For Ken McKay and his wife Dusty that appears to be difficult to obtain. Instead, they found themselves separated when six months ago Dusty’s medical care needs exceeded his. The emotional toll this has taken on both of them was hard; tears welled up as I watched on Global BC news Elderly Okanagan Couple Appeal for Same Home. To hear what they were having to deal with was truly heartbreaking. Here is a man and woman who have survived through all the ups and downs that life brings, afforded so much time on this earth to spend together in love and marriage only to be ripped apart by a system whose roots are in health and care.

How is it healthy to remove from a person’s life their companion and confidante? How good can any care be when it places such pain, frustration, heartache and loneliness in two people’s lives? Where is the dignity when as we age other people make decisions for us that they would never wish upon themselves? At what point does our choice to live and die in the arms of the one we love become a logistical problem that must be handled by outside entities?

All too often seniors find themselves being dictated to and cast aside. We are a culture that houses our seniors more often in wait to die centers rather than creating strong at home care and independent living an affordable reality. It should not be so hard for this man and woman to receive the support necessary under one roof. We should embrace that option as a true sign of compassionate care till the end! To see this man break down in the way he did, apologize for his emotion and still try to fight to be united with his wife, is so admirable.

Sixty years of unity should not end as it has for others in the past because our health care authorities didn’t have the vision to provide a workable solution. Shame on the Interior Health and may everyone reading this realize we may one day find ourselves in a similar situation…who will speak for us? When we can’t take care of the people who need us most, it is not they that are weak, it is us.

I can tell you honestly, it is my least favourite thing to do. I’m always in awe of those that have no problem promoting and marketing. What came to me in the midst of helping my client with her job search was even the words cold call holds negativity. It sounds just like it is, “Cold.” It doesn’t project that there will be a happy, positive, productive outcome from making that call. It doesn’t scream “This is going to be a healthy conversation.” Instead, cold usually conjures up rigidness, freezing, a sense of “just get me out of here so I can warm up.”

We make calls on behalf of ourselves, family and business to people we don’t know all the time. We chat with people momentarily, whom we’ve never met, to gain information or to just share an observation. However, if there is even a hint that it may be a ‘cold call’ for job search or product/service marketing, fear sets in. This fear can be really huge for some people, sweating, tenseness in the throat, butterflies in the stomach…Yuck!

Well, here are some ideas that may help us all find some success:

1. Let’s change the name – I say “Cold Calling has to go!”  Make it more personal and find something to call it that conjures up a good image.

Strategic conversation ——-An invitation to know you or your product —-A helpful connection

Something that makes you feel less cold and more optimistic. (Maybe some of you have some ideas around alternative names, feel free to add in a comment)

2. Set yourself up before making that call with exactly what you need. Have a script that you rehearse and when it feels more natural make that first call. Keep the script in front of you, it’s a place to land when and if you feel a twinge of uncomfortableness. Have a glass of water there for a dry throat and eat before you start this; empty stomach means empty brain. Get pens and paper ready just in case you receive information for follow up.

3. Pick a no distractions room for your base of operations. Surround yourself with things that make you feel comfortable in that space. Let everyone know, including the dog that you are not to be disturbed!

4. Be yourself. In all other dealings your personality shines through. Sure, there is a professional voice and a hang out with your friends voice but that professional voice is still YOU. This is a brief interaction normally between you and another person, it isn’t like you have to recite the constitution.

5. Think about times when you have enjoyed talking with others in business. Most the time I have found, as was the case with my client, that people are making those type of connections with others and not realizing the essence of what they did would have been called a cold call.

6. Set yourself a goal of how many people you will contact and when that is obtained, regardless of the outcomes, give yourself a reward! Treat yourself to something – I’m big on treats for accomplishing both the large and small things in life and career.

7. Realize the  majority of people you are calling feel the same as you do. We are human, there is nervousness and all sorts of things going on no matter what side of the desk or phone you are on. Don’t take any rejection personally. That rejection, any way you look at, was the best thing that could have happened. (Personal growth or protection of your product it is all good)

8. Keep records of your contacts. This is your business and knowing who, why and when you spoke to someone is essential. If life happens right in the middle of this new found drive to connect, you don’t want to lose track of that hard earned information.

So, let’s make a movement to change cold calling to something more user friendly. Keep in mind, if you have troubles with marketing yourself then ask for help. I, and many others, are happy to help you see the value that you bring to our communities. Ultimately, you are the expert on you and once you discover that, you will never be left out in the cold.

Many years ago there was a great wind storm that thrash the coast leaving widespread damage. Both our property and our neighbours became casualties of that storm when a 100 foot + tree tore a swath from another backyard through ours and into theirs. Buildings, car and property all damage with one fall. Despite their own tragic circumstances my neighbour was the first to arrive to make sure I was OK. The person, whose tree caused the damage, didn’t show up till late that afternoon and provided no support to either of us in that moment or in the future as we cleaned up and rebuilt structures.

Last week, I thought our water pipe had burst but it turned out that a faucet had been left on and the seal to the hose mount broke.(that’s the best way I can describe it) Out poured water in the middle of a snowy, cold day. First on the scene, upon my call, was my neighbour. He discovered the problem and we both had a laugh. My visions of our crawlspace being  flooded were calmed, it was a minor situation, thankfully. What I remember distinctly was just how fast he came up the driveway to help.

His wife is such a warm person, she gives hugs and talks so sweetly. When were about to go on a trip she sent wishes that the “travel angels will take good care of us.” They kept an eye on our place while we were gone as we will do for them. They have offered help with our garden; he is a very talented landscaper. Recently, he decided he wanted to change the look of his frontyard, which is beautiful already, but larger beach rocks were about to be replaced by smaller ones. “Easier maintenance”, he said. This could not have been more fortuitous as we have wanted to use the large rocks for our property. Without hesitation he offered them to us, if we were willing to remove them from the pile he had already created, we could have them. Though he wanted no payment, we sent over a card and small gift certificate for the garden centre. It was the least we could do.

Peace of mind comes when you know your neighbours. A sense of community is built on making that first effort to say “Hi” or smile. When I walk down to my local stores I make a point of acknowledging as many people as possible with a smile or greeting. In the worst situations it is not emergency crews who will be first on scene, nor family, it will be your neighbour. It is so comforting to know that I live in a home that has the added bonus of being right next door to good people, caring people! I hope you have the same in your neighbourhood.

It was disappointing that we weren’t going to see too much of Ricky and I assume it had something to do with the stick in the mud audience he had to work with. My God! I don’t know why they even film these awards? The camera panned around looking for signs of life but it seemed rather odd. Without the added humor of Gervais all we would be doing is watching a bunch of egomaniac actors sit around eat, drink, walk around and yack throughout most of the show. (Up until their names are rattled off and then they are suddenly fixated on the proceedings)

Humor like art is subjective. There was some laughter for his opening monologue but it seemed somewhat awkward, maybe some attendees feared they might be in the line of fire and be roasted or they still have unresolved feelings from last year. Some actors did take exception to his humor; felt like he had trashed them. So, this year they might have opted to show whose boss by either ignoring him on stage or giving him the hairy eyeball. Bunch of babies!

Since the show, I have heard countless people on radio and TV bring up their opinions around his hosting. They talk about how he is off to England after a ratings bomb and they focus on who he offended. In fact, the ratings were on par pretty much to last year with over 16 million viewers. I’m not sure who all these people are that create such controversy around his appearances but either Hollywood doesn’t have a sense of humor, the media is searching for a story or a Brits “tell it like it is” talk is too much for United States sensibilities. Maybe the ratings aren’t really going anywhere fast because there are people like me who would rather watch paint dry than sit around watching Hollywood’s elite dine, booze it up and then drone on endlessly about who to thank for their good fortune. Just a thought.

Thankfully, Ricky takes it in stride and will continue to make us laugh.

Check out Ricky Gervais Website

“I want to get high and party.” > “I feel less shy.” > “It makes me feel good.” > “I want to escape” > “When I do drugs it is much easier for me to say and do things I normally wouldn’t do.”  > “People like me better when I’m on drugs.” > “My friends do it.”

So many reasons to take drugs, seemingly harmless in the eyes of the user, until you wind up six feet under from an overdose or tainted drugs. Ecstasy holds no joy or rapture in those final moments.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Ecstasy it is related to amphetamines, stimulants with some good ol’ fashion hallucinogenics thrown in for an extra kick. The chemical itself, 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine or to make it easier to say, MDMA has some far reaching appeal. Those who have taken it, talk about the euphoria, the confidence they get and boost of energy. On chat rooms you can find people who say they felt more love, less inhibitions, hyper sensitive to feelings and more sexual. That might not sound so bad until you get a dose of the truth; there is a far more sinister side to this drug.

Ecstasy causes increased blood pressure and heart rate, nausea, anxiety attacks, vomiting and a whole host of other not so nice side effects that can sometimes last for days or weeks. Given that many users like to partake during raves, dances, concerts or in other mass gatherings, all that extra exertion can make things worse. On top of that, you don’t have scientist concocting this stuff. Instead, you have some low life, most likely affiliated to a gang who doesn’t give a crap about the safety of his product. Gathered in some basement or warehouse is all the chemicals these people need to kill.

What makes these deaths stand out, as if the loss alone shouldn’t be enough, is the emergence of PMMA a highly potent extra amphetamine that is cheaper to produce but has a long history of being lethal. Where was it first developed? According to an online resource Enotes.com PMA  ,it was first produced by a Canadian laboratory in 1973. (Wow, that is not something to be proud of) Of course, this drugs apparent rise in use lately may be attributed to the fact that British Columbia made the chemicals that make ecstasy illegal. Always one up on us, the mad non-scientist gang members find another way to bring product to market.

An RCMP report on illicit drugs states that ” in 2008, successful law enforcement investigations resulted in nationwide seizures of MDMA totaling an estimated 1.5 million tablets and 273 kilograms. These figures underscore the entrenched MDMA trade in Canada, as well as the sustainability of this drug’s popularity and its central role in the illicit synthetic drug trade at the global level. ” Its popularity is evident and apparently hasn’t waned much as we find ourselves in 2012 still discussing the affects on our society. Piggy back popularity with the “it’s not going to happen to me” attitude and what we have is dead kids.

Inevitably, when these things occur, the debate opens up about other drugs. The gateway drug argument and a whole host of other youth in crisis discussions begin to surface again. Checking out the Canadian Centre on Substance Abuse I came across the following information. In a Cross Canada Report on Student Alcohol and Drug Use, there were some stats that may be surprising. Based on data collected during 2007-2008 for students in grades 7, 9, 10 and 12 (i.e. , youth approximately 12-18 years old)... alcohol use in the past year is about twice as prevalent as cannabis use for all grades combined (46% to 62%) versus (17% to 32%) respectively.

So, that leads me to wonder just what is the real gateway drug? and At what point does taking ecstasy become the next step up to getting high? All I know for sure is there are people’s children dying, families ripped apart by something so small but powerful. Manufactured by maniacs who are grateful for the innocence of their consumers. A tiny pill that gets rave reviews by users until they see their friend lying dead on the floor.

So, how do we get the message out that this stuff is going to kill you? Can we change what has been inherent since the beginning of civilization, people want to get high? Where do we go from here?