Jack Welch the former General Electric Co. Chief made some comments at the Society for Human Resource Management conference that hit the proverbial fan. It seems the interpretation of his speech looked very much like a man who was nonsupporting of women who require time to raise a family. He is not one to believe in the concept of work/life balance. “There are work/life choices and you make them, and they have consequences.” Well, that sounds ominous.

Further to that, was the claim that a person who wants to take the time out for family will be be passed over for promotion if “you’re not there in the clutch.” I’ll save that one for another time, but as for work/life balance and choices here is where I want to go with this:

After all these years of working with individuals in career development/planning, I have yet to have one man come in and ask me how to balance his life and career.Truly, not one.

It may be because it was a little easier in some professions to climb to a level that afforded them more balance personally and financially.  As for having a family, they don’t have nine months of pregnancy to contend with; physically growing larger by the week, more tired by the day while still maintaining their employment and work responsibilities. Interruption in their career after baby is born is shorter and therefore doesn’t impact them greatly. It could also be that the division of labour in the home is still not equal and that children seem to require more of Mom’s attention than Dad’s.

So, by virtue of just these examples alone I would think the scale itself would not look balanced to begin with, so why ask? It may also be that it is all just water off a ducks back and trying to obtain balance is something men don’t feel the need to attain. Life is life.

In measuring anything on a scale we may see balance and we are happy with that for how ever long it last. It gives us a temporary sense of accomplishment. Then the scale may tip one way or the other as we attempt to add more things to one side. Balance is hard to maintain in a life that is not stagnant, but it is possible to balance more often than not.  That is why I will grant Mr. Welch one thing… we do have work/life choices and those are the things that get our scales unbalanced if not properly assessed prior to decision making.

Here is my observation from watching people all around me, listening in on conversations, reading the blogs and counselling the professional/working Mom.

Most of the time I see women doing far more than they need to be doing. They have made a “choice” to do for their children and their partners what each could do for themselves. Instead of dividing the workloads many women appear to feel they are superior; their children/partners are incapable of contributing properly. Consequently, the family’s ability to take on more responsibility or even think for themselves is lost. Many useful skills simply never get developed or vanish. These women have created the position of NEED, on top of all the hats worn they want also to be “needed.”

“I don’t know what they would do without me.” If a woman can not balance her life, transition within or even expand on her career in the way that she had intended, most of the time I can trace it back to impulsive decision making and/or to lack of delegation. If women today are less happy than they were in previous generations as some study suggested, it isn’t feminism that killed that (which was one of the suggested culprits) it is because they have not stepped up to the plate and claimed their life, career and time properly. Also, generation past… may have ill-prepared this generation to think, do and delegate. (Just an observation, not a scientific fact) 

Balance comes when the scale is evenly weighted – not perfect, it will move from time to time but the expectation is that others will help in the process. Here is food for thought: Children are not invalids! Less tech time and more understanding of home maintenance will help with work/life balance. Make the connection that a grown man who is perfectly capable at work to balance his appointments, meet deadlines, communicate and clean up his work space is able to do the same when he comes home.

At the end of the day it does come down to choices. There are consequences, but we make the scale tip negatively or positively. The career woman shouldn’t need to be afraid of her choices, let the Jack Welch’s of the world fade to black and have larger expectations for those around you professionally and personally. As a wise colleague of mine Sheila Radha Conrad pointed out “Empowerment comes from within”….use it! All the answers to what will balance your life, enhance your career and benefit your family can be found if you look inward.

2 Responses to “Work/Life Balance or Choice?”