, if you are first time boaters, to take the time necessary to find the right one. There is so much to learn and the more boats we saw the better we became at asking the questions and doing our own visual inspection.

We did manage to secure a slip at a Marina which in itself can be quite the hassle as many marina’s have waiting lists in Vancouver and surrounding areas. At one point we wondered if we would just be setting up  deck chairs with drink in hand staring at our newly rented slip and no boat.

What was nice about looking at boats in Marina’s and privately, was how friendly the people are. This appears to be a whole other world where people still acknowledge each other as they walk past, get to know their neighbours and extend invitations to upcoming events. We were invited to join clubs as soon as we get a boat and to me it looked like the party had already started. This friendly atmosphere is in stark contrast to the daily existence within our own neighbourhoods. I like it!

We met a very nice couple this past weekend and truly enjoyed seeing just how much care and pride they had in their boat. Sure they are now looking to move on up to accommodate grown kids and grand-kids, but still this boat appeared to hold a special place in their hearts. What I also enjoyed was sitting and talking, we had a very interesting conversation that I won’t soon forget. Pleasant surprises made it worth the ferry ride and 45 minute drive to get to their cabin.

I highly recommend this hobby or lifestyle depending on how you look at it. I haven’t even got started and I am excited for the future. My husband has discovered that he loves looking at boats and could have continued inspecting more if it weren’t for that “NEED TO MAKE A DECISION BEFORE THE SUMMER IS GONE, DEAR!”

So here is hoping that this is “the one”  and that it will turn out well with the final survey. We both can’t wait to be setting sail for one of the many beautiful locations that adorn our west coast, or just hang out at our slip, either way its “Cheers…to new adventures.”