Archive for the ‘Steam Rising’ Category

My husband and I were out for dinner with friends and their daughter at a popular restaurant. It is peak time and the servers are hopping between the kitchen and the tables. Amongst all of the chaos, there they were. The apple of their Daddy’s eyes, sweet little girls maybe 3 and 5 years old, running and screaming happily…IN A RESTAURANT!!

Having created their own imaginary runway from one end of the restaurant to the entrance, between tables and the kitchen/bar area, these two children ran back and forth. The wee one, barely into the walking stage, equally enjoyed herself as she used her new found freedom on foot to try keep up with her big sister. The eldest was in full throttle running mode and both screamed and squealed with delight. At one point, the older girl ran into the back of the legs of a server carrying a tray, thankfully, nothing was dumped and the child carried on. You may be wondering where the parents were during all of this. Sitting at a table, was a group of parents, one of which was obviously Daddy with a big smile on his face as he watched his cherubs fly across the room.

The rest of us…not so happy. After some time of watching this go on and the usual glares and mild chatter everyone does regarding the matter, I lost it. I shouted “Stop running and Stop screaming!” Neither the children flying by or the parents three tables down noticed. They couldn’t hear over the noise that was emanating not only from other patrons talking, music and kitchen but my shout was drowned out by a loud scream from the toddler. Another person told them to “stop” but nothing changed.

This was not only annoying but dangerous. I can’t for the life of me understand why any parent thinks it is cute or appropriate for a child to play, run or scream in a restaurant. It is plain wrong! I have seen this time and time again whether we are dining at a budget friendly establishment or 5 star hotel; parents watching (or ignoring) their children as they disturb everyone around them. What is that about?

Where is the discipline?

What happened to teaching manners?

Why do they not care about the well being and enjoyment of other patrons?

Are they unconcerned about the safety of their child?

What about the staff that must begrudgingly put up with the little hellions and for whom injury to self or others is a real possibility as they try to manoeuvre around the play?

Over the years, I have seen other people who have reached their threshold of tolerance. They say something to the children, ask the parents to handle the situation (which results in blank stares) or quietly mention to the managers or servers about the problem. Why should we have to go that far? Here is the bottom line:

Restaurants are for dining only! It is not a child’s personal playground and if parents don’t want the rest of us to comment or set some rules then they should take responsibility for their own child’s behaviour. If I was to start running around, shouting, screaming, popping up over the back of a booth or crawling under the table, people would find my behaviour upsetting. WELL???

Children are capable of understanding the concept of dining and it is time that parents everywhere start to recognize that fact and instill some manners. If not, then more restaurants will have to become Adults Only establishments or start erecting signs to warn us all Caution: Kids running loose in restaurant! Least then we can choose to take our hard earned dollars elsewhere and enjoy a meal they way it was intended to be enjoyed.

Career criminal Tracy Lloyd Caza must be laughing at the justice system while the rest of us are hanging our heads or raising our fists.

With 78 convictions notched on his belt he continues to whip us all. Labeled 'a high risk to re-offend' Caza lived up to his designation by re-offending soon after release from prison in December. Despite arrest and charges of sexual assault, assault and uttering threats against a female, Mr. Caza was released on bail the following day; not even a full two weeks into January. Unaffected, he was later found in possession of drugs which, of course, is a breach of conditions.

How can there be anyone left in this Province of British Columbia that can say, the system is working! Really?  Certainly not in this case. Given the length of Caza's record it is safe to say it has been broken for some time. This a joke that anyone could repeatedly break the law and still be released into our communities. What does it take for our Government to see the need for an overhaul of this laughable system.

By now, everyone is focused on the conviction numbers associated with this man's despicable life but there are victims whose singular experience with him changed how they live. A string of stories that chronicle the impact this lowest form of human has had on our society. He doesn't even have a preference for his criminal activity, he breaks all the laws, drug possession, theft, assault, sexual assault and a host of other acts dating back to 1977.

People across this country are looking for help from the powers that be. Whether it is through Federal crime bills like c-10 or Provincial clout that will take cases like this one and blow it wide open. We want action! There are more questions than answers that need to be addressed from the parole board through to judges and crown counsel. Who is protecting us from people like this? The police can't just hand out a warning to the media without clear information that warrants such a measure. Though, they tried, it is impossible to keep guys like Caza from claiming his next victim.

The only place, angry but law abiding citizens should be in order to defend our rights, is occupying our court rooms. Taking up the challenge to keep a spotlight on cases such as this. Mr. Caza may hold some uniqueness in his convictions but he is certainly not the only criminal to be perpetually enjoying the revolving door of our courts and prisons. If the general public had a chance to see the files of many who pass in and out of our system they would most likely be stunned by how many charges were dropped not because the person didn't commit the crimes but because our justice system is either too slow to convict or too quick to simplify the counts against.

We are weak and though we will momentarily rise up to address Caza he will prove only one of many who laugh as they leave our courts or prisons. We are all just one moment away from living amidst the likes of Tracy Lloyd Caza.

How open would you be to using restorative justice as part of the consequences for trashing the city of Vancouver?

One of the recent ideas from a forum held at Christ Church Cathedral in Vancouver was to use restorative justice as a way of dealing with the criminals that put our city under siege after the Stanley Cup game. They looted stores, damaged property, assaulted citizens and kept residents and store workers barricaded in buildings fearing for their safety.

I don’t know that I am able to go to restorative justice at this time, maybe never. Tell me, what will be the outcome through this type of justice?

Making reparations to the citizens of Vancouver through what?..Garbage pick up?… Hey, law-abiding citizens already did that for them. Volunteering in a community centre?…Wow! That’s showing them to think twice about participating in such a senseless act again. Paying for damages with either their cash or parents help? Great! They can do just that after they complete some jail time, appropriate to their crime, as money shouldn’t be the sole way out of this mess.

I figure, given the choice to participate in restorative justice or face jail time almost all of those arrested would say “Yes” to a facilitated meeting of the minds.

Who is going to support this very voluntary meeting? Trained facilitators, of course, who are ‘sensitive to both victim and offender.’ A representative of our community…really?? By all accounts, the community is pretty irate about what happened, they want stiff penalties, they want jail time, they want out of pocket consequences, they want real justice! But, what is real justice? I don’t know anymore. It seems every time I turn around people are trying to get me to buy into some warm and fuzzy way of handling people who commit crimes that have a substantial impact on our life or community.

Do you think I care how this will impact some young guys life; a criminal record impeding his future? No, I do not. Do you think I mind that he may have to spend some time in a jail cell noticing the difference between freedom and incarceration; devoid of access to his precious possessions? No, I do not. Do you think I care if he has shame attached to his name in the coming months or years? No, I do not. These are the “real” consequences of breaking laws. Least they were at one time.

But, it’s not just our way of dealing with this particular issue that has changed. We are finding many ways to shirk responsibility and raise our middle finger to accountability. Now, we don’t fail people even when they can’t read. Now, we give a kid multiple chances to repeat the same behaviour without implementing a stitch of punishment. Now, we provide umpteen opportunities to a person who should have been fired from the job a long time ago because of fear of reprisal. Now, we watch with intense curiosity through the lens of our camera’s every aspect of life and crime as we know it and feel no obligation to step in and jump on the side of goodness and decency. (except when prompted by collective outrage that’s then posted on social networking sites) Now, we are expected to consider the feelings of these offenders, hear their story and reach out through respectful dialogue.

It’s all too much to ask of me!

I have spent most of my life helping people and I believe in the merits of some interventions that are creative in their approach to counsel and justice but even I am too far gone to get from riot to restorative justice. I just can’t do it! Can you?

In the aftermath of last night’s post Stanley Cup game riot concerned citizens of Vancouver are using social media to rally the troupes for clean up and catch the criminals that destroyed parts of our city.

People throughout British Columbia are getting on Facebook offering to come down to the city to help with the clean up. Others started as soon as areas were cleared and spent the night removing the debris that littered the streets. With all the snapping of cameras by the mostly youthful participants in this turmoil some savvy media experts are collecting what they posted of themselves and copying them to their sites to assist police in identification.

For some who are now sober enough to figure out the fact that they uploaded their images to Facebook, YouTube etc., their morning has been spent trying to quickly take the pictures down.  Dave Teixeira has created a site to capture the images and videos from anyone wanting to forward their pictures for police use, his website www.canucksriot2011.com has crashed many times as a result and at last check was still not up and running. Vancouver Fans Riot blogs are everywhere with links to even more pictures that we can only hope will bring some assistance to our police.

Look we all know this can happen when you gather thousands of fans but up to this point the city held various similar events throughout the series with no incidents. The Olympics was a shining example of what this beautiful city could accomplish in gathering people for fun times.

It is truly sad that so many participated in this event, not moving on, not choosing to be lawful, loving the spotlight placed on them as they danced on top of burning cars and celebrated as one more window smashed open to a vulnerable store. As much as it has become cool to document everyone’s movements, to be forever looking through a camera lens on devices cradled in the palm of their hands this is one time when maybe all this need to be seen will turn against them and some will find themselves in a courtroom instead of on our street!

(Glad I’m the parent of any of those idiots or I would turn em in myself and if they still lived under my roof they would come home with all their treasured items trashed…justice/discipline can be swift in some homes)

A whole new breed of losers are roaming around looking for vehicles with handicap parking permits dangling from the mirrors. Police in Vancouver are now having to keep their eyes open for handicap permit thieves who break in, take the permits and presumably sell them to other unscrupulous people.

It is purely despicable that anyone targets citizens who already have challenges in life but isn’t it awful that someone else is willing to pay to receive a decal that will allow them to park closer to buildings. There really can’t be any other benefit to receiving the permit and that just annoys me!

It is bad enough there are individuals who use the parking stalls without a permit. Have you ever watched someone pull into a handicap spot without a decal and think “what an ***.” It is not right to take that spot if they are not disabled I don’t care how in a hurry they think they are. My sister relies on handicap parking for her van that is equipped with a ramp for my niece. At my nieces school there is a parent who on more the one occasion has  taken up that space to pick up her non-disabled child. That woman is lucky I’m not there, my patience is short for people like that.

Maybe the Vancouver police can use a bait car that helps catch these guys and anyone who is found to have a permit that didn’t belong to them should be fined heavily and publically humiliated. Post their picture and name in the paper for all of us to know. If they drive impound their vehicle for a term.

It is truly tragic that thieves always find new ways to rip society off but they will always be here and so will the buyers of stolen goods. Sad isn’t it?

The Green Party had their candidate for the Vancouver Point Grey riding part of a by-election debate on the radio station CKNW. As a person who has both voted Green and donated in the past, I was embarrassed to hear this woman speak. Any debater will tell you that it is imperative to be PREPARED for the debate by researching the crap out of the issue or issues; know your argument and have a strong position. Instead we received from Francoise Raunet a very weak showing that demonstrated little to persuade voters to vote Green.

When I went to the BC Greens website they referred to an accelerated nomination process that obviously propelled Ms. Raunet forward to candidacy but after listening I strongly felt that was a mistake! Though, I admire her willingness to be part of this debate (unlike Christy Clark of the Liberal party who was a no show) and I applaud Reaunet’s desire to serve in politics, she failed miserably. I can only hope her skills will mature; otherwise this may be a short lived career.

One of the hottest issues to hit this Province over the last two years, I’m speaking about the HST, turned out to be difficult for Ms. Raunet as she wasn’t even clear about her own position. She stated “Um, actually the Green Party, um is in favour of it, personally I’m not sure how I feel about it,  I’m not a tax expert”…she then goes on to say that “as a consumer it really bugs me that my haircut cost more than it used too.” She used words like “maybe”, “I’m not sure.” What the…?! Then to add insult to injury she chimes in, right in the middle of a “so called debate”, to let listeners know she has just checked the Green Party website to clarify they will be having a meeting next week to address the divide on the HST issue. HUGE miss in legitimizing her presence at this debate.

If there were any facts that listeners didn’t already know about the Green Party position on the various topics posed, she failed to include them. Conversely, when she spoke about her assessment that the “Environment needs to be at the centre of Government” she flowed well but “Guess What Ms. Raunet? We already know that is the foundation of your platform.” Valuable time was therefore spent adding to the perception that the Green’s are only a one issue party, which had it solely been an environmental debate she would have come across very knowledgeable. However, we need more information about their opinion on other matters.

Looking at her bio, this is a well educated woman, who has a solid history living in the Vancouver-Point Grey community. Clearly being educated is not an indicator that one can speak to the people effectively. It is entirely possible that with proper training from the party and more concrete preparation on the issues she could have pulled together a strong presentation for listeners. Instead she sounded like an idealistic girl who needed her laptop to confirm what she was talking about.

If I sound tough on Francoise Raunet and the BC Green’s decision to put forth this candidate, in this riding, up against the Premier Christy Clark, I am tough on this! I despise weakness brought on solely by lack of preparedness for something of great importance. You are representing a party, your riding and potentially the Province of BC, though we know that is a massive long shot. Know your parties stuff inside and out, give voters more than the standard enviromental speak, we already know that is where you stand! Use the valuable air time to get in as much as you can about the rest of your platform or at least have a strategy as to how you are going to stand out, positively and powerfully in a debate.

What the Green’s don’t do well is share the other benefits of voting for their party when they have an opportunity to do so. This was it, free air time folks! Put your best foot forward! Don’t send in somebody without at least addressing the question “Are they fully prepared for the questions?” It was lucky she was in good company, the rest of the candidates didn’t sound much better. In fact, a couple sounded like they may have smoked something before the show started.

I want to support a party like this one to grow, not because the environment is my agenda but because I want to see new faces, hear new voices and be swayed by innovative thinking. I don’t care what the name of the party is I care about seeing that all the social and economic issues are properly addressed and that I have an honest, strong, inclusive, open person representing our great Province.

The Green Party needs to recruit someone who understands their ideals and can train their candidates to stand up straight, speak with conviction and knowledge on all the issues concerning British Columbian’s today and for God sake get a backbone!

This is BC politics not a popularity contest for Class President!

If you want to listen to CKNW audio vault of this debate go to the link 1pm May 6, 2011.

BC Green Party Website

As I listened to Lara Logan on 60 Minutes this week, graphically describe the gang rape she experienced at the hands of brutal Egyptian men, I realized I was forgetting to breathe. I took a breath. As she spoke about the injuries she sustained from the attacks, that could have killed her, I became aware my muscles were tense. I released the tension. When Lara described the moment she chose to fight, to live for her children, I felt a twinge of strength. I chose to harness it. When she stated that she was not going to be defined by the act against her, I heard a voice inside say “No you won’t be defined by this, you will face the fear!”

In breaking the code of silence surrounding her own rape she may well have freed others who stay silent; especially those that have felt compelled or pressured to keep quiet in an effort to protect their job. I am certain there were many women like me that shared her pain and gave thanks that she managed to survive this torturous crime. Women who identified with her moments of clarity in the midst of the brutality that helped her survive and fight. When she described the moment in which the Egyptian women “closed ranks” to protect her, as best they could, I held to the belief that compassion and bravery can go hand in hand.

Many women know what it is like to begin to face this fear that continues post rape. Not necessarily expecting to put back all the same pieces that existed before but replace some with a determination to transform the trauma into both life affirming and collective action. No matter our religion, the language we speak, our social or economic status, women worldwide tragically understand targeted violence exists against us; be it sexual or physical. Most women at one time or another have walked with a semblance of fear.

When Lara Logan spoke about the fear she had never had before and recognized it would be difficult to overcome, my head nodded. Then I saw the intensity in her eyes when she spoke about the prospect of eventually going back to do what she does well, reporting from the field as a journalist. This act of violence surely will not define her and I hope that people will acknowledge her contributions as she pursues life beyond this tragedy. I knew by her eyes that she has been changed, like millions upon millions of women. However, I also feel that like all those powerful women she too will conquer this! With bravery beyond measure she will speak her name and title Lara Logan – Journalist.

Check out 60 Minutes Overtime for more of Lara’s Interview – After the Assault

Like most women, I am at the end of a very long working day. It is not the fact that International Women’s Day escaped me but that I have had little time to speak or write about it.

Last year I did reflect on the day further in a blog post realizing that in other countries there is more celebration in the streets for such a day; North Americans just don’t embrace it to the same degree as other nations. Did you know that elsewhere women receive gifts from partners, recognition from work and government, a tip of the hat that acknowledges battles won, what’s still needed and the good work women do every day? There were some sound bites here and there but really the day, from my perspective, made only a small ripple in the grand scheme of things.

Now, as you know by this blog, my website and column I am women centric. Proud to share the news of women, I take a hard look at their contributions, fight for their rights and freedoms and above all else share the “herstory” with others.

There have been a lot of gains that propelled us forward through each generation but I’m beginning to question whether we are experiencing some stagnation or slippage.

* Women still making less wages

* Women still fighting for their rights to make decisions about their own health

* Women still victims of violence; with sentencing that never fits the horrific crimes perpetrated

* Women still not breaking through that glass ceiling (look at some of the latest stats if you don’t believe me)

* Women still doing the bulk of the work in the home and that’s after they finished the full time or part time job outside of it

* Women still holding the bulk of the responsibilities for child rearing and now aging parent support

* Women still under-represented in the political world for reasons that are both personal and system driven

* Women still being exploited and trafficked for sex – solely for the multi-billion dollar businesses directed at the predominantly male consumer

* Women still not being recognized for their contributions in business (awards/incentives) as much as their male counterparts

* Women still more apt to be living in poverty worldwide despite the work they do (because it is largely unpaid labour)

Do I sound pessimistic? Maybe, I could not be so gloomy and look at the silver lining again…we like silver linings they are far more palatable. If even half of what I said is reality then I say lets call it like it is.

Last year I celebrated the day and I still do, but not like a birthday or Christmas or any other warm fuzzy day. I celebrate it in the pure recognition that generations ago a woman got up out of her chair and said “enough is enough!” “I have a voice! I want the right to express my opinion! I want my vote! I want to make my own decisions! I want to earn money! I want an education! I want to save for my future! I want choice! I WANT TO BE CLASSIFIED AS A PERSON!”

She was so brave, she didn’t sit back and watch anymore. She didn’t hope that someone else would do it for her. She didn’t wait till “they” would come around to see her side. She got up and risked it all and sometimes paid dearly. She paid attention to the news around her, she saw the injustices and felt them deeply, she went out of her comfort zone and looked within for strength to speak her speak.

Guess what? Right now there is a woman somewhere in this world who is doing just that. She doesn’t have even half of what we have and she has a lot to lose. It may very well be her life on the line…so our job is not done ladies…no it is not.

Celebrate being a woman, celebrate our gains but acknowledge things are and can change if you are not watching. What seems like a solid foundation can crumble if you don’t do anything to maintain it. To honor women past and present, learn about one woman in this world and what her contribution was and share it with your daughters and your sons. Be informed and inform others.

Lara Logan is a respected journalist and war correspondent who is currently working for CBS News and 60 Minutes. We have all just learned that she was brutally attacked and sexually assaulted while trying to cover the story in Egypt. Separated from her group by a mob she was assaulted until a few women and some soldiers managed to free her. She has left Egypt and is recovering in a hospital in the United States.

Now, I don’t want share this story for any other reason than to make the point that it is due to the bravery of journalists and correspondents everywhere that we receive the news we do. Despite the often challenging areas one must travel to in order to cover a story there is also the real possibility of beatings, torture, sexual assault or death. Apparently, sexual assault has happened to other journalists but it may not be public knowledge due to journalists fearing they will not be able to cover such stories in the future.

The Committee to Protect Journalists tries to promote and defend their rights worldwide; on the CPJ site you can see the price paid by some men and women for doing their job. Attempts to muzzle journalists and keep civilians in the dark while rulers and war mongers continue their campaigns of destruction, is ongoing. It is a different breed of people who stand firm in a crowd or roll through unsecured territory to bring us a morsel or a feast of information that can change everything we thought we knew or enlighten us on something we knew nothing about.

What bothers me is in this world of everyone talking about this story is reading the comments that are left on sites. If you don’t think men are capable of condoning such hateful acts, see the comments from many who blame this woman. We are a long way from compassion. It is sickening to imagine how many people use the forums to spill forth that garbage and to know they live among us. Wonder where they get the belief any woman ( and this journalist) would deserve this? The answer is in our homes, on our screens and on our own streets.

It pains me to think about what happened to Ms. Logan. As a woman, it is truly an act of violence that cuts deep to the core of my being. I can only come from a place of compassion, sincerity and civility. My hope is she gets all the support she needs; surrounded by so much love and healing from those she cares for and who care for her. I can’t hope for justice as it would be hard to know whether anyone will stand trial for such an attack. Even in North America justice is slow and the punishment minimal.

A while back I wrote an article in TimeFinders Magazine about women reporters entitled Reporting from the Edge. Lara Logan is one more journalist/correspondent we can pay tribute to because she risked everything to get the story and she is  more than this past horrific event. Ms. Logan is defined by great bravery and great work!

You know I love a good rant and this is about to be a brief look back at the latest headlines in the news. Stories that have got me hot under the collar.

1. A week ago a fourth BC man, Kenneth Sather, was charged with distribution and possession of child porn. He is one of 57 men (25 of which were Canadian) who were charged after police launched Project Sanctuary. This investigation lasted well over a year but was successful in stopping these men and rescuing 25 children. One of the men previously arrested has since committed suicide, a prominent researcher at York University in Ontario. It is alleged that he could not bear the public humiliation and the tarnishing of his image. Really? I would of thought the better reason would be because he could no longer live with being a sick guy who is a child abuser. Of course, neither of these men (and some of the remaining accused) have been convicted so we can assume their innocent and the millions of images that were traded between them was purely a mistake.

2. Then we have Global TV reporter Ron Bencze charged with sexually assaulting a person under the age of 16; he has counts of sexual intereference and invitation to sexual touching to address. Presumed innocent at this time but none the less shocking to his colleagues and his unfortunate wife and 3 children.  Besides thinking about the victims in crimes such as these, I can’t help but feel a tremendous amount of grief for the families. What do these women do when their husbands or partners get charges like this laid against them? What is it like to live with the conviction of your spouse? I still come back to the question…Do you ever trust again?

Personally, I think this is just another reason why it is not in your best interest to be too trusting. Dirty little secrets are lurking everywhere. Even if their wives or partners had a suspicion and thought to dig deeper they would likely hear…”No dear, I’m not keeping anything from you?” ” Why are you asking me that?”  Why can’t you just trust me?”  “No, I don’t need to talk, nothing is going on.” Yes, you can trust me.” ……Apparently not! Big stuff was going on and it always amazes me how long these guys live like that before they get caught.

The perpetrators of these types of crimes seem to have a similar profile. Solid careers, married and they often have children or are around children in their weekly activities. Like Mr. Bencze, he was definitely involved in youth centric activities, coincidence or strategic? I guess we will find out. The one thing I know about cases such as this, due diligence is done in collecting the information and after properly reviewing the statement (s) charges are carefully considered. They don’t go before Crown Council or out into the public without a good sense there is merit to the allegations. To be proved in court, is the final hurdle everyone faces.

3. Violent crime and property crime is down in Vancouver, according to the Vancouver Police Department 2009 stats. However, sex offences are up. NO! You don’t say? Some are saying part of that stems from the entertainment district where hundreds of drunken men and women pour out on the streets every week. The men are fine for the most part with their safety. It’s the women that are targets; with a serial sex offender responsible for at least 8 attacks. We all know that’s just the women that reported, there will likely be many other victims who for whatever reason chose not to disclose. They say “we should have the right to walk around late at night” but you know, there will never be a day when women have full freedom like that.

I predicted a long time ago we will see an increase in these crimes in the coming years, for reasons I will not go into right now. Each of these stories make me shake my head in disgust.

4. Now, to add one more piece to my “steam rising”.…The Canadian Broadcast Standards Council banned the Dire Straits song “Money for Nothing”. A 1985 song that has the line “that little faggot” in it all of a sudden becomes an offensive slur that can not be repeated on radio????  OK, Rock and Roll lover here saying Dire Staits???“GIVE YOUR HEAD A SHAKE!” This is infuriating that one individual complains and all of a sudden we wipe a classic song off the airwaves. A song that is over 25 years old is just now getting yanked? A character in the song is getting demonized, now?  Have they listened to Eminem’s misogynistic and homophobic lyrics? Rap artists have notoriously engaged in using language and slurs that are offensive on so many levels. If they were really concerned with songs that defame, humiliate and degrade a segment of society they would have to ban most of what has been written about women.

In the end, it has been a week of blood boiling stories. Thankfully, in the writing of this I can let it go. News does that, doesn’t it? You find some weeks it can roll off your back and other weeks we take “We’re going to Hell in a hand basket” stance. Oh well, we all have our boiling points!