Archive for the ‘Life Reflections’ Category

A day to celebrate in Vancouver, the Men’s Canadian Hockey team just won a Gold medal in the 2010 Winter Olympics!

The Women’s team did the same thing just days ago and we couldn’t be happier for both our teams success. This has been quite the Olympics for all of our athletes winning more Gold medals than any other nation, we have broke a historical record too!

This city has been on fire since the beginning and I could not be prouder of being not only Canadian but a Vancouverite. I’m surprised by my reaction to all of this as I do know there are things about this event that hang out behind the scenes. However, to see the world enjoy our city and see all of us come together to make it a great experience for those visiting, I’m happy.

The energy has been electric, the faces of people throughout have been beaming and overall I believe it was helpful to take Canada to a new patriotic high. We have taken a page from our neighbours to the south that show us what that looks like to be patriotic and celebrated along side them. Wonderful, relationships developed and further solidified!

Dancing in the streets

Yes, you know it, can’t help but sound the trumpet, bang the drum, toot the horn join everyone with a big CONGRATULATIONS! to our women athletes. Can you believe it? They are wearing more Gold, Silver and Bronze than the male competitors….13 out of 17 medals won by these sports women.

I know, I’m on the gender bandwagon, but its me. If you want something else go to a gender neutral blog post. I’m celebrating women and sports!!

At the end of the year maybe Squire Barnes (Global TV Sports) will see fit to highlight their achievements. (still peeved about his lack of female representation) Can’t get around this one, these women are cleaning up and enjoying the results of their intense training and dedication to sports.

Yesterday, I watched as our women’s hockey team took the Gold. Today, there is some griping about them celebrating with champagne and beer on the ice after the ceremonies, whatever! Joannie Rochette, a figure skater was inspiring to watch, in the face of so much personal tragedy she still managed to achieve her goal and made everyone extremely proud. The fact that she was still competing was enough for us all, to see her skate so beautifully was remarkable. Our hearts opened with compassion in learning about her mother’s passing and then sang with her achievement. Clara Hughes, she sets the bar even higher as she has won medals for cycling and speed skating in both the winter and summer Olympics. Add in a famous Jennifer moment – Jennifer Heil the freestyle skier enjoys the nations praise with her silver medal. It’s all good!

There are more women to list here but maybe at the end of it all I will compile the list of names and raise a toast to womankind. Why?….because we in North America have been accepted into the sports world (though there is room for improvement, I’ll leave out referencing battles here) but there are women in many other countries that are still struggling to get started. Funding/support for women sports in many parts of Europe still lags behind and imagine what it is like for other less developed countries. Interest  abounds but support does not. By seeing what women can do, it may open the doors for the younger generation to pursue their dreams of enjoying a sport, representing their team or even standing on an Olympic podium.

These women serve as inspiration, role models and hope.  They are clearly worth the investment. I’m happy for all the world athletes male and female but as always get myself just a little higher when I see women breaking records and exceeding expectations.  For all the women athletes well in our past; that risked all, put up with countless stupid comments, were segregated and sometimes humiliated, pursued the dream and designed the team…Vancouver’s 2010 Olympics shows your efforts to open the door was worth it!

Babe Didrikson Zaharius was my role model when I was growing up. I saw one film about her and never forgot her name. She inspired me to run and for many years I enjoyed long distance running and many other sports. Check out the following to learn more about this great Olympian.

target="_blank">Babe Didrikson

For the first time in my blog history I have just got up and out of my bed to remove my own last post. I was very upset by the CTV’s  (one of our local television stations) decision to air the crash and death of the luger from Georgia, on this celebratory Olympic day.  Like many people who saw it,  I was terribly hurt.

It took me some time after writing to realize why…..I don’t like the dark.

Sometimes in this world it is hard to keep your light burning. Dark colours, dark movies, dark comedy, dark clothing, dark news, dark shows, dark books and dark thoughts. People talk with me about protecting yourself from darkness by envisioning being surrounded by light but it is exhausting to do. I am highly in tune with my surroundings and therefore it takes a lot to shut out the noise.

It appears that there are tests for me to see how well I can keep focused on what I believe is my path. Today was that day, I failed. I gave my energy away and left nothing to nurture myself. Many of you may relate to this. It is my sincere hope that the coming months will be wrapped in a warm blanket of more love, more light, more laughter and more nature.

As I have gotten older I feel an even greater urge to run my hands over beautiful things, even the colours I’m attracted to have changed. Splashes of vibrant colours is something I crave, I took to orange some time ago and even my little Suzuki Swift is burnt orange. I rest my eyes more frequently on art, nature, words or music that washes me with a sense of serenity. Buying flowers gives me immense pleasure, I would have my home full of them if I could afford it.

I watch the birds fly in and out at my bird feeders and I talk to them as I go in and out my door. A squirrel or two has entered my garden everyday, along with raccoons to have me pause in my evening to remember I share this land. Most of what goes through my mind in one day is kept quietly locked up in this secret vault, it is my toy chest. When I have a day like today where dark people and dark things set to enter I go back and open “my” mind. I go to my soulful place where all that is good about living is safely stored and ready to remind me of my purpose.

Out my bed I rose to write this for me and for you. Its personal but hopefully it will encourage anyone who may read this, to find the things that make you, you and what makes you happiest. Time in a day is better spent in the light and then have the quietness of night to reflect on the magic of it all. Here’s to the people, places, creatures and things that bring light into this world!

Have you ever had butterflies in your stomach?

It is a term that has been used to describe that nervous feeling one gets normally just before moving out of their comfort zone. With adrenaline pumping, that fight or flight response kicks into gear. Some of the most common examples of potential butterflies in the stomach would be public speaking, first dates and job interviews. We are facing people we know little to nothing about and the expectations is we have something good and important to say. Our voice is now front and center, our future and/or reputation may ride heavily on this encounter.

Public speaking was not a source of great anxiety for me, I don’t know why but speaking in public came naturally. I get an initial small sensation of nervousness that quickly dissipates as soon as the first introduction is complete. Good thing that, as I make part of my living standing up in front of people for presentations and workshops. For others though, it is a dreadful prospect to be asked to speak in front of an audience. Toastmasters has provided tips, support and opportunities to help many get over this fear. Butterflies will lessen as participants get more comfortable with their new skill.

Toastmasters

First dates had me fighting off the butterflies, while putting on my clothes and makeup the importance of breathing itself took on a whole new meaning. I remember the first time I saw my husband… butterflies. An unplanned meeting of the minds after one of his gigs (former bass player in a band), our first date, first invite to my New Years party (for four) and subsequent first kiss, all had butterflies flying around like they were high on caffeine.  At our wedding the butterflies were momentarily flying but couldn’t get full lift off, I was exactly where I wanted to be and once I saw my man there was no room for anything but love.

Job interviews, Wow! I have seen people just fall apart at the thought of doing a job interview. It is such a real fear that places the butterflies in overdrive. A hands shaking, voice stuttering, no digesting, face flushing experience for some individuals. Much like public speaking there is a real feeling of vulnerability, others are hanging on your words and essentially you are on stage.  What you are wearing, your body language, facial expressions, everything under the microscope. Each person in that room with you has gone through the exact same experience at one point or another but that is of little comfort when you are in the hot seat. I like helping people get over their anxiety with job interviews and use unique tools to accomplish that goal, but I have been around long enough to know it is a big hurdle for many people.

Sometimes the butterflies can tell you not to go in a certain direction, they can act like a warning sign. Flight may be a good thing. When trying to make a decision or simply even exploring options I have often found those butterflies help me understand whether I’m going down the right path or not. Paying attention to our body and all of its little internal signals is not to be taken lightly. It fascinates me that we have been created with an inner knowing and have the ability to conquer our fear or follow our bliss if we just let those butterflies do their thing and then move on.

Caught a few butterflies today, but feeling much better now.

What makes you nervous and how do relieve those butterflies?

Now for something completely different…

I’m at my gym today and as I changed back into my street clothes my eye was drawn to wall advertising. Two pair of underwear, one was thong and the other was waist high panties.

OK, got my attention, mainly because I thought “Gee, I have both of these in my underwear drawer.” Without my trusty glasses, and staying a safe distance away so as not to appear like I needed the information, I strained to read the advertisement. It’s purpose, to guide me to information about birth control that would allow me to choose when to have my period, in fact their main tag line boasted about products to lessen my period.

Now, I’m all for a woman’s right to choose birth control so let’s just get that piece of information out of the way. What I’m not sure about is the methods that can either reduce menstruation substantially or even eliminate it for months at a time. Isn’t it important to menstruate? It obviously was supposed to be a part of our evolution whether we like it or not…which the majority will attest we don’t.

Are we screwing with our bodies so much that we could be damaging it? Is it possible that many years down the road they will be attributing cancers or other fertility problems directly to our desire not to embrace the cycle. Even toxic shock, which can happen to anyone, but is especially linked to things we insert to stop flow or pregnancy. Is that not a concern? Yet, how many girls do you know use tampons and other devices regularly without that knowledge.

I don’t know, maybe I’m over-reacting. Maybe advertising the ways to lessen our period is just fine. Leave it up to consumers to decide whether the lure of less or no period makes sense to them. It probably is no worse than the advertising telling me to “Have a Happy Period.” Try selling that one to me face to face in the middle of my menstruation buddy…you bleepin bleep bleep.

Five more lives were lost in Afghanistan but they are home now.

As I write this post, not far from where I live, hundreds of people have gathered for the funeral of a soldier killed in Afghanistan, Pte, Garrett William Chidley. He was 21 years old and this was his first mission. As I drove by the funeral home I was touched to see all of the cars lining the street, all the people who have come to pay their respect. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police with flashing lights, Fire Fighters had their ladder high in the air with the Canadian flag waving in the wind. Civilians, military and emergency services all coming together as part of the procession to his final resting place.

In the same armoured vehicle, that was hit just south of Kandahar City, was Michelle Lang. She becomes the first Canadian reporter to be killed since the mission began in 2002. We have learned more about this reporter with the Calgary Herald especially about her dedication to her work and how she died doing exactly what she loved. Michelle was to be married this summer. Her family, fiance, friends and colleagues gathered yesterday, also here in our great city to say goodbye.

Three more souls left our earth that day Sgt. George Miok, 28, Sgt. Kirk Taylor, Cpl. Zachery McCormack, 21 all died December 30, 2009. Across Canada private and public services have been held to show we care. We honor those that serve daily without the eyes of the world upon them. Canada has taken a hard hit in terms of the number of deaths and casualties associated with fighting the terrorists but support continues and we appreciate the sacrifices made by each and every soldier and their family.

After reading this post, please take a second to say your silent thank you for their service.

I listened again as she went over all the reasons why she didn’t go out today; in bed mid-afternoon with blankets tucked close to her body. She has done this many times, laying there resentful of others who go on with life, proclaiming there is nothing to do, making excuses to me as if I would believe them.

I want my call to be something more, I want to offer hope, drag her back from the depths of her despair.

In fact, when I do call she does manage to brighten up over time and slowly get out of bed. Right in the midst of our talk she rises, this holds some consolation to me,  but I know yet another day opened and closed, she missed the beauty of it all. Is it wrong to want more? So many wasted hours that could have been squeezed out for maximum enjoyment or even just wrapped cozily around without fear or frustration.

For some people, life was short. If they could do it all again, would they rise with the sun? Step out of their comfort zone more often? Bond more closely with people? Travel to more places? Watch more sunsets? Flop into bed late at night knowing they had drank fully from the cup of life?

I’m used to motivating clients and students and there is so many times when the thrill of hearing about their success made my day. Not because of my contribution but because I know what it took for them to get there. Our success comes in the discovery of our enumerable talents, seizing the opportunity, connecting with others, sharing the personal journey with people who love us or whom play a part in the realizations of our dreams. We are so rich!

Yet, finding the positive aspects of life can be so difficult for some people and when they are close to us the pain is greater. I live with many memories of great times, laughter, love and support so I don’t want to minimize the gifts and lessons. I also know I will feel some sadness for all the moments and days in which I could not reach this person. Ultimately, it is not my life and therefore I can’t control it. I certainly can’t profess to not have days myself where I wanted to pull the covers over my head, we all do. However, the frequency of wanting to hide like a turtle in a shell can well determine the state of overall health and there in lies the concern.

As I passed through from one year to the next I felt something unexplainable and as yet have no way to describe its presence, other than it’s powerful.  I celebrated a birthday with people I love deeply and for the first year in my entire life when I blew out the candles I did not even hesitate, I wished for someone else. If I get my wish, I will benefit by knowing they are healthy. Birthdays for me have never been wholeheartedly a marker of my age but more a celebration that I am alive! I reflect on what life may offer in the coming months and seem content to be open to the possibilities. I continue to meet wonderful people through blogging that in turn brighten my world and expand my horizons.

In writing this I expose another part of my personal world without naming the individual that provided so much inspiration. I guess that’s another seed in this post, everyone and everything inspires us…even if it is just to live…live…live!

I intend to seek out positive people and remind myself that what we know so far is.. that the sun will rise again and if we are lucky enough to greet it, it was a good day.

A year in review is not something that takes a lot of effort. First, look way back to January 1st, with goals or resolutions ready for launch. Then blink and “Voila!” – you are now at the end of the year.

I swear, as I get older that is exactly how it is. One minute we are in plan mode, the world is our oyster, the ideas are flowing, we are in control and we have 365 days to get it all done. Somehow, that 365 days folded inward and became 182.5 and that’s being generous. In actuality it probably folded so much it looked like origami.

I’ve decided this year I’m going to be a little sneakier, I will make 2010 think I’m ready for the journey but instead I’m going to sprint. Peddle to the metal, baby…it won’t know what streaked by and it will have no time to close ranks around me.

Trying something new, no problem! Write more, you bet! Travel to new lands, I’m on it! Laugh a lot, Hell ya! Make business more pleasurable and pleasure more notable, I’m on fire! Work out more…sure…reduce chocolate consumption…..maybe…do more gardening……Ahhh, OK… learn to cook more recipes…….whatever.

I’m already feeling sluggish and I haven’t started the first day of the New Year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!

A reoccurring theme in my writings whether career or personal is my hatred for labels especially those that are damaging. Whether on this blog or in my essays I have long since made it clear that when you label me, you are limiting me and creating a barrier of understanding. Sure, I can have opinions that can be easily tagged but that says more about the needs of the reader or listener than my own experience.

Why am I exploring this issue? Well, there are days when I have felt exposed to criticism that is unfounded and pigeon holed for convenience.  Simply put, I feel a need to wipe clean any labels attached to me that are serving the agenda of someone else who wishes to define who I am or why I think the way I do.

As a person who happens to have Fibromyalgia, it is easy for anyone to put any discomfort I may be experiencing directly to my condition. Whether warranted or not, many times when seeking medical assistance I  have opted out of revealing my condition because of bias and judgements that can lead to misdiagnosis. That is dangerous and practitioners would be wise to not “label” everything as a symptom of Fibromyalgia. In fact, I manage my condition well without the aid of conventional medicine and can fully discern the differences in my body.

Though openly regarded as “a feminist” it is a disconcerting habit of people (mainly men) to attach the stereotypical labels to just about anything I talk about, do or not do. As if I am incapable of having strong opinion or feeling without it being attached to the feminist majority, “My God, could it just be that I think, as Jennifer!” Not everything that passes through my mind or mouth has a feminist slant to it but here comes the label anyway. Mostly it is attached when the aim is for me to respect or accept something I can’t. I may not accept something in my life or society for a myriad of other reasons but “feminism” is as good a reason as any to negate my position rather than open ones mind to the possibilities.

When I was in grade school I was labeled an “average student”, below average if you check out my math scores. It was not easy for me, school never was a place where I felt comfortable. My learning styles are visual and auditory, show me how to do it or talk to me and I will get it, plop that book in front of me and I will be there awhile. The label of being less than average made for some difficult decisions when exploring further education as an adult. Despite the label I managed to move beyond it and did extremely well as an adult learner in college/university. My average is high and I am proud of it!

It is by no accident that I cringe when, as I have mentioned before, a student, client, friend or family member is assigned a label I know will cause a barrier where one should not exist. My disdain causes me to work even harder to break the cycle a psychological limitation. It is in our nature to want to make sense of something and in this day in age we are given plenty to research once the label has been summarily assigned. Hence, why there are so many people out there sharing before they even start an activity all the reasons why they won’t succeed.

I’m about to be 45 years of age, another detail about me that now hits the masses. For my 45th year I would like all labels to be dropped, I am no longer wishing to be defined by any of the above or anything else in the future. I have earned the right to think what I think, feel what I feel and do what I do without the convenience of attaching labels. I hereby state that if you choose to assign a label to me I will no longer honor it, nor respond to it, it is irrelevant.

My name is Jennifer. My professional titles are career and self esteem coach, workshop facilitator, writer and blogger. My personal titles are friend, daughter, sister, wife, cousin and aunt. Everything else means nothing to me.

Over Christmas the story about Scrooge emerges, this lonely soul wondering through his world without enjoyment, meaningful friendship or companionship. There are people who at this time of year find it particularly hard; depression and loneliness can be at its peak. Interestingly, stats show that as a society depression is growing and loneliness, though subjective, is sharing the stage.

How is it that in an age when people have the ability to do anything and communicate with each other twenty-four seven through technology, they still feel alone? Young people especially have been diagnosed with varying degrees of depression, anxiety and loneliness and yet we are the generations who have the most at our disposal.

In our backyard we are not running for the bomb shelter daily, as my mother had to do as a child. Our food is not rationed and most illness that would have wiped out children or adults generations ago is preventable,
manageable or treatable. We have (despite current financial circumstances) enjoyed a relatively disposable income and want for little. Education is available, we are not forced into unwanted working conditions and exploring career options is encouraged. Our entertainment choices are abundant and travel (though more safety orientated) is still an option.

So, we come to this place in which I must ask some questions:

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