The battle over censorship in our outer world rages on. Although, one could argue much of what would have been high on the list of censored material or speech is becoming less and less of an issue. The anything goes, over exposed, live for yourself society of today, imposes little in the way of boundaries one cannot cross.

Censorship from within, however, is still prevalent. We consciously monitor what we are wanting to say in close relationships or those of professional significance. In examining our social circles we can often find ourselves taking more time to evaluate whether what we are intending to communicate will be objectionable or misinterpreted. After all, these people will be around us more and some can be ultra sensitive on certain topics. So, rather than be completely free to openly express a thought we are forced to scrutinize so much of what we say before it ever leaves our lips.

It can be exhausting and quite disingenuous. How can we be having an honest, sincere discussion, if before we speak our true thoughts go through a last second filtering system? Censorship from within is something we have all learned to do to some degree or another but to me it feels as if a part of self is truly being stifled, not usually for civility sake.

Women traditionally were schooled in the ways of making others feel important (mainly men) in conversation. To be good little listener’s and not be overly knowledgeable so as to turn off a potential “suitor.” Today’s women don’t worry about that so much, but I wouldn’t say that there isn’t still some of that old school thinking interlaced with our social makeup. Many times I have overheard conversation with women, who I know have the capacity to add more, but appear to be holding back. I too, have found myself in similar situations and again come away angry for my lack of truly honoring myself and in some ways the other person(s).

Censorship from within keeps us at arms length. How can anyone truly know us if only a small portion of our story is being told? Do we truly get a chance to fully express ourselves? Does it become a train wreck or a non-conversation because of our verbal constipation? Stuck inside of us is a whole lot to say, but all that comes out is what is considered acceptable to the audience in front of us.

This is what separates us from true friendship, where freedom of expression is truly honored and trusted as opposed to the confines of a previously labeled existence in the eyes of another. Censorship for the sake of etiquette and civility I can live with. Censorship because we will be chastised or deemed unsuitable, I can not endorse. Living with verbal constipation is not a healthy existence…all that pent up dialogue could have you conversing solely with the voices in your head. Better and less critical listeners, I would guess, but I fail to see how anyone on the outside wins.