Wonderful news since my last post! After hearing about the elderly couple Ken and Dusty McKay, who after 62 years of marriage had been placed in separate care homes by Interior Health, I am elated to now report they are reunited. I’m sure this comes as a result of both media attention and public outrage as there was some pressure to bare on the health authority.

Everyone with an ounce of compassion could appreciate not only the need to eliminate the stress this caused for this couple (and their family) but more importantly that their precious bond be protected. There are many marriages that do not survive 20 years never mind 60+, we must not only celebrate such commitments but also make sure that only death parts life companions not bureaucracy.

Elderly Couple Reunited

For Ken McKay and his wife Dusty that appears to be difficult to obtain. Instead, they found themselves separated when six months ago Dusty’s medical care needs exceeded his. The emotional toll this has taken on both of them was hard; tears welled up as I watched on Global BC news Elderly Okanagan Couple Appeal for Same Home. To hear what they were having to deal with was truly heartbreaking. Here is a man and woman who have survived through all the ups and downs that life brings, afforded so much time on this earth to spend together in love and marriage only to be ripped apart by a system whose roots are in health and care.

How is it healthy to remove from a person’s life their companion and confidante? How good can any care be when it places such pain, frustration, heartache and loneliness in two people’s lives? Where is the dignity when as we age other people make decisions for us that they would never wish upon themselves? At what point does our choice to live and die in the arms of the one we love become a logistical problem that must be handled by outside entities?

All too often seniors find themselves being dictated to and cast aside. We are a culture that houses our seniors more often in wait to die centers rather than creating strong at home care and independent living an affordable reality. It should not be so hard for this man and woman to receive the support necessary under one roof. We should embrace that option as a true sign of compassionate care till the end! To see this man break down in the way he did, apologize for his emotion and still try to fight to be united with his wife, is so admirable.

Sixty years of unity should not end as it has for others in the past because our health care authorities didn’t have the vision to provide a workable solution. Shame on the Interior Health and may everyone reading this realize we may one day find ourselves in a similar situation…who will speak for us? When we can’t take care of the people who need us most, it is not they that are weak, it is us.

I can tell you honestly, it is my least favourite thing to do. I’m always in awe of those that have no problem promoting and marketing. What came to me in the midst of helping my client with her job search was even the words cold call holds negativity. It sounds just like it is, “Cold.” It doesn’t project that there will be a happy, positive, productive outcome from making that call. It doesn’t scream “This is going to be a healthy conversation.” Instead, cold usually conjures up rigidness, freezing, a sense of “just get me out of here so I can warm up.”

We make calls on behalf of ourselves, family and business to people we don’t know all the time. We chat with people momentarily, whom we’ve never met, to gain information or to just share an observation. However, if there is even a hint that it may be a ‘cold call’ for job search or product/service marketing, fear sets in. This fear can be really huge for some people, sweating, tenseness in the throat, butterflies in the stomach…Yuck!

Well, here are some ideas that may help us all find some success:

1. Let’s change the name – I say “Cold Calling has to go!”  Make it more personal and find something to call it that conjures up a good image.

Strategic conversation ——-An invitation to know you or your product —-A helpful connection

Something that makes you feel less cold and more optimistic. (Maybe some of you have some ideas around alternative names, feel free to add in a comment)

2. Set yourself up before making that call with exactly what you need. Have a script that you rehearse and when it feels more natural make that first call. Keep the script in front of you, it’s a place to land when and if you feel a twinge of uncomfortableness. Have a glass of water there for a dry throat and eat before you start this; empty stomach means empty brain. Get pens and paper ready just in case you receive information for follow up.

3. Pick a no distractions room for your base of operations. Surround yourself with things that make you feel comfortable in that space. Let everyone know, including the dog that you are not to be disturbed!

4. Be yourself. In all other dealings your personality shines through. Sure, there is a professional voice and a hang out with your friends voice but that professional voice is still YOU. This is a brief interaction normally between you and another person, it isn’t like you have to recite the constitution.

5. Think about times when you have enjoyed talking with others in business. Most the time I have found, as was the case with my client, that people are making those type of connections with others and not realizing the essence of what they did would have been called a cold call.

6. Set yourself a goal of how many people you will contact and when that is obtained, regardless of the outcomes, give yourself a reward! Treat yourself to something – I’m big on treats for accomplishing both the large and small things in life and career.

7. Realize the  majority of people you are calling feel the same as you do. We are human, there is nervousness and all sorts of things going on no matter what side of the desk or phone you are on. Don’t take any rejection personally. That rejection, any way you look at, was the best thing that could have happened. (Personal growth or protection of your product it is all good)

8. Keep records of your contacts. This is your business and knowing who, why and when you spoke to someone is essential. If life happens right in the middle of this new found drive to connect, you don’t want to lose track of that hard earned information.

So, let’s make a movement to change cold calling to something more user friendly. Keep in mind, if you have troubles with marketing yourself then ask for help. I, and many others, are happy to help you see the value that you bring to our communities. Ultimately, you are the expert on you and once you discover that, you will never be left out in the cold.

Many years ago there was a great wind storm that thrash the coast leaving widespread damage. Both our property and our neighbours became casualties of that storm when a 100 foot + tree tore a swath from another backyard through ours and into theirs. Buildings, car and property all damage with one fall. Despite their own tragic circumstances my neighbour was the first to arrive to make sure I was OK. The person, whose tree caused the damage, didn’t show up till late that afternoon and provided no support to either of us in that moment or in the future as we cleaned up and rebuilt structures.

Last week, I thought our water pipe had burst but it turned out that a faucet had been left on and the seal to the hose mount broke.(that’s the best way I can describe it) Out poured water in the middle of a snowy, cold day. First on the scene, upon my call, was my neighbour. He discovered the problem and we both had a laugh. My visions of our crawlspace being  flooded were calmed, it was a minor situation, thankfully. What I remember distinctly was just how fast he came up the driveway to help.

His wife is such a warm person, she gives hugs and talks so sweetly. When were about to go on a trip she sent wishes that the “travel angels will take good care of us.” They kept an eye on our place while we were gone as we will do for them. They have offered help with our garden; he is a very talented landscaper. Recently, he decided he wanted to change the look of his frontyard, which is beautiful already, but larger beach rocks were about to be replaced by smaller ones. “Easier maintenance”, he said. This could not have been more fortuitous as we have wanted to use the large rocks for our property. Without hesitation he offered them to us, if we were willing to remove them from the pile he had already created, we could have them. Though he wanted no payment, we sent over a card and small gift certificate for the garden centre. It was the least we could do.

Peace of mind comes when you know your neighbours. A sense of community is built on making that first effort to say “Hi” or smile. When I walk down to my local stores I make a point of acknowledging as many people as possible with a smile or greeting. In the worst situations it is not emergency crews who will be first on scene, nor family, it will be your neighbour. It is so comforting to know that I live in a home that has the added bonus of being right next door to good people, caring people! I hope you have the same in your neighbourhood.

There are two websites I found for North American readers who may be interested in finding out more about working outside your country but where ever you are the best thing to do is Google ‘working abroad.’ For Canadians, Foreign Affair and International Trade Canada has Working Abroad – Unravelling the Maze . There is downloadable information along with plenty of advice on what to consider before booking that flight to your dream work destination. The United States Government website offers a list of resources at their International Jobs – Working Overseas page.

One of the things that currently stops me from exploring this further is family commitments. I’m not sure I can be away from those I love very long. Clearly, I’m not as adventurous as I would like to think I am or maybe just to loyal to move on, just in case I’m needed. Still, the idea comes up in my mind from time to time and I go off dreaming about what it might be like to pack up and spend some months or years abroad. Living, loving, working and learning.

Have you packed up and moved somewhere else for work? How was it?

or

Have you always wanted to work in another country? and What is preventing you from acting on that desire?