Flat Abs at the checkout

Lose 100 pounds of stress fat, Body after Baby, How she lost the weight after pregnancy, Curb your cravings, Flat Sexy Abs, Your hormones your weight…shall I go on or are you already sucking in the stomach muscles and gearing up for the gym.

The minute you stand in a checkout the eye can’t help but scan the magazine covers. If not reading the latest headline about Brad and Angelina or the sex lives of the chronically relationship disabled, we are most likely catching a glimpse of what the body could look like if we did……something.

Wading in the sea of bikini wearing, air brushed stars and models I couldn’t help but laugh inside about the irony of loading our carts with food only to get a dose of why not to have bought most of it in the first place. Maybe the trick is to use the time wisely as you enter the aisles of doom.

I have some ideas for the next visit on how we can go from passive shopper to workout wonder!

1. After properly sanitizing the handle on your cart (yuk!) grip it hard and release, grip hard and release, repeat… do at least 3 reps of ten.

2. In the vegetable section, with bag in hand, lunge toward the back of the fruit and vegetable sections with a strong reach. Lift back leg slightly off the floor and reach forward. Not only will you get a stretch into the leg and arms but the freshest fruits and vegetables are placed at the back anyway.

3. Squat down, tighten that butt as you reach to the lower shelf for that can of green beans. Just doing a quick bend over doesn’t cut it, feel those buns contract and release as you squat for each item.

4. If your laundry soap comes in a plastic container with a handle, do three quick bicep curls per arm.

5. This is more of resistance training….avoid the cake aisle. Realize the happy wishes and icing colours are just trying to draw you in, resist I say. Take that opportunity to tighten the abs and release, tighten, release.

It is important to realize that all those supposedly happy, weightless, tanned, perky breasted, wrinkle free, washboard abs, buns of steel, yummy mommies and models are not much different than the rest of us. Except, they have a good plastic surgeon, an overpaid physical trainer, in house chef or the finances to buy better, magnified body image pressure, good technology  to air brush the flaws and enhance the appeal, the best hair, expensive makeup to cover everything, regular spa treatments and a wardrobe stylist so they don’t have to think about what to wear.  Other than all of that they are just like the rest of us.


Maybe it would be fun to explore what it would be like if magazines were covering men:

Lose that beer gut, From couch bum to tight buns, Exercise your way back into that Speedo (OK, bad visual), Minding your midlife spread, Burn off those sympathy pregnancy pounds, Lose your remote control lose weight, How to perk up your pecs.    —– Of course each magazine would have the tanned twenty something year old guy on the cover.

I’m not mocking being healthy that is good, but it is even better to be a great human being. So, here are the tags for my mock magazine:

You don’t need flat abs to accomplish your goals

Size only matters if you let it

Fake anything is just that, “fake”finding your authentic self

The minute your born you’re dying – fighting age is a waste of energy

Live life in the temple you were given.

So, next time we all walk into that store, cruise the aisles and get spit out at the other end for a walk down body image lane; take a deep breath and know you don’t have to buy what their selling.

Dove Evolution

4 Responses to Flat Abs at the checkout

  1. What a humourous but oh so true article, Jennifer! I loved it! You’ll have me thinking about those stretching exercises the next time I do a grocery shop. I also love Dove’s ad campaign for real beauty. I hadn’t seen that particular video before so thanks for posting it. I love the tags for your mock magazine! I’m sure that if I had grown up believing that I was good enough just the way I am, and had healthy self-esteem despite my weight issues, I would be a much more successful person in every avenue of my life now.

  2. I’m so glad you like the post, it was fun to explore! The Dove campaign highlighted the issue of self esteem and though they have been blasted a bit for their relationship with the Axe products it still is been a valuable learning tool.

    You are right, a healthy self esteem goes a long way to preparing us for the future. The weight issue in particular is a huge block for people especially women. It is never too late to learn to love the body we are in with a little help from friends, humour and a new way to look at the magazine covers.

    Have fun at the grocery store, let me know if you try any of the exercises

  3. Absolutely loved this article Jennifer! How true it is. You did a fabulous job of presenting it. I too will try the grocery store exercises!!

  4. I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I may have just started a new exercise program, a trend in healthy shopping while pointing out the obvious contradictions found at our local checkout and magazine counter. Have fun with your next shopping adventure!


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