This morning a large spider, the largest I have ever seen, thought it was a good idea to hang out in my bathroom sink. Upon going to wash my hands he and I met. It wasn’t a good meeting as I backed slowly out of the room to contemplate how he was going to die.
Now, I’m normally the type of person who attempts to set even flies free if possible, it’s just too hard to watch them continuously bang up against the window seeking their freedom. However, I have a different policy for spiders, if they remain outside the home they live, if they trespass on the inside I invoke a US type state law with the right to bear arms and protect myself and property.
It was clear he was too big to flush down the drain, and he would have survived being sucked up into the vacuum cleaner. So, the only option remained the time honored approach of death by shoe. I looked at the available shoes, one size 11 runner…won’t fit in the sink. One nice brown strappy pump…not willing to sacrifice my pretty shoe. There it was – the small flip flop. Cleans off easily and will fit in sink.
I approached my sink cautiously, took a deep breath and then splat! A sound I will not describe in depth let me know I had succeeded. Still too big to wash down I proceeded with a big mound of paper towel and gathered up his lifeless body to be taken to his new burial in the outside garbage can.
My heart pounding, I felt no remorse. Sometimes we have to do what we have to do to survive comfortably in our home. My Epipen was upstairs and I was with the enemy on the downstairs, large spider met small shoe and I’m perfectly OK with that outcome.