You would think the healthiest medicine is to be with the one you love. However, two seniors found out that after 60 years of marriage the thing that would come between them was Interior Health. IH is a health authority that was set up to serve communities in the interior of British Columbia. It provides many services which includes Seniors Care and boasts on its website “we’re working hard to provide a range of health care options that promote independence, choice and dignity.”

For Ken McKay and his wife Dusty that appears to be difficult to obtain. Instead, they found themselves separated when six months ago Dusty’s medical care needs exceeded his. The emotional toll this has taken on both of them was hard; tears welled up as I watched on Global BC news Elderly Okanagan Couple Appeal for Same Home. To hear what they were having to deal with was truly heartbreaking. Here is a man and woman who have survived through all the ups and downs that life brings, afforded so much time on this earth to spend together in love and marriage only to be ripped apart by a system whose roots are in health and care.

How is it healthy to remove from a person’s life their companion and confidante? How good can any care be when it places such pain, frustration, heartache and loneliness in two people’s lives? Where is the dignity when as we age other people make decisions for us that they would never wish upon themselves? At what point does our choice to live and die in the arms of the one we love become a logistical problem that must be handled by outside entities?

All too often seniors find themselves being dictated to and cast aside. We are a culture that houses our seniors more often in wait to die centers rather than creating strong at home care and independent living an affordable reality. It should not be so hard for this man and woman to receive the support necessary under one roof. We should embrace that option as a true sign of compassionate care till the end! To see this man break down in the way he did, apologize for his emotion and still try to fight to be united with his wife, is so admirable.

Sixty years of unity should not end as it has for others in the past because our health care authorities didn’t have the vision to provide a workable solution. Shame on the Interior Health and may everyone reading this realize we may one day find ourselves in a similar situation…who will speak for us? When we can’t take care of the people who need us most, it is not they that are weak, it is us.

Inspired by a client, I’m prompted to address the fear associated with Cold Calling. For those that maybe haven’t heard of this term, it is used in marketing. It means that you get in touch with someone either by phone or face to face, that you don’t know, with the intention to market your product or self.

I can tell you honestly, it is my least favourite thing to do. I’m always in awe of those that have no problem promoting and marketing. What came to me in the midst of helping my client with her job search was even the words cold call holds negativity. It sounds just like it is, “Cold.” It doesn’t project that there will be a happy, positive, productive outcome from making that call. It doesn’t scream “This is going to be a healthy conversation.” Instead, cold usually conjures up rigidness, freezing, a sense of “just get me out of here so I can warm up.”

We make calls on behalf of ourselves, family and business to people we don’t know all the time. We chat with people momentarily, whom we’ve never met, to gain information or to just share an observation. However, if there is even a hint that it may be a ‘cold call’ for job search or product/service marketing, fear sets in. This fear can be really huge for some people, sweating, tenseness in the throat, butterflies in the stomach…Yuck!

Well, here are some ideas that may help us all find some success:

1. Let’s change the name – I say “Cold Calling has to go!”  Make it more personal and find something to call it that conjures up a good image.

Strategic conversation ——-An invitation to know you or your product —-A helpful connection

Something that makes you feel less cold and more optimistic. (Maybe some of you have some ideas around alternative names, feel free to add in a comment)

2. Set yourself up before making that call with exactly what you need. Have a script that you rehearse and when it feels more natural make that first call. Keep the script in front of you, it’s a place to land when and if you feel a twinge of uncomfortableness. Have a glass of water there for a dry throat and eat before you start this; empty stomach means empty brain. Get pens and paper ready just in case you receive information for follow up.

3. Pick a no distractions room for your base of operations. Surround yourself with things that make you feel comfortable in that space. Let everyone know, including the dog that you are not to be disturbed!

4. Be yourself. In all other dealings your personality shines through. Sure, there is a professional voice and a hang out with your friends voice but that professional voice is still YOU. This is a brief interaction normally between you and another person, it isn’t like you have to recite the constitution.

5. Think about times when you have enjoyed talking with others in business. Most the time I have found, as was the case with my client, that people are making those type of connections with others and not realizing the essence of what they did would have been called a cold call.

6. Set yourself a goal of how many people you will contact and when that is obtained, regardless of the outcomes, give yourself a reward! Treat yourself to something – I’m big on treats for accomplishing both the large and small things in life and career.

7. Realize the  majority of people you are calling feel the same as you do. We are human, there is nervousness and all sorts of things going on no matter what side of the desk or phone you are on. Don’t take any rejection personally. That rejection, any way you look at, was the best thing that could have happened. (Personal growth or protection of your product it is all good)

8. Keep records of your contacts. This is your business and knowing who, why and when you spoke to someone is essential. If life happens right in the middle of this new found drive to connect, you don’t want to lose track of that hard earned information.

So, let’s make a movement to change cold calling to something more user friendly. Keep in mind, if you have troubles with marketing yourself then ask for help. I, and many others, are happy to help you see the value that you bring to our communities. Ultimately, you are the expert on you and once you discover that, you will never be left out in the cold.

At a time when most people say they don’t know their neighbours, I am so proud to say I know at least one and that relationship is truly valued. My husband and I live next door to a couple who truly are wonderful. It is not that we get together in a social way but we are there for each other. What makes a good neighbour is someone who cares about your well being, that if you called they would be there for you and that is exactly how these people are.

Many years ago there was a great wind storm that thrash the coast leaving widespread damage. Both our property and our neighbours became casualties of that storm when a 100 foot + tree tore a swath from another backyard through ours and into theirs. Buildings, car and property all damage with one fall. Despite their own tragic circumstances my neighbour was the first to arrive to make sure I was OK. The person, whose tree caused the damage, didn’t show up till late that afternoon and provided no support to either of us in that moment or in the future as we cleaned up and rebuilt structures.

Last week, I thought our water pipe had burst but it turned out that a faucet had been left on and the seal to the hose mount broke.(that’s the best way I can describe it) Out poured water in the middle of a snowy, cold day. First on the scene, upon my call, was my neighbour. He discovered the problem and we both had a laugh. My visions of our crawlspace being  flooded were calmed, it was a minor situation, thankfully. What I remember distinctly was just how fast he came up the driveway to help.

His wife is such a warm person, she gives hugs and talks so sweetly. When were about to go on a trip she sent wishes that the “travel angels will take good care of us.” They kept an eye on our place while we were gone as we will do for them. They have offered help with our garden; he is a very talented landscaper. Recently, he decided he wanted to change the look of his frontyard, which is beautiful already, but larger beach rocks were about to be replaced by smaller ones. “Easier maintenance”, he said. This could not have been more fortuitous as we have wanted to use the large rocks for our property. Without hesitation he offered them to us, if we were willing to remove them from the pile he had already created, we could have them. Though he wanted no payment, we sent over a card and small gift certificate for the garden centre. It was the least we could do.

Peace of mind comes when you know your neighbours. A sense of community is built on making that first effort to say “Hi” or smile. When I walk down to my local stores I make a point of acknowledging as many people as possible with a smile or greeting. In the worst situations it is not emergency crews who will be first on scene, nor family, it will be your neighbour. It is so comforting to know that I live in a home that has the added bonus of being right next door to good people, caring people! I hope you have the same in your neighbourhood.

It seems that every time I travel or even watch a travel show on television I can’t help but wonder, what it would be like to work abroad. For me, it’s not so much the idea of ‘working’ but that I would get the opportunity to explore a country and its people for more than just the standard week or two vacation time. Of course, there is the added benefit of honing my skills, expanding my career and coming back home with a greater base from which to work from in the future.

There are two websites I found for North American readers who may be interested in finding out more about working outside your country but where ever you are the best thing to do is Google ‘working abroad.’ For Canadians, Foreign Affair and International Trade Canada has Working Abroad – Unravelling the Maze . There is downloadable information along with plenty of advice on what to consider before booking that flight to your dream work destination. The United States Government website offers a list of resources at their International Jobs – Working Overseas page.

One of the things that currently stops me from exploring this further is family commitments. I’m not sure I can be away from those I love very long. Clearly, I’m not as adventurous as I would like to think I am or maybe just to loyal to move on, just in case I’m needed. Still, the idea comes up in my mind from time to time and I go off dreaming about what it might be like to pack up and spend some months or years abroad. Living, loving, working and learning.

Have you packed up and moved somewhere else for work? How was it?

or

Have you always wanted to work in another country? and What is preventing you from acting on that desire?

I watched the opening of the 2012 Golden Globes just so I could see comedian Ricky Gervais. The guy is brilliant! One sentence roles out of his mouth and I was laughing. Why would I say it was a golden performance? Because no actor in film ever has to do their act with restrictions, hostility and indifference directly facing them and still remain centered on their performance.  On an actors set everyone bends over backwards to support them; that doesn’t appear to be the case for Ricky.

It was disappointing that we weren’t going to see too much of Ricky and I assume it had something to do with the stick in the mud audience he had to work with. My God! I don’t know why they even film these awards? The camera panned around looking for signs of life but it seemed rather odd. Without the added humor of Gervais all we would be doing is watching a bunch of egomaniac actors sit around eat, drink, walk around and yack throughout most of the show. (Up until their names are rattled off and then they are suddenly fixated on the proceedings)

Humor like art is subjective. There was some laughter for his opening monologue but it seemed somewhat awkward, maybe some attendees feared they might be in the line of fire and be roasted or they still have unresolved feelings from last year. Some actors did take exception to his humor; felt like he had trashed them. So, this year they might have opted to show whose boss by either ignoring him on stage or giving him the hairy eyeball. Bunch of babies!

Since the show, I have heard countless people on radio and TV bring up their opinions around his hosting. They talk about how he is off to England after a ratings bomb and they focus on who he offended. In fact, the ratings were on par pretty much to last year with over 16 million viewers. I’m not sure who all these people are that create such controversy around his appearances but either Hollywood doesn’t have a sense of humor, the media is searching for a story or a Brits “tell it like it is” talk is too much for United States sensibilities. Maybe the ratings aren’t really going anywhere fast because there are people like me who would rather watch paint dry than sit around watching Hollywood’s elite dine, booze it up and then drone on endlessly about who to thank for their good fortune. Just a thought.

Thankfully, Ricky takes it in stride and will continue to make us laugh.

Check out Ricky Gervais Website

Nineteen deaths, youth between the ages of 14 and 22, gone because…

“I want to get high and party.” > “I feel less shy.” > “It makes me feel good.” > “I want to escape” > “When I do drugs it is much easier for me to say and do things I normally wouldn’t do.”  > “People like me better when I’m on drugs.” > “My friends do it.”

So many reasons to take drugs, seemingly harmless in the eyes of the user, until you wind up six feet under from an overdose or hospitalized from misuse or tainted drugs. Ecstasy holds no joy or rapture in those final moments.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Ecstasy it is related to amphetamines, stimulants with some good ol’ fashion hallucinogenics thrown in for an extra kick. The chemical itself, 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine or to make it easier to say, MDMA has some far reaching appeal. Those who have taken it, talk about the euphoria, the confidence they get and boost of energy. On chat rooms you can find people who say they felt more love, less inhibitions, hyper sensitive to feelings and more sexual. That might not sound so bad until you get a dose of the truth; there is a far more sinister side to this drug.

Ecstasy causes increased blood pressure and heart rate, nausea, anxiety attacks, vomiting and a whole host of other not so nice side effects that can sometimes last for days or weeks. Given that many users like to partake during raves, dances, concerts or in other mass gatherings, all that extra exertion can make things worse. On top of that, you don’t have scientist concocting this stuff. Instead, you have some low life, most likely affiliated to a gang who doesn’t give a crap about the safety of his product. Gathered in some basement or warehouse is all the chemicals these people need to kill.

What makes these deaths stand out, as if the loss alone shouldn’t be enough, is the emergence of PMMA a highly potent extra amphetamine that is cheaper to produce but has a long history of being lethal. Where was it first developed? According to an online resource Enotes.com PMA  ,it was first produced by a Canadian laboratory in 1973. (Wow, that is not something to be proud of) Of course, this drugs apparent rise in use lately may be attributed to the fact that British Columbia made the chemicals that make ecstasy illegal. Always one up on us, the mad non-scientist gang members find another way to bring product to market.

An RCMP report on illicit drugs states that ” in 2008, successful law enforcement investigations resulted in nationwide seizures of MDMA totaling an estimated 1.5 million tablets and 273 kilograms. These figures underscore the entrenched MDMA trade in Canada, as well as the sustainability of this drug’s popularity and its central role in the illicit synthetic drug trade at the global level. ” Its popularity is evident and apparently hasn’t waned much as we find ourselves in 2012 still discussing the affects on our society. Piggy back popularity with the “it’s not going to happen to me” attitude and what we have is dead kids.

Inevitably, when these things occur, the debate opens up about other drugs. The gateway drug argument and a whole host of other youth in crisis discussions begin to surface again. Checking out the Canadian Centre on Substance Abuse I came across the following information. In a Cross Canada Report on Student Alcohol and Drug Use, there were some stats that may be surprising. Based on data collected during 2007-2008 for students in grades 7, 9, 10 and 12 (i.e. , youth approximately 12-18 years old)... alcohol use in the past year is about twice as prevalent as cannabis use for all grades combined (46% to 62%) versus (17% to 32%) respectively.

So, that leads me to wonder just what is the real gateway drug? and At what point does taking ecstasy become the next step up to getting high? All I know for sure is there are people’s children dying, families ripped apart by something so small but powerful. Manufactured by maniacs who are grateful for the innocence of their consumers. A tiny pill that gets rave reviews by users until they see their friend lying dead on the floor.

So, how do we get the message out that this stuff is going to kill you? Can we change what has been inherent since the beginning of civilization, people want to get high? Where do we go from here?

Career criminal Tracy Lloyd Caza must be laughing at the justice system while the rest of us are hanging our heads or raising our fists.

With 78 convictions notched on his belt he continues to whip us all. Labeled 'a high risk to re-offend' Caza lived up to his designation by re-offending soon after release from prison in December. Despite arrest and charges of sexual assault, assault and uttering threats against a female, Mr. Caza was released on bail the following day; not even a full two weeks into January. Unaffected, he was later found in possession of drugs which, of course, is a breach of conditions.

How can there be anyone left in this Province of British Columbia that can say, the system is working! Really?  Certainly not in this case. Given the length of Caza's record it is safe to say it has been broken for some time. This a joke that anyone could repeatedly break the law and still be released into our communities. What does it take for our Government to see the need for an overhaul of this laughable system.

By now, everyone is focused on the conviction numbers associated with this man's despicable life but there are victims whose singular experience with him changed how they live. A string of stories that chronicle the impact this lowest form of human has had on our society. He doesn't even have a preference for his criminal activity, he breaks all the laws, drug possession, theft, assault, sexual assault and a host of other acts dating back to 1977.

People across this country are looking for help from the powers that be. Whether it is through Federal crime bills like c-10 or Provincial clout that will take cases like this one and blow it wide open. We want action! There are more questions than answers that need to be addressed from the parole board through to judges and crown counsel. Who is protecting us from people like this? The police can't just hand out a warning to the media without clear information that warrants such a measure. Though, they tried, it is impossible to keep guys like Caza from claiming his next victim.

The only place, angry but law abiding citizens should be in order to defend our rights, is occupying our court rooms. Taking up the challenge to keep a spotlight on cases such as this. Mr. Caza may hold some uniqueness in his convictions but he is certainly not the only criminal to be perpetually enjoying the revolving door of our courts and prisons. If the general public had a chance to see the files of many who pass in and out of our system they would most likely be stunned by how many charges were dropped not because the person didn't commit the crimes but because our justice system is either too slow to convict or too quick to simplify the counts against.

We are weak and though we will momentarily rise up to address Caza he will prove only one of many who laugh as they leave our courts or prisons. We are all just one moment away from living amidst the likes of Tracy Lloyd Caza.

As I head out of the Christmas break and into this new year there is always two things I can count on…

1. That surprise look on my face when I get my Visa bill.

2. The sluggish pace by which I move as I head into the new year.

The post holiday bills really seem to hurt the most. I don’t see myself as a huge spender but still somehow that bank of mine seems to get a few hundred out of me every month and at Christmas it jumps again. I don’t know about you, but I have to go over each item just to remind myself “What the heck did I buy?” Some of it is pre-payments for gym membership and business needs but other items are low NEED, high WANT things that are already done and gone before I even fully pay for them.

The post holiday blues is not so much down in the dumps thinking but more so I can’t get myself to WAKE UP! I got used to wearing my sluffies (otherwise known as pyjamas or yoga pants) for days on end. Shutting down my office for two weeks I was without clients and able to turn my brain off. Now, I need to ramp it up again and my body is saying “What are you trying to do here, I’m resting.” Intellectually, I know I have to get busy but I’m a tortoise in a hare world right now.

Least I know I’m consistent. Come January 2013, I will be facing the bills and blues all over again – my money fast out of the wallet and my body not so fast out of the gate.

This past year I set out to read three books on the topic of Human Sex Trafficking. The first was Invisible Chains by Benjamin Perrin. The second was The Natashas by Victor Malarek and the third was The Johns also by Victor Malarek. Through the pages I traveled into the dark recesses of this perverse world of slavery. Not because I enjoy reading about the suffering of others but because I am desperate to understand how this crime against humanity continues to prevail.  I want to share with you what I learned.

* There are hundreds of thousands of women and children every year who are trafficked for the purposes of sexual exploitation. Near to me and probably close to you there is a place, whether it be a brothel, a strip club, a massage parlor or a porn establishment, that is connected to the business of human trafficking.

* Wherever the military, peacekeepers and large sporting events are, so too are the traffickers. They set up shop or expand on the existing sexual services to accommodate the influx of men ready to pay for play. In many countries in which these men are stationed it is not uncommon to find that a short trek down the road will lead straight to booming music, booze  and the solicitation from an abused, prostituted girl, who pastes a fake smile on her face.

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I want to feel fulfilled at the end of the day. I want to feel what I do matters. I want to feel like I’m living up to my potential. I want to make a difference.

All of these statements, and more, represent what I have heard from others and have even uttered myself. They are at the core of our reasons for working but how we get to them is often the challenge. What we should know, going in, is that we don’t work solely for money. If it was about money the Oprah Winfrey’s and Donald Trumps of the world could have quit a long time ago. However, there was a time perhaps when money was a strong motivator.

Remember that first JOB you received? That was most likely born out of a need for pocket money or to keep a roof over your head. I remember my first “real” job as a retail sales clerk, I needed it! I had left home and survival was my only true reason for dropping off resumes. Soon into my job, I quickly realized there is more to this than just a paycheque. At the end of the day I went home going over my experience and realized “Hey! I like this” or “Hey, I don’t like that.” I became aware that I had ethics…I didn’t know the definition of the word so much but I knew the feeling and I had preferences that made me strong in certain areas of my work. It was important to me that what I did mattered and that I was authentic in my dealings with people.

There are so many examples of how we go from the “job” to developing  our careers; shaped in profound ways. The definition of ourselves and those around us expands expediently through the career, which as I have mentioned before is the sum total of all your life experiences. How magnificent that you, unique in all the world, gets to contribute your talents to the betterment of our communities. Whether paid or unpaid, it does not matter, as you are welcome to make a difference. Having said that, “making a difference” should not be something you painfully strive for. I see and hear about so many people tortured by the question “How can I make a difference?” You already are! You are here. That may seem so insignificant from your perspective but not from those who have come in contact with you, been loved by you, been nurtured by your spirit.

To feel fulfilled at the end of any day is to look for one thing you learned that you didn’t know yesterday. It can be about yourself, someone else or the world. In taking in that piece of information you may well be enhancing your career, let alone your personal life. How many times have you used something you have learned personally and applied it to a professional situation. In that moment, in the success of that one moment, you have fulfilled something you were meant to do. Things don’t have to be grandiose in order to be impressive; simplicity fits wonderfully in our space.

To live up to your potential, I believe, you must be truly open to possibilities; not strangling its energy in ‘should be’s’ nor marring it in unrealistic timelines. A while back I had a young man in my classroom that was worried that he was not living up to his ‘purpose’, he felt God had a plan and he was not hearing what that plan was. It was painful to see in his face that he believed time was ticking away and he wasn’t getting things right. He was in his early twenties. What struck me in the course of our discussion, is that while he toiled over his perceived shortfalls he was unable to devote energy to hearing the answers to his own questions. He is a brilliant, talented, intelligent young man, already doing incredible things for his family and community but that in itself was not enough.

We have all the answers we need inside ourselves. If we truly are open to the natural rhythms of our life than we can trust that we live in harmony with what is possible every day. If we listened without the noise of “yes buts” and “what ifs” our potential would not seem so dependent on outside entities. We often get in the way of ourselves, restrained by fictitious outcomes and old voices in our heads.

We live up to our potential the minute we break free from those chains and begin to open up the question “What’s next?” with the enthusiasm of a child rather than being stunned by the veracity of our experiences.

At the end of the day if you really want a fulfilling career you must be very clear about what you value. Be open to learning in all of its forms, which includes, through people you initially did not perceive were your teachers.

You must be aware of that emotional blueprint that exist within us all, which is manifested most when you are doing something you love to do. That twinge of excitement, relaxed state, pure bliss moment; times when you have dropped all guard.

Don’t look to others to validate your existence or direction because many will surely let you down. Instead, trust that you came into this world to learn your own lessons and everything that comes your way is already in service of realizing those goals.

Don’t compare yourself to others, they have very distinct paths they are to follow. If you really want to see the magnificence of living your purpose or potential look to nature.

From the mightiest tree to the smallest insect everything matters – it truly is a sacred circle.