Tag Archives: confidence

What do you Value?

What are the guiding principals of your life?

Values can be described as the beliefs, attitudes and philosophies which you consider important. They don’t change from personal life to work, they are not situational. You don’t just walk out the door and change your values. The decisions you make in life and the actions associated with those decisions are influenced by your values alone.

We have certain things in life we value more than others. Over the course of our lifetime they remain firmly intact, but some may differ in terms of priority. For instance: there are certain things you may have valued more as a youth than in your adult life. They are still there, just possibly a bit farther down the list.

What we value shows up in how we shop, when we vote, in our friendships, work and play. Some values may be protected and defended more than others, compromise may not be an option. When asked to compromise values you are placed in a bad position, one that can affect you personally, emotionally, spiritually and professionally.

Being clear about what you value can help in your career and your relationships. If you value Honesty, Integrity, Loyalty and Self Respect you will try to live accordingly and seek out others of like mind. You will not be inclined to work for a company that is dishonest or makes you feel uncomfortable because what you value, clashes with their organization. If you value, Action, Adventure, Excitement you may seek this out personally and/or professionally through activities and people.

It was Roy Disney who was quoted as saying “When your values are clear to you, making decisions become easier.” This is true. So, I encourage you to take some time for yourself and clarify “What do I value in my life?” List out what is important to you in order of priority. That will help you build the confidence necessary to make the right decisions in life and work.

Here is a small list of values to get you started:

affection, emotion, love, athletics, health, beauty, nature, peace, challenge, change, curiosity, travel, wealth, enjoyment, fun, humour, family, marriage, parenthood, friendship, ideas, intelligence, logic, wisdom, inner harmony, social welfare, spiritual life, power, prestige, recognition, financial security, pleasure, sensuality and play.

Personal vs. Professional

One of the things I have questioned since starting to blog, is the exposure of my personal self and my professional self all on the same site. In a culture so obsessed with image, sometimes all for the wrong reasons, I would like to find a middle ground. You see, instead of worrying about “me” being open for public consumption, I want¬† to embrace it.

There is always a balance that must be struck, as I am particularly aware that professionalism is important and find it very frustrating when I see the lack of it in work places that I frequent. My professional image is significant, even the clothes I wear and the language that I use is extremely important. I feel a tremendous responsibility for the counsel I provide and the confidence that has been placed in me. Rarely would you catch me deviating from what I have determined is my “professional self image” and never from the ethics I live by. The work I do means a lot and the people I serve expect the best I can give. On my web page it is all business and service, and that is the way it will remain. I am part of a team of professionals and that is a partnership that needs to be honored. (Check out www.jbcrossland.com. Soon you will see a fresh website with more members of our team and I’m excited by the new look and services provided.)

My personal self has it’s own style and up till this point has remained private. What I do with my time, likes, dislikes or what I think about, has been mainly discussed only with family and friends. Some windows on my world were opened to others when I deemed it appropriate. Even when looking at my biography it was hard for me to initially allow for my personal tastes to be included, in essence showing the other me. But, I do not wish to create a space for duality, as I believe that when I work along side others I do so with authenticity. When I share with my friends and family I do so with that same authenticity. As such when I write it should be from that same core value.

The key is to be real, fake is not cool and people see right through it immediately. One of the reasons someone like Oprah Winfrey was a success, (beyond her obvious talents) was her ability to be herself and still do her job. She, and others like her, manage to give people a look inside their thoughts without over exposure, and they don’t have to be seen as perfect.

So, in regards to this little blog page:

It is a guarantee that I’m not always going to be grammatically correct and depending on the time I have or lack of sleep, my spelling could be off. (I have a great friend who may help keep that on track for me)

I am passionate about certain topics and may revisit them from time to time, this helps me try to make sense out of the senseless. Being myself means that I have strong opinions that may not be shared so well by others. This is where the room for comment plays such an important role and I love that.

So, choose what you want to experience, as there will be interplay between my personal and professional self. This to me embodies freedom and I can breathe a sigh of relief for the acceptance of all sides of myself. I encourage others to do the same. There will be no judgment here, your personal voice and professional opinions are equally welcome.

Thar She Blogs!

I have finally set sail on my voyage into the blogging world. First, I had to figure out what design I wanted for my ship, I scoured over countless inspirational designs and finally settled on one. I required a builder to take my ideas and make them a reality. I had to name the ship as she couldn’t set sail without a name, and of course lessons were necessary because I would be at the helm. I realized early on I was about to move through completely uncharted territory.

There was self taught moments, followed by utter confusion and fear of launching. There was plenty of captains and sailors around me, far more seasoned than I, who gave their advice but ultimately I knew this ship was my baby. It would be overly dramatic to say that giving birth to her was intense, but at times I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to set sail.

Like any new thing in life, you have to build up your confidence to pursue it. Not having a techno savvy background to pull from, I really think I made it a lot harder than it needed to be. But isn’t that what we do? When something is out of our comfort zone, the challenge seems immense. On days when your self esteem is high you set up to work towards your goal and seem to know just what questions to ask from those who have the expertise you lack. On the days when esteem is low, you flounder around questioning whether it was a good idea to begin with.

Advice: Take a moment away from the challenge before you, as a wise woman once told me “Jennifer, step away from the computer…make yourself a cup of tea.” In so doing I and you gain perspective and when you return, there is more energy to devote to your project. Be open to the learning, don’t feel you need to know it all, mistakes are OK and perseverance is the key to your success.

Welcome, hope you enjoy this cruise along with me, it should be a very interesting voyage!